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I Suck, But Want to Be Awesome. Irony.

I started a functional hypertrophy phase of training last week along with some hang cleans. I haven’t gotten better at all.

Significant decrease in broad jump performance. I hit a little over 10’ yesterday. Today I was only able to get 9’10". This could mean so many different things. Could mean I’m cut off. Could mean I’m overtraining. Could mean things I can’t even think of. Welp, no more performance gains for me. I’ll be lucky to maintain what I’ve got.

I can’t write complete sentences anymore. I’m retarded now.

Welp, I’ve got the green apple splatters. I guess that’s what I get for associating with the brown disaster. I went on a date with a girl that had the last name brown. That was a disaster. It was the brown disaster. Welp, no progress for me this training cycle because I got sick and missed a session. I kind of want to go lift weights anyways, but I’m afraid I’ll shit myself when I strain during front squats. Dammit man. I really wanted to have a solid meso cycle this go around.

I guess this will give me time to recover. I’ll make sure that when I come back that I don’t over do it with power cleans. I’ll go until the movement starts to feel hard and stop the first rep my technique breaks down. I did the 5x5 last week on friday and kept going for three more sets even though I was catching the bar with my elbows down.

phase one of broke back hypertrophy. I hurt my back so I’m broke back right now. I can’t do deadlifts or back squats. this workout has elements from Boyd Eply’s complete conditioning for football, The Maximum Strength Program, Enter the Kettlebell, and Mike Boyle. If you want to train around back pain it’s the way to go. The step up has a KB in one arm over the weighted leg. My balances in the step up isn’t good enough yet do put the KB over the non working leg. I’ve been using a 15 in box for the step up.

The hip flexion is on a cable stack with a leg cuff. I’ve been doing 2 sets of 20 for hip flexion and step ups. I’ve been using a 65lb KB for the kb swings. My hang clean max is 285. last time I maxed on front squat I hit 315. I’ve been doing the front box squat starting at 265 and working my way up.

I’m trying to improve my 40 yard dash and broad jump.

Make sure your hips are level before starting a program. If they aren’t I’d highly suggest buying gravity boots or an inversion table. I had that problem and inversion fixed it for me.

I used to obsess over how screwed up the muscle imbalance of my spinal erectors was. It effected my self esteem and my self image. I felt like a genetic screw up and inferior. They are by no means perfectly symmetrical now, but the erector spinae are a hell of a lot closer in size than before inversion and if I could get lean I’d say I’m well on my way to a six pack.

Before I used gravity boots the lowest node on the left side of my rectus abdominus was iddy bitty. It obviously wasn’t in the game when called upon for its required functions. My right spinal erector was also shut off and not performing in its functions. If you put your hands on your spinal erectors and take a few steps. You should have a nice contraction contralateral to the leg weight is on. In addition to those things I’d say I had some kind of chronically shortened psoas which caused my right hip to be lower than the left. So part of my abs were shut off, my right spinal erector was shut off and my hips weren’t level.

The medical system blew off my problem. I didn’t have the money for elite training. I felt like I was screwed for life. There was no way to fix my problems. It was depressed about having to look inferior for the rest of my life and seriously thought about killing myself.

After inversion the formerly inactive node of my rectus abdominus had doubled in size, the muscle imbalance of my spinal erectors had evened out some and my hips had gotten as close to level as an imperfect body would allow.

For $100 I fixed a problem most physical therapists would blow off and say “everyone has some asymmetry” to. I’d have to pay $400 a month to get someone like Mike Robertson to figure out the problem and fix it. It might get fixed that way, but I doubt it’d be fixed as fast as inversion would fix it. Now don’t get me wrong elite training is probably awesome and the results amazing. I’m not a millionaire though so I don’t have the money for that shit. I have to pay for stuff to make my life go around like food, rent, car payments and insurance.

Inversion is the poor man’s answer to muscle imbalance in the hips, low back and abs. It’s cheaper than physical therapy or expert training and more convenient, whether or not it’s more effective I don’t know. I’ve never had enough money to pay for expert training or enough PT to fix my problems.

All I know is inversion was effective for the problems I had. If you have enough awareness and low enough self esteem to see your flaws then inversion will keep you from having to get the cumbersome medical system involved for something it would blow off as insignificant.

You can invert after every workout as a prehab measure. I didn’t have any idea how long to invert, but my back hurt so I spent 10 minutes a day hanging upside down. As far as how long to hang upside down is up to you. A little bit every day is probably best. For the first 10 sessions spend 5 minutes at the most. If you move twist and do crunches it will speed the process. I’m at the point where the ligaments in my spine have gotten stretched out enough that the time it takes to do 50 inverted crunches and 10 inverted squats a day is all the inversion I need. Anymore than that and it makes my back hurt. If I can tell you one thing about inversion don’t overdo it.

If you have a back injury from shear or axial loading a physical therapist will likely put you on a table with a belt around your pelvis and something holding your shoulders in place to decompress your spine. Inversion is the same idea, but a little more extreme.

I use gravity boots right in my commercial gym. People look at me funny, but so far it’s been the only thing that has made my back healthy again.

I’m no expert. I’m just going from personal experience. So far inversion has been great-knock on wood. I highly recommend it for anyone that has some mucle imbalance in the hips, spinal erectors, and abs-like me- wants to lift heavy or do explosive movements.

I’d also like to thank Biotest for letting me spew the garbage from my brain without assassinating me in my sleep. If you’re going to lift weights buy some of Biotest’s creatine monoydrate and Surge.

If you’re trying to improve your sprint times another thing I like to do is the dynamic front split on a total gym. The value of the total gym has been debated thoroughly, but for my purposes it serves me well. I don’t think anything can increase the dynamic flexibility of the hamstrings like the dynamic front split. You can’t do it every day of the year like you would in a warm up because you will develop IT band issues-I did anyway