T Nation

I'll Be Moving Soon...


#1

Just read this and found it entertaining. Ignore if it is a repost.

Dear Mr. President:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

  1. Free medical care for my entire family.

  2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

  3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

  4. I want my grand-kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

  5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

  6. I want my grand-kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

  7. Please plan to feed my grand-kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

  8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

  9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

  10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

  11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

  12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

  13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

  14. I want to receive free food stamps.

  15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

  16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

  17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18.. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!


#2

Yep, can you believe that it only took less than a year for all of this to happen. I mean before Obama there was no immigration problem, right?


#3

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#4

you do not have tobe mexican to get free health care , all you need is not to care about your credit rating


#5

To sum your statements up: Shit rolls down hill.....and it's found a resting place. How's that sound?


#6

Damn.Great.Thread.


#7

OK, anyone in employment regardless of nationality gets free medical care for their entire family with IMSS so check.

Not all needs but when I first got here and didn't speak Spanish everyone went out of their way to try to communicate in English so check.

Many are available in English on their website.

My daughter goes to a bilingual school, half her classes are in English

They already do along with other important bits of world history. There is also US television so she can get the rest from the History channel

Now this one depends on the school, state schools fly the Mexican flag but there are plenty of American Schools. There is a school here with British flags everywhere but it is not very good so I sent my daughter to a different one as her education was more important.

My daughter gets breakfast and lunch at school. Before she started school she was at a free state run nursery where she got breakfast and lunch as well.

Turn up to the drivers licensing office with a copy of your US license and your FM2 or FM3 and they will give you one for about 10 dollars, you will have to pass a vision test though.

You will fit right in!

This I can't promise you, but most have at least rudimentary English as long as you are polite.

I have the flag of St George on both of my cars, other non-Mexican friends have their national flags as well. This has never been a problem and has actually started many friendly conversations with people.

This is actually pretty easy to do here. I pay taxes because I work for a large multinational company and because I think it is the right thing to do, previously when I was working as a teacher I paid no taxes.

No need, the people are incredibly welcoming and really interested to learn more about the rest of the world.

My company gives me $1,500 (MEX) per month in food vouchers

Sorry can't stretch to this one but rents are very, very reasonable.

Again, this one is unfortunately a bit of a stretch in such a poor country.

Why not buy it in the US and drive it across the border therefore helping to stimulate the US economy and getting a cheaper car?

No problem, take your FM3 or FM2 to the government offices to obtain your CURP and RFC.

No problem and good luck.


#8

lol

The analogy is spot on.


#9

They did an ICE raid not too far from my house this past week, they caught 9 illegals who were in gangs, and one admitted he was a hit man for one of the Mexican drug cartels. THE ACLU is now bitching.


#10

half this stuff might, might, go on in border towns in texas or arizona. at least in cali where entitlements are ripe. I have yet to see a mexican flag flying at a school, keep in mind im 20min from the border. most govn't offices down here don't have spanish speaking staff 24/7, might be an oncall translator. one of my middle school friends sat in the back of the class for like years becuase everyone assumed he was spanish speaking, but was brazilian. he eventually learned english on his own.

all low income kids at schools get breakfast and lunch, if were going to bother putting them through school, might as well feed them so its not a waste of time. Have yet to see a school that teaches mexican history. some schools have world history that might include mexico.

i understand the point of the post, but next time make it at least 90% factual. It reads like swiss cheese. I'd waged someone from the dakotas or montana wrote this. when those pasty goons come and swarm my beach during the summer, they act like everyones a mexican and california burritos are actual spanish cuisine.


#11

strange. didn't see it on the news. got a link?


#12

Sure thing...

http://www.streetgangs.com/news/092509_bellgardenssweep/


#13

Go to Maywood, they took down an American Flag and flew a Mexican Flag above a US Post Office.