I’ve never used it. I am just saying very average girls with pretty average profiles get lots of attention. You did a lot of work on your photos, and did a lot of swiping / messaging, and you had good results, but I bet those average girls get more attention doing almost nothing.
I don’t blame the app at all. Just the reality. Women on a hook up site are going to get a lot of attention. There are significantly less women on it than men. If I ever find myself single, I’ll probably use it.
100% it’s easier for women. Their match rate is magnitudes higher than a man’s.
I was just commenting on my perception that alot of men blame the app for their lack of success, instead of taking it as a “reality” check. It made my dating life, as an introvert, one helluva lot easier, especially after moving to a new part of the country.
I def did not work hard on my photos haha. I didn’t work on the at all actually, just grabbed a few from the small amount I had on hand (no Facebook). I blindly swiped right, but didn’t do much messaging. Just asked them out as my first message. If they didn’t want to meet in person, they weren’t worth the time And moved on. Zero online “game”. It is what you make of it.
I think this is actually a really good strategy in a couple of ways. No wasting time, it shows confidence, and it weeds out attention seekers. Just my opinion.
For what Tinder is, you probably need to be okay looking as a guy to have much success as it is competitive. There will be handsome guys who also have good profiles. In most cases, for guys to get to this level, they probably need to lose weight, and not have terrible style.
So you’re saying that most attractive (inside and out) women are looking for a guy that is good looking, fit, has a successful career, is somewhat charming and does cool stuff in their free time? All things easily communicated (or not) by a tinder profile. Mind, blown.
And you’re also saying that guys are much more willing to lower standards and widen the pool of acceptability if the path to sex is perceived to be easier? Again, mind blown.
I think we are agreeing? I am not saying it is terrible, just way easier for a girl. I don’t think I would have issues if I gave it a try. Just mentioning some of the things that get brought up a lot about it by others (no first hand experience). I think if I were single, and using it, the dynamics of it would probably be in my favor since I take care of myself. It is shocking to see what average men of my age (34) look like haha.
And despite people saying it is a hook up app, I know two married couples who met using the app. There is some good with the app.
Get on the red pill
Not to suck yours either, but they probably don’t think you’re real.
Like, you’d probably have to use a pic of yourself holding a piece of paper saying “This is actually me, on tinder mm/dd/yy.”
Apparently there is a downside to looking like the French Superman. 
I’ve had this problem over the years when using dating sites. Having a ‘verified profile’ helped a little when that became a thing. But plenty of girls who I talked to on either bumble or tinder were skeptical about who I was right off the bat, and I’m positive plenty more swiped away from me just assuming I was a fake profile. I actually had a couple professional photos from contests and stuff on a profile back in the day, and I took those pictures down because they made me look ‘less real’ according to girls I talked to about it.
I’ve been on and off (currently off) tinder and bumble for years now. Basically since I got divorced in 2016. A few things of note: 1. Tinder is definitely a dating site, not just a hookup site. I’ve had many, many real dates through tinder, and have met very few girls just looking for a hookup. That ended up being pretty rare for me. 2. Men swipe right at a FAR higher rate than women do. I can’t remember the stats, but I think on average, most men swipe right on 90-95% of profiles, and women are the inverse (5-10%). Hence, women have far more ‘likes’ to go through than men do. Which means they essentially dictate whether or not matches happen, not men. Is what it is. Tinder also uses algorithms to prioritize how you show up on women’s feed. Things like having recently downloaded the app can affect how often you show up positively. So new users get more matches than older users. Which is why anyone looking for matches should regularly start over with their profile. At least once or twice a month.
Final note: Don’t make your first pic a shirtless pic. Period. No matter how great your body is, that’s not the first impression you want to make. A LOT of women will simply swipe left on shirtless pictures, no matter how good they are. It makes you look vain.
Also if you don’t pay. They hide you waaaaaaaayyyyy back in The cue
That’s not surprising either.
The same incredulity that men have when you see a total knock out on a dating site or what ever would apply to women too. Like “Him/her on a singles/dating site? No freakin way!”.
The last one I’ve seen was the old AFF/Alt sites back before I got engaged (2004,'05), so I’m wayyy out of the loop, but human nature is human nature. It’s the old “If it looks too good to be true” adage.
yea, tinder is maybe 50/50 fake profiles, honestly. At least it’s easy to spot, they all use a similar formula. 2-3 model pictures, a random quote (they have like 6 or 7 they rotate through for all their profiles they make), and generally something written with very, very poor grammar.
people who are too good looking come off as intimidating
Imo, western boxing is harder than most combat sports if you include hard sparring albeit the learning curve isn’t nearly as steep relative to say… Muay Thai, grappling sports etc. In Muay Thai if I’m getting tired I can use a teep/push kick to keep my distance. In boxing style sparring if I’m getting tired I’m going to have the crap beaten out of me because I’ve let my guard down unless the other partner is tired. You can’t clinch per se, but you’ll frequently see boxers start to “hug” each other in the ring if they’re really gassed.
Interesting conversation about dating apps. About 8 years I had absolute shit luck with dating apps. I was on for 3 months, maybe went on 3 dates who looked nothing like their profile, and called it quits. I was swiping right on probably 80% of profiles.
This past month I’ve returned and primarily use Hinge. Only this time I swipe right on probably 2% of the profiles…only the ones who’s profile make me say “damn, I have to meet her.” Lo and behold I’m getting more matches than I can keep up with and typically from Thurs through Sat I’ll go on 4-5 different dates. I’m pretty convinced from this and also talking to tech guys in my office that the algo actually rewards being highly selective. Swiping yes on all the profiles will make your profile practically invisible as the app doesn’t want users that don’t seem to be taking the process seriously. Just my 2 cents. I encourage all my male friends now to be more selective.
I disagree. They don’t come off as anything but that which they choose to present. Being intimidated is a choice of the observer–one that typically stems from their own insecurity.
That’d be hilarious, and would maybe give a swipe
Good point.
Let me rephrase, many perceive highly attractive ppl as intimidating to date
Are there any keepers amongst all these dates, like wife material?
Exactly!
Same for me friend. I don’t want to waste my time or the girl’s time with useless matches. Filter? Nope. No body shot? Nope. Kids? Nope. etc etc
Yeah honestly it’s a LOT of practice… Especially the guard part like you said. I have done some wrestling as well
Let’s not exagerate I’m not model level
The free experience is so bad for males that it doesn’t make me want to pay honestly lol it’s like 45 € for the platinum (so it would be like 100$ for you guys)
Yeah I would agree, especially if you want something more serious.
My first match and only serious “date” from there actually thought this. She said she was apparently catfished one time by a guy lol.
Oh yeah man I’m listening often to Better Bachelor, Richard Cooper, sometimes Rollo Tomassi. Still want to interact with women, just keeping perspective in head, not putting them on pedestal, know how they operate, and to keep myself in the center of my priorities.
Yeah I have some nice photos actually. These are the ones I put
Yes that’s why I installed it a couple weeks ago. People I knew had nice things. I figured why not, it’s just a tool and a bonus to meeting girls IRL and such
Got one hook-up I think a few days after I installed it first in september. Girl was really high on both ends of the crazy/hot matrix, but anyway it just confirmed and hookups aren’t my cup of tea
I think it just boils down to self-confidence. I still have more work to do about it, as well as my game. My online game is horrible. I’m not bad IRL, but I am still very oblivious when a girl likes me. Like VERY. I never notice when they check me out or something and my friend then tell me ahah.
Your body is.
A lot of women, even otherwise confident and attractive ones, are a bit insecure about how they look
Some might also be afraid that you’ll not stick around or will get attention from more attractive women
