I celebrated my 36th birthday last week by taking a mandatory annual physical given by a local hospital at our fire department. There was the usual endless paperwork to be filled out, a stress test, blood work, etc.
One packet of information was exercise/lifestyle related. I’ll paraphrase it for you:
How many times a week do you perform 30 minutes or more of the following exercises?
I checked- NONE
Later on, another section asked ‘‘what exercises would you be interested in participating in’’ (check all that apply):
I repeated my vote for- NONE
A few EKG leads were slapped onto me and I was pedaling away on a stationary bike for my stress test. Because nothing simulates the general physical fitness needed to enter a burning building with 80 lbs + of gear carrying a hose like jamming a plastic bicycle seat up your ass for 10 minutes.
I pedal and pedal and my heart rate makes huge leaps from 68 bpm to 74 bpm. Finally they crank the thing up Armstrong mode and I reach the 160 mark, ending the longest stretch of steady-state non-GPP cardio I’ve done in over a year.
Next it’s off to blood draws, where I have no doubt I’ll learn some more circa-1980’s info like my cholesterol OMG CHOLESTEROL RUNZ AWAY might be a touch too high or some other useless crap.
My ‘‘fitness test’’ was done with a turn-cough and a vision test. Looking over my paperwork the girl had read through my lifestyle section had marked something on the cover in red pen.
It’s bold script said ‘‘lifestyle/fitness recommendations:’’
Beneath it was checked:
3 x a week