T Nation

If you found out...

that your gf was cheating on you, I have one question: Would you want to beat the sh#t out of him or her? Or both? It seems like most guys want to tear the guy a new a-hole when he’s not the one earing your heart out, she is. I personally don’t know what I’d do, but I don’t think my anger would be directed at the other guy. Unless I knew him or he was a friend of mine, in which case I would probably end up in prison. Your thoughts? Or, if this has happened to you, what did YOU do?

I wouls think ‘I liked the girl I though she was but she didn’t turn out that way so too bad’ & then drop her like a bad habit. & then maybe dump gasoline on the dipshit asshole & set him on fire.

Well, you can’t beat the shit out of her and you HAVE to beat the shit out of someone. Better him than some random asshole. Of course, you dump her skanky ass.

This did happen to me once and I always said that if it did it would be the girl’s fault because any guy would do the same thing (including me) when it comes to a hot woman. When it did happen though, the guy turned out to be a cocky asshole, and thought that he’d really pulled on over on me. So, when he laughed at me, I did have to beat his ass. Oh well, I guess I made a liar out of myself!

I practically walked in on my girlfriend of 16 months and soon to be fiance and another guy. It’s not a fun experience, but I did the only thing I could do; move on w/ my life.

she is the one that is supposed to be loyal to you and care about you. having said that, beat his ass anyway!

Dump her immedeately then go to the GYM and have the most intense workout of your life. What you send out returns to you, let it roll off your back. Just be thankful that you were not married with kids…

I agree you need to vent on some human punching bag ( hope it turns out to be male). At the same time though, consider this a prequel to marriage. Be honest and if you haven’t been giving her the attention and or respect she deserves (or any other reason)then learn your lesson or you will make the same mistake when you are married. Unless you are a completely poor judge of character there maybe something on your and to cause her to seek someone else out. " Those who fail to learn from history, are destined to repeat it" A.L.F. Sorry to play the devils advocate, there may have been nothing on your part, but then again maybe there was, and if someone didn’t point it out, you may not have thought about it. Peace, Tmofa

Chalk it up to one of those tough Life’s Lessons…


…and move on…

Just judging by your black and white description of the options at hand I would guess you are a young chap. I have had this happen while it is not pleasant it is no biggie either if you handle it correctly. I walked up to them f’ing and said I hope he is good cause that is all your worth. Those words will burn in her soul for life she will never forget them. I then packed my stuff without a word. Bruises, cuts, scrapes, concussions heal. Words cut for life. Send her to therapy. The man who throws the first punch has run out of things to say. Violence is the last solace of the ego. Granted you should defend if necessary but aggression will not help you in a situation like that.

Tmofa had a good point in that you do need to see if you somehow gave her reason to go outside of your relationship for something. I have no idea if you didn’t give her everything she needed, I just think you should take that into consideration.

Also, beating someone’s ass will not make you feel better in the long run. It seems like it would help your anger in the short run, but that’s all it would do. And a T-man shouldn’t just be thinking about the short run. Revenge will not make you happier overall. What you should do is drop that girl like a bad habit - for both yourself and her. As far as I know, I’ve never been cheated on, but I have been the “other” guy before, and in those situations, it’s always been the girlfriend that initiated the act.

I agree with MDLP. When my last girlfriend cheated on me, I took my anger out at the gym. I made lots of PRs during that time. Even nowadays (years after it happened), if I want to squeeze out an extra rep or two, I instantly think of her. It works everytime!

Nothing you could have done justifies cheating. If you don’t like the person you are with you either address it with them or move on to someone else. Cheating isn’t an option.

There is one thing you can do that would ensure they never, ever forget you and it would send both of them into therapy indefinitely. If you catch them: first beat his behind, then bang him and make her watch. Now, this is all very gay (not that anything?s wrong with that) but if you can handle it they will never forget you and will never cheat on anyone else.

This has happened to me. I almost beat the guys ass but several of his buddies stopped me. Eventually I got him but it was a waste of time bc she wasn’t worth it. Everytime a girl has broke up with me she eventually calls me back or wants me back. Why you ask? bc i treated them good. instant gratifcation is why alot of people cheat. After all shit ends if you treated her right I promise you she will come calling back. Then you can tell her to go to HELL.

The “big man” thing to do would be to simply break up with her and move on, period.

The “alpha dog” thing to do would be to beat him down to send out the message to the world that nobody best be sniffing around your territory.

The “trailer trash” thing to do would to be to beat her.

I would want to get away for a good while. I think just reacting to stuff like this is not a great idea. I would just tell her “I trusted you and you took that trust and threw it in my face. Goodbye.”

It’s interesting to hear from the people this has happened to, thanx for the stories. John K- “the trailer trash thing to do would be to beat her” -Hilarious!
And yes, I agree there needs to be introspection by the one who has been cheated on BUT I was simply asking what you might do at that very moment, NOT down the road. Joel MArion- Sorry you had to go through that, but at least you found out before marriage which I’m sure was not much consolation at the time, I’m sure…

F*#@ THAT! Aint the other person’s fault! More than likely they dont know. Kick em to the curb. At least that’s what I do.

Heres my story! I was visiting America and ended up dancing in clubs. I meet a guy there and over time I was hooked on him. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. I returned to England to get everything sorted and he was moved to Georgia, he’s Military. I came back to the U.S and after we got married, I found out he had been cheating on me with another girl, also a dancer. I was gutted and a year later I still have not gotten over it! I had to work in three clubs were this cow was working and dear god she is a heffer. I am only just sort of getting over it. I know how I have changed and how it has affected the relationship in and out of bed. There are so many theories and excuses about the whole thing. I myself dreamed of breaking her and his neck often. But you know what you are better than that! My advice is if you lover her let her know and let her work to come to you and let her know she has to be prepared to resolve this. Otherwise move on. Don’t whatever you do get ibnto fights or that sort. Whats done is done and your better than that! Good luck