If a Dog Wore Pants

Amazed this conversation hasn’t come up here, so might as well bring perhaps the most heated argument to ever exist…

The second one, of course. The first picture is more of a smock of sorts, not really pants.

The second is clearly more pants like, both in appearance and function.

Plus, if a dogs were to wear their pants as it appears in pic 1, they would not be able to hit a full running stride without massive restriction to stride length, but the second pic allows for full stride.

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yeah, but you just going to let their other legs be all exposed like that? its basically public indecency

That would be the shirts job. They aren’t wearing shoes either, so no shoes, no shirt, no service.

If he’s going to 7/11 for a 12 pack & some smokes nobody is going to question his choice of attire though. They’ll be too busy trying to solve dog year math to determine whether he looks old enough to buy the cigarettes & beer.


I mean i see where you’re coming from, but the shirt would still be going over the dog’s legs. What about some other options?

Also, you had 7/11 employees actually check ID?

I’d think more along the lines of a tank top, especially for bully breeds. Covers the belly but highlights the shoulders & neck.

I actually put my old pit in a wifebeater one time and left her outside for a while. Heard a few neighbors say thing like “Oh my lord…”.


Interesting question. I think a dog would prefer a mankini instead of pants. Pants will not stay up no matter how you put them on. Why pants to begin with? Donald Duck has a top. That should mean something. Showing your ass must be important (from a dog’s standpoint). Digressing here.

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I mean surely dogs don’t want to be in the nude forever. I guess we could give them suspenders or overalls, but then I have to question whether the tail should be enclosed within the clothing or not… one cannot cut a hole for the tail without accidental booty hole visibility.

Furthermore, either method of dog jeans still winds up covering the nipples with trousers of one form or another.

These are the questions that keep me up at night

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But then you hade to remove the pants in order to take a shit. Tail covered - no shit, booty visibility - ability to shit spontaneously.

I feel we are onto a vital evolutionary subject here. All for the future of dogkind.

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You don’t remove your pants before you shit?


LOL! Well, yes, but is the dog in question able to do so? Maybe a small facilitation in form of a ring-shaped flap will solve this problem. But contamination of said pant/flap will undoubtebly be a problem. Damn, this IS unsolveable!

Come to think of a similar discussion re prolonged use of underwear in another thread.

It would probably be all good if I left this discussion - yesterday. :smile:

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Perhaps the question should be “if a dog wore skirts.”


While i agree that this needs to be discussed, i think it is potentially more important to discuss how a dog would wear pants first… reason being that the gender of the dog is irrelevant in the case of pants, but only girl dogs would be wearing skirts.

nevertheless, I am feeling that a couple hot-button issue with dogs wearing skirts will arise…

  • skirt length
  • is it covering all 4 legs?
  • Is it going to cover the tail, or should the tail be out? (what point is there for a leg garment to still expose the butthole?)

If anything, i only have more questions now

I’m amazed that that amazes you.

The price of pants is a docked tail, sadly. As evidenced by the one and one example.


So i must ask… With the docked tail, are we going to just be okay with the pants also covering up some of the dogs’ nipples?

Though i’ve seen act this demonstrated at numerous Walmarts with women insisting that a pair of pants can double as a sleeveless romper if you pull them up high enough, I dont know if we should force this same gaff onto our four legged friends.