T Nation

I'm a Victim of a Drive-by!!

Title is a bit misleading,
It wasn’t exactly a South Central L.A. drive-by…

This was in North London tonight,in a decent neighbourhood.
So I’m walking along the street,
Its like 11:30 at night,I’m minding my business,
and this car slows down,and the guy in the passenger seat throws an egg at me!!
Motherfucker!!

Punks with nothin’ better to do,driving around egging people!!

The egg hit the floor,but a lot of it splattered over my shoes…
And I was wearing my Converse All Stars…THESE ARE MY LIFTING SHOES!!

I was kind of in shock,just staring down at my shoes covered in egg,just traumatised,I mean,I could handle it if they were my cross trainers,or some other leather shoe that wipes clean,but these are my Chucks,man!!

The egg is gonna soak into the canvas!!
It’s a dark street,so I try getting a better look at them,to see the damage,and as I look round,

I see the car has stopped about 80 yards down the road,and one of these pudknockers is sticking his head out of the window,presumably to see if they got me.

So I’m thinking,do I walk over,or do damage control on my Chucks before it dries in?
I grab a few leaves off the street,and wipe some off.

Then I start walking over.
But as I’m walking over,I think to myself how I don’t even know how many people are in that car,there could be five of these punks.
For all I know,one or more of them have a bat,a tyre iron,a knife,a gun.

I can’t see as it’s dark-they could be big guys or scrawny fucks. Perhaps they are waiting for me to get closer for this very reason,perhaps even this is part of some gang initiation,or part of the fun-they beat up or maim whoever responds.

Flashbacks of true crime programmes like Crimewatch played in my head,I imagined me being a statistic (Stabbings and shootings are at an all-time high in London)
Then I thought even if I smack them around a bit,knowing my luck,cops will drive past and I’ll get arrested for assault!

I then thought-at the very least,one of 'em could probably hit me with another egg before I get over there,and then they drive off.
Or maybe they are just gonna wait until I get over there and then drive off fast,laughing and goading me.

That would just piss me off even more than if I had just walked on! Yeah,maybe thats exactly the response they want. Then I thought of how so many experienced Martial Artists,including my mentor when I practised Kickboxing and my Sensei now I study Shotokan Karate,would frown on my response and aggression.

Their words played through my head.
They would probably play it down and laugh it off,being philosophical that it is still a fight I can walk away from,and if a fight was to kick off,although they provoked me,I would be the instigator.

Self-defence is a long way from what I had in mind. I wanted to drag these fuckers out of the car and beat them to a pulp,I wasn’t going over for an apology. This happened on a dark,empty street.
No-one saw it.

So my pride wasn’t hurt as such,
and I had nothing to prove.
But still I’m moseying over like John Wayne.
Main difference being I don’t have two big-ass Colt .45’s under my jacket,which would really swing the odds in my favour.

About halfway,I stopped.
I’m 30 years old,I’m too old for this shit!
They drove off.
So I turn round and walk on.

Proud of how I walked away,not even shouting or waving my fist at them.
Nope,don’t give 'em the satisfaction…

Then I think ‘You know what,they’re probably gonna circle the block and take another shot! motherfuckers!’
and just then,I spot this brick just sitting there.

I never noticed it before.
Now it just seems so inviting.
So I think ‘If they come round again,they’re getting this brick through the fucking side window! jerkoffs! Then i’m gonna go Jackie Chan on their ass if they stop!’

So I pick up the brick,feel the weight of it,do a few arm circles to warm up with the brick,get used to the weight and feel of it.
Then I take a seat on a wall and wait for these jerkoffs.

I waited for them.I actually HOPED they would come round again.
5 minutes passed,but they never came back.

Sorry,Sensei,I am still a Grasshopper,I guess,I’m on the path,but I guess I’m not a Martial Artist yet.

Intense. Did you ever get the egg out of your Chucks?

Hey,It’s life on the street…
:slight_smile:
Well,my chucks are in the washing machine now…I’ll post a damage report.
Thanks for the concern,brother.
I mean,ya know,I hate to sound like a Drama Queen,but these are my FUCKIN’ LIFTING SHOES!!

