I’m not even embarrassed to bring up this topic. lol. I grew up with a mental illness, so whatever embarrassing thing you’ve experienced in your life, I’ve experienced ten times worse. And this may be common-sensical to lots of you here who are very experienced with women, but to me this is big. It is the idea that what you read in books is likely bullshit, and that the only way to learn about women is to interact with women. Now, I spent a ton of time perfecting the first impression phase when it comes to girls, and I tell ya, I’m pretty good at it. I sweep them off their feet. But that’s the extent of what I can do. They leave when they learn more about me, or they end up deeply loving me as a harmless FRIEND. In all my life, despite getting laid a bunch of times, I’ve never been able to truly get into a truly serious romantic relationship. And a huge reason why I’m good at the first impression phase… is because I read books about it. But after that initial “fantasy” in their heads, once reality sets in, they just see me as just another guy with a weird streak. Someone with bravado and theatricality, but no substance.
I used to frequent forums that addressed this very issue of picking up chicks. And like any environment, online or real, it is a cultural melting pot. There are guys who have never had issues with women and just go there to give their honest advice, there are guys who despite being fortunate in other aspects of their lives end up going there because they are just so ridiculously socially inept, and there are guys who go there simply because they think it’s fun and would rather do it than learning some other hobby. But as I’ve learned, it’s not the place for me. I am a philosopher first and foremost. It’s what I’m in this world for. And I’ve come to conclude, based on my studies and experience, that people in fact have free-will. There is no algorithm that will make a woman fall for you because women and people have free-will. And the dudes who hang out at those places seem to be convinced that women are mechanical computers requiring a password to get inside their pants. And that’s why I wanted to present this topic HERE in T-Nation, with people with lives. That’s not flattery, it’s sincere. Some of the nicest and most genuine people I’ve ever met almost always belong in the gym. Not a dojo, not a nightclub, not an Ivy League University, not a shelter, not a concert, not a workplace and not an MMORPG. Rather, THE WEIGHT ROOM. THE GYM.
I think it’s about time I show this vulnerable aspect of myself and really just… Ask for honest advice. How do I get a girlfriend? Not how to get laid, but to be with a woman who genuinely wants to take me seriously as a partner. Not a marriage prospect, mind you, but simply in a committed relationship. I’m twenty-nine years old and have no more time to have frivolous sexual encounters. I want a woman with good genes who will give me a son. A son who will succeed at things where I failed at.
So how do I go about this? I’m open to short straightforward advice, lengthy detailed advice, or even book recommendations.
I have some prospects in the gym. Two super hot girls. I’ve talked to them already and I’ll likely see them again. One of them I’ve seen thrice, the other twice. And bro, they are insanely hot. For some reason they’re friendly to me. In fact, for some reason, hot girls are friendly to me even though I’m way out of their league. But with my physical fitness improving and my revitalized ambitions of having a career through going back to college, these hot women are getting closer and closer to my grasp.
And I’m used to getting heart-broken anyway. lmao. Last time, I had a friends with benefits whom I ended up falling in love with. She didn’t want me for anything other than casual hangouts and casual sex, but I wanted more. She took me off of her social circle and I was depressed for a week. After a week, I was back to normal sanity. So yeah, I’m used to feeling those feelings. Right now, I just want a girlfriend who’d take me seriously and make a baby with me when (if) I get solid on my work life.
If all this sounds bizarre, just mock me. I’ll learn another lesson in life to keep certain things to myself.
Also… I only want hot girls. Because if I end up with a not-so-hot girl, I’ll definitely replace her if a hot girl falls for me. I don’t wanna be that guy, so I may as well go for the kind of girl I truly want in the first place.
Thanks. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.