T Nation

Ideas for Anti-Steroid Video?


#1

Hey everyone, i qualified to make an anti-steroid video. This is important to me because I was the only one in my county to qualify for this, and i can win $1,000! I could care less if i lose, but i will be making an effort to win. So in that case, give me your funny ideas!

The video will be editied using finalcut pro and motion so it's a legitamit ad, this is for my tv news editing class. Now i dont agree with the whole "anti" part, but since it involves gear it caught my attention. This WILL be on tv, so make it great! thanks.


#2

Showing a greenpeace-type vegan 120lbs soaking wet loser taking a test injection, then going apeshit over every other of his group in a meeting they have. Then, closing this the following "Steroids. Not even once. Stay a pussy."

Semi-serious.


#3

opening scene - A Quest For Strength

-lots of big guys training. Cuts to some skinny dude (tall, like 6' 2" but only like 140lbs) struggling to bench just an empty bar.

-cuts to 4 huge guys drinking Cell-tech. They're HUGE. One of them spots the skinny dude and they all start laughing, bro-fiving each other and flexing

-close up of skinny guy's face, a single tear rolls down his cheek. He picks up his gym bag and runs out of the gym, arms flailing around like a sissy.

-camera cuts back to the big dudes who are still laughing and rubbing baby oil on each other, slapping each others arms and thighs

Scene 2 - Por que Diablo

-skinny dude is in his bedroom, flexing in the mirror and crying.

-camera cuts to downward angle, skinny dude sinks to his knees, throws his head back and his arms in the air. Screams:

SKINNY DUDE: Why god? Why must I live the life of a skinny bitch? Why has my messiah forsaken me?

-he curls into the foetal position and cries, lightning strikes, somewhere a wolf howls, camera fades to black

Scene 3 - The Descent

-Skinny guy is in the gym again, this time struggling to deadlift a bar with 2 baby plates on either side. 2 big guys walk past again, one of them whispers something in the other bro's ear, they both laugh and walk off.

-Camera cuts back to skinny guy, he's MAD. He crushes the polystyrene cup he's holding, spills gatorade on himself but he's too mad to care.

-From out of nowhere, a big dude appears. He's a big guy but doesn't look healthy, has the faded eyes and bad teeth of a meth addict, despite having 18+ inch guns. Tattoos, shaves head, piercings etc. A conversation ensues:

WEIRD GUY: Hello there pretty, I sssssee you are sssstruggling to make gainssss. You musssst be a hard gainer. Ssssso ssssad.
SKINNY GUY: Yes! Oh god it's so nice to meet someone who understands. I AM a hardgainer! I've tried muscle milk, mutant mass, NO Xplode, nothing seems to work!
WEIRD GUY: Oh I know something that'll work. It alwaysssss workssss my pretty.
SKINNY GUY: Oh man you gotta hook me up, I've tried EVERYTHING. My diet is spot on, I mean I drink two mass gainers EVERY DAY!
WEIRD GUY: Well come with me my pretty. I will ssssshow you sssssomething sssssweet.

-they walk out of the gym together, the weird guy has his arms around skinny guy. He is wearing a cape.

Scene 4 - The Despair

-They are in the weird guy's apartment. It is lit by candles, there is blood on the walls and a pentagram on the floor. They are sitting cross legged on either side of the pentagram.

WEIRD GUY: Here you go my pretty.
-he hands him some vials filled with a strange green liquid. It glows slightly.
SKINNY GUY: What are these? Creatine? I heard that shit makes you rage and is really bad for your pancreas
WEIRD GUY: No, not creatinesssss, sssssteroids.
SKINNY GUY: Steroids? I can't take those, they're illegal!
-skinny guy moves towards the door, it shuts by itself, as if blown by a strong breeze, only there is no breeze. He turns around to face the weird guy and is startled to see that the weird guy is standing right behind him, despite being seated on the other side of the room just a few seconds ago
WEIRD GUY: Ssssssure, I underssssstand. But tell me, aren't you sick of buying exssssstra sssssmall sssshirts? Ssssseeing the bigger guyssss in the Ed Hardy sssssshirts getting all the girlsssss?
SKINNY GUY: Well yeah, but...
WEIRD GUY: Then jusssst relax and take the ssssteroids. Do you want to be a hardgainer all your life? Sssssspring break is only a few monthssss away...
SKINNY GUY: Well, I am a hardgainer...
-he takes the vials, a grandfather clock tolls midnight, lightning strikes. The weird guy throws back his head and laughs a really deep, scary laugh. Coyotes can be heard in the distance.

-cuts to a statue of the Virgin Mary, it cries 2 tears of blood.

Scene 4 - The Madness

-Skinny Guy is in the gym deadlifting like a champ. 3 plates a side, then 4, then 5. Every set seems to make him stronger. He's drawn a crowd but he doesn't even care, he keeps on repping out, adding plates, repping out etc.

-He finishes his set and picks up a protein shake. A smoking hot gym bunny comes over.

GYM BUNNY: Oooohhh you are so strong, can I feel your big muscles?
SKINNY GUY: Sure baby his voice is 2 octaves deeper, he sounds like Shaft, these ain't guns, they're god damn WMDs! You wanna see me overhead press?
GYM BUNNY: Oooohhhh
-a visible dampness appears in the crotch of her yoga pants

-skinny guy proceeds to overhead press a ludicrous weight, gym bunny can hardly contain her arousal. Just as he's about to finish, one of the bro's walks over and starts talking to the gym bunny

BRO: Hey baby, wuss hapnin?
GYM BUNNY: Oh I was just talking to...
-the bro cuts her off mid sentence
BRO: This pussy? Pfft, does he even lift?