Ans they’re WHITE chucks
I hope T-Readers sympathise.
Or at least find the post funny.
Whatever works for ya!!
I’ve calmed down a bit now,
this was like 5 hours ago.

I was waiting in line and movie theater once, and my friend got hit with a jelly donut.

True Story.

That sucks. My red ones are gettin shitted up, I may just get a pair of black ones.

Fuckin’ vegans wasting perfectly good eggs.

Well,yeah…

I was also upset at the wasting of good eggs.
A jelly doughnut would’ve upset me less…

[quote]g star 24 7 wrote:
Well,yeah…

I was also upset at the wasting of good eggs.
A jelly doughnut would’ve upset me less…[/quote]

Nobody throws carbs anymore…

I had visions of dragging the egg thrower from the car and ‘kerb-stomping’ his ass,
like Edward Norton in American History X.
You think that would be an overreaction?

[quote]g star 24 7 wrote:
I had visions of dragging the egg thrower from the car and ‘kerb-stomping’ his ass,
like Edward Norton in American History X.
You think that would be an overreaction?[/quote]

EYE FOR AN EYE

I just came back from a bit of a late-night run. There was one car I saw twice while I was out. I kept waiting for eggs, but none came.

I was wearing Flyers, by the way.

I’m part english (have a british passport), and that’s one thing I can’t fucking stand about the country.
You just have so many fucking arseholes there. Not that there aren’t any in Australia, but it’s just not the same.

Sorry bout the chucks dude,… eggs are rought to get out.

Couple years back, some ass parked his car in the very narrow lot between my building and the next one. A limo had blocked him in at some point, and as everyone who usually parked there lived in the building, must have thought no one would need to get out for the evening. Anyway, this young kid comes back to realize that he can’t get his car out, and no one’s around who he can ask to move the car (this is in Queens, NY, so your chances of finding whose car it is in the middle of the middle of the night are nil). So what does he do? Starts leaning on his horn. It’s about 3am, and this dickhead is going on and on while screaming up and down the street. Eventually, I opened my window, and nailed his rearview mirror with about 4 eggs while he was inside the car honking away. This effectively put an end to the blaring noise. Moral of the story? Eggs have many many wonderful uses… but should still not be used on Chucks.

S

sorry buddy,I thought i was helping out
you looked famished so I tossed the egg at ya.it was all i had on me ( I keep a dozen in my pocket for things like this)

wasnt my fault you didnt catch it.

again sorry :wink:

[quote]Nich wrote:
sorry buddy,I thought i was helping out
you looked famished so I tossed the egg at ya.it was all i had on me ( I keep a dozen in my pocket for things like this)

wasnt my fault you didnt catch it.

again sorry ;)[/quote]

next time at least call out ‘think fast!’ before you chuck it…

I tried washing my Chucks with some stain remover in the washing machine.
They are now bright white,but you can still see the egg.

It’s not too much though.

[quote]g star 24 7 wrote:
I tried washing my Chucks with some stain remover in the washing machine.
They are now bright white,but you can still see the egg.
It’s not too much though.
[/quote]

what you should have done and i didnt even think to tell you,Im sorry

take normal liquid luandry soap I use tide,pour it on the stain first and scrub it with a toothbrush and allow to site about 15 mins then wash them in the washer.
you can try it now but I think its pretty much set maybe a second washing will get it a little lighter where you cant notice.

cheers,I’ll give it a shot…

Last year some 30 something year old guy who was with a girl walked through me and a few other peoples circle while we were playing hack in a parking lot. The hack hit the girl. THis guy pushed one of my friends.

I turned him around grabbed his jacket shook him and pushed him back a few feet and told him to appologize for being a bitch. he told me to shut the fuck up. I told him he was going to get his ass kicked if he didn’t walk away.

The guy ends up appologizing, realising his 6’ 140 pound body was going to get beaten and he would probably go to jail if he got in a fight with a minor as a reward for his troubles.

A question, Who was the d-bag? Me or him?

I normally won’t say shit to anyone, I deffinately do not mess with other peoples shit until they try to mess with mine.

[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
I normally won’t say shit to anyone, I deffinately do not mess with other peoples shit until they try to mess with mine.[/quote]

That’s how I live.