I'M BACK....Did You Miss Me?

Man this place looks different. it’s gonna take some getting used to, but it looks pretty sweet. For those of you who remember me, i have been gone for about 6 months. for those of you who dont know me, hello.

i ran into some tuff times and i wanted to share how lifting has saved my soul. The 8th of Feb. my whole world collapsed, i lost my mom to melanoma. as if that was not enough pain, the memorial tattoo i got for her the next day on my forearm got infected because i trained when it was still fresh. that alone kept me out for a month while it healed.

while it healed i had plenty of time to think and i became depressed.to the point that any intense focus brought memories of my mom to my mind and i would break down.
i always wanted to show her how strong i was, she was my motivation to lift, and improve. she was a very strong woman and i used that strength to drive the need to make her proud. whenever i would get ready for a heavy lift the same memories i used to train would break me down, even the damn songs on the radio all reminded me of her.

so i took some time of from lifting, and i found myself starting to care less about how i looked and felt. i didnt train, i ate like shit, i let my beard grow out, the whole shitty works. i became angry all the time. my pain would manifest itself through rage and i would explode over the smallest things.

I dont mean to sound all dramatic, and i assure you there is a point to this story.

i have recently started back into training. i joined a dungeon of a gym where i can be alone(maybe 10 people in there at one time).i have regained control of my diet, and even picked up that mach three again. i feel great again, like my old self. just hitting the weights has brought the joy back to my life that i have been lacking.

the people around me have even noticed the change. i love lifting weights and i will NEVER stop again. it’s hard for me to put into words the feeling i get while lifting. then again i dont have to here, you know what i’m talking about. it has been a while, and i look forward to speaking with those of you who knew me and those of you i have yet to meet.


this is a lot like one of my favorite articles by TC… http://www.T-Nation.com/readArticle.do?id=1377107

also… i recommend this if you haven’t read it…

welcome home.

Hey man, glad that you’ve come back to the iron.

If you get a chance, post your training in the BOI thread.

You can find it here… http://www.T-Nation.com/tmagnum/readTopic.do?id=1202798

Myself as well as others post are training there, and I believe I can speak for everyone that it’d be great to have you stop by.

Keep on keeping on brother!


Welcome back and Keep rollin bro.

My mother I lost in much the same fashion and she was much the same and is to this day much the same as you speak of your mom. Its hard bro but Im sure she’d want you to keep pressing on doing what you love. etc. Its hard but try and focus on the good times you did have, not dwell on what you may have missed

Stay strong


Stay Strong.

Welcome back,

I lost my father to cancer some years ago. It is tough and you will always miss your mother but as you have already learned, your soul and psyche will heal.

Leaving the iron for a while was a mourning ritual. Your journey in the wilderness so to speak. Now you are back.

Again, welcome

Welcome back Mazilla. Sorry about your Mom and your trials. No doubt you are a stronger person now. Now go over to the SATMA forum and check out some T&A to lift your spirits.