-camera cuts to Skinny Guy, he's heard everything. He stands totally still, weight still locked out overhead. Hears the words "Does he even lift?" repeating again and again in his head.

-close up of his face, the blood vessels in his eyes start bursting, turning his eyes crimson with blood.

-camera pans back, he's still holding the bar overhead, eyes blood red. With a mighty roar, he bends the bar at a 90 degree angle.

-camera pans to the crowd, they're not impressed now, they're terrified.

-Skinny Guy throws the bent barbell like a boomerang at the bro. It cuts him in half. Blood splashes over the crowd and they panic to get away. In their panic they trample each other. The floor becomes a twisting, writhing mess of bodies and blood.

-Camera pans back to Skinny Guy. His eyes have completely rolled back in his head, and he is trembling. A line of blood appears down his midline, like his skin is splitting apart.

-With a horrifying tearing sound, Skinny Guy's skin rips open in an explosion of blood. It reveals a monster, kinda like a bigfoot but with scales not hair.

-the monster goes beserk, it tears through the crowd ripping off limbs, heads etc and devouring anything that comes too close.

-the monster bursts through the windows at the front of the gym and is greeted by a line of police cars with officers crouching behind.

-the monster shrieks as the officers open fire. It takes like a million bullets to put it down.

-after the shooting stops and the smoke clears, Skinny Guy's naked body is lying in a crucifix position on the ground, eyes open, splattered with blood. One of his fists is clenched.

-A plain-clothes police officer wearing a trenchcoat and smoking a cigarette ambles up. You can tell by looking at him he's been on the force a long time, and has seen his share of horrors.

-the policeman puts on one of those disposable rubber gloves and opens Skinny Guy's clenched fist. The vials of green liquid fall out. Once exposed to daylight, they stop glowing.

-The policeman stands up, turns to one of the uniformed officers and says:
POLICEMAN: Just what I thought. Roid rage.

-The camera now pans up at the sky. The words "The End" fade in. Then the screen turns black and the weird guy who sold him the steroids face appears, but slightly transparent as if it's not really real. He laughs, then the screen turns completely black.

-Roll credits with Wandering Star by Portishead playing in background

EPILOGUE *to be played after the credits

-the gym bunny stands at a grave holding a bunch of flowers and crying. It is clear it is Skinny Guy's grave. As she reaches down to put the flowers on the grave, and hand bursts up out of the grave and grabs her by the the throat. She screams.


#4

Ok, this is fucking epic.


#5

for some reason my epilogue isn't showing...

EPILOGUE *to be played after the credits

-the gym bunny stands at a grave holding a bunch of flowers and crying. It is clear it is Skinny Guy's grave. As she reaches down to put the flowers on the grave, and hand bursts up out of the grave and grabs her by the the throat. She screams.


#6

thanks Nik, as you can probably tell, I am pretty bored today


#7

The best part of the entire movie lmao.


#8

Thaaaaaat wassssss awesomeeeeeeeeeeee haha.

I almost died when I got to....

"a visible dampness appears in the crotch of her yoga pants "

and than it kept getting better haha


#9

Hahahaha love it rds!! although it's a great idea, the video can only be 2 minutes long:p otherwise I'd do it and not care about the profanity. I was thinking me going into the androgenic aspect of it first in a white room on a chair with my leg crossed.

Casually talking about the baldness and genes and acne, water retention, emotions etc.while going through pictures with dramatic musicfor about .86 seconds after i explain a symptom.when i upload it, ill put it on here. It has to be in terms other people would understand. Which is the annoying part. Otherwise I'd go into full detail.

I'm going for a scene where im in my highschool lockerroom and "Kevin" lets his friends go in the gym while he waits a while. He then pulls out his vial and needle (or should i do orals?) and sticks himself and gets ready. Btw, I'm kevin hahaha. I'll be either squatting or deadlifting and just slam the weight down. Then like abuse my girlfriend, go into debt, get bad acne, and just dramatic stuff that usually never happens. Give me more idea's!


#10

  1. It should definitely be needles. Needles scare the shit out of people for some reason, whereas the general public loves oral medication (see purple drank).

  2. when you described the first scene, I was picturing Manson playing this part. It worked in my head, so you should definitely hire him. In fact, he should be in all the scenes. Make it happen. Post vid.


#11

LOL rds!!


#12

LOL RDS you have an amazing brain that really painted a solid picture in my mind and the best line: 'he is wearing a cape' haaa!


#13

Needles, got it. Thanks flip, but whos mason....hahahaha


#14

everything is more sinister in a cape


#15

Jaycuts I cannot BELIEVE you are not using that solid gold I gave you

I am so disappointed


#16

I really hope someone makes that, pure genius mate!


#17

RDS- you are the man! that shit is epic!


#18

You may be a brilliant novelist with way too much time on your hands if.....


#19

heh, thanks guys, and yes I do have way too much time on my hands


#20

Go to YouTube and contact ''steroidsr4losers'', though I doubt he can beat RDS' tale