T Nation

Ideal Ghetto Politician


If you were a politician in the ghetto, what would you have to do to get ahead?

(1) You'd have to mix in with the people...go to their churches...chant hatred of those who're better off...

(2) You'd have to then promise revenge on those who're better off. Uneducated illiterates believe that they somehow got cheated in life and that anyone who has something somehow stole it from the poor!! You'd have to promise to 'spread the wealth'.

(3) You'd have to scam the system for the alleged benefit of the ghetto dwellers, but of course get most of the money funneled to your secret backers (just be careful and don't live next door to them!).

(4) You'd get good at exacting the revenge through programs (like the Great Society) that are supposed to help the poor but really harm them. That way, the fools become dependent on you forever!

I'm sure there's some I missed. Ideas, anyone else?


Racist. Admit it, you just don't like Obama because he's black!

You're just scared of a hot sexy black man as president! HA! What happened whitey? Did Tyrone run into your old lady while you were at work! HA! No wonder you hate blacks!

I can't wait to rub this election in all your racist, white trash, hickbilly faces! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!


You have to make it seem like those who oppose your ideas really hate your physical traits.


You'd have to be Barrack Hussien Obama.


Yeah you know, spread the wealth around, even for those who didnt earn it.


Don't mean to offend anyone, except Skaz.


I like this.....


I love it when white people express opinions over the interwebz they would never say to my face. Have to love online anonymity. Before you say it I know you say such heinous thing to my face tiger. Calm down.


Larry Sinclair wasn't. So what's your point?


This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.




This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


Where the hell do get all those mock motivational posters?


Oppressive regimes are always built on the backs of the poor. Lenin knew, Hitler knew it, Castro knows it Chavez knows it and Obama knows it. Give poor people hand outs and most of them will vote for you. It's quite simple really, tell poor people they've been wronged and if they vote for you you'll take care of them, it works every time.


Before you became the ideal ghetto candidate, you would have to find the people in the ghetto that vote.

This could be tricky.


Those are some good ideas HeadHunter. A few things you definitely wouldn't want to see though in a ghetto politician:

1) Wouldn't want to have the guy graduate from Harvard law magna cum laude. That would make him seem uppity and too out of touch with the poor ghetto people.

2) Wouldn't want him to speak like the white man. Ebonics is a proud cultural tradition.

3) Wouldn't want him to have experience living in other countries. That would make it seem like he's too worldly and knowledgeable, which once again is contrary to the rap, hoes, and money ghetto culture.

Some thoughts on the ideal redneck candidate:

1) Old white guy. Because he's one of us, right?

2) Graduate near the bottom of your class. Let's everyone know you're no better than them. People out in the country want to know they've got 'one of them' running the show, not someone who's smarter than everyone else.

3) Leave your wife for a girl 15-20 years younger than you. Lets everyone know you're good with the ladies.

4) Be a combat veteran. Cuz he's probably good at huntin' and fishin', right?


Damn right! Kill Whitey, beeeotch!




If I were a ghetto politician, I'd stoke my supporters into a kind of irrational frenzied hatred for anyone who refuses to worship at my altar.

Obama Supporter Assaults McCain Volunteer in Manhattan

...the victim was a small, quiet, middle-aged woman wearing glasses, and the attacker was a loud, angry man who went into orbit at the mere sight of McCain campaign signs.



Don't forget that if the candidate is Harvard-educated, he then: (1) knows that Socialism is a failed system and should know better than to foist THAT on a country, and (2) he probably accepted and refined the hypocrisy of the elite upper-class, who secretly despise the honest and the just.

Those elites have empty dead souls who relish in death-worship ideologies, you know, like Socialism. They can't worship God anymore so they have to worship 'the masses'.