T Nation

If I Was... I Would...

If I was seven feet tall, I would hate doorways!

If I was closer to my weight class I would be eating ice cream right now.

If I were a woman,I would be a lesbian

If I were a whale, I would have a 2 foot long tongue and breath out of the top of my head.

if i were a vacuum, I would suck up dust bunnies.

If I were bored, I would post in this thread.

If I was a horse, I would be put out to stud!

If I was not me, I’d be somebody else.

If I were single, I’d fuck the hell out of you.

If I was disciplined, I would be less fat.

If I had 132 teeth and guarded the hulk, I would be my zipper.

PMPM

Damn girl, loved that.

if i wasnt in pain, i might be in a good mood

might.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
If I were single, I’d fuck the hell out of you.

[/quote]

BE SINGLE! NOW!

If I were a midget I’d go around telling people their hair smells nice.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
If I were single, I’d fuck the hell out of you.

[/quote]

If I wasn’t left speechless, I’d say something right now.

If I was thosebananas I would have kicked some ass.

if i was ZACH BRAFF i would EAT LOTS OF CARROTS

If I were a rich man, I would feedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle dee. All day long I’d biddy biddy bum; if I were a wealthy man.*

  • – not my own original work

If I were really really fat, I would have more chins then a Chinese phone book.