I’m a 22, 89kg, and 5.8 male, lost 110 pounds. And this is a post asking for help,
I’m desperate and definitely in need of motivation and advice. I’m tired of going to the gym and diet for 3 weeks then stop and telling myself I’ll start the next week, I’m tired of being weak and waking up aching and depressed and insecure. tired of loneliness and thinking about the future and how I’m 22 yo and look like an old man and every one of my friends body’s are better than me and I’m not enjoying the way I look in this age, of caloric defict’s, of the idea that I can’t make any push ups or pull ups, of everything. I feel like I’ve been wasting my life by not being physically well enough to enjoy the time I’ve been given so far and I want to change that.
I’m at the point where something needs to change because there’s no point in me living like this anymore. I can’t fake anything anymore. My personality doesn’t match my body and my body is affecting my personality to the point that I get afraid to be my personality, I think like 50 times before going to the gym. I hate everything about me.
I’ve been doing caloric deficit for months now after my last 110 pounds weight loss but I regain the weight that I loss because I lose my motivation pretty fast and I’ve no friends that are interested to go to the gym with me. The way my body looks and the idea that my body looks will not change during the caloric deficit and stronglifts 5x5 strength training except maybe some after a year or so because I’m a beginner that just makes me very very down every time I think about the gym.
Every morning I wake up and dislike the way I look, the way my arms looks. I’ve spent money on new clothes, all sizes are small for me, telling myself that “it’ll fit when you just lose the weight.” Yet they still sit in the closet. I can’t dress the way I want to because I don’t look good, I can’t take pictures of myself because I hate the way I look, I have no photos with my friends in high school because I didn’t look good and I was afraid to take pictures with them. I feel so held back. Like I’m wasting my life. I’m lonely, sad, fat, weak.
I have access to a gym and a membership, I have a bicycle. but I have no energy. I want to change. I want to get physically fit and strong. I want to go play football with friends. I want to start living life and enjoying… everything in this age. Like I can do this. I just don’t know how or why I feel like I’m at a roadblock.
What advice do you have for someone who is starting out? I would love someone to just talk to about all this because it’s overwhelming and depressing. I’m sorry for another “help me I’m fat” post. I want to change. And if anything, thanks for just letting me rant and get all this out because the pressure from it is so overwhelming. Thanks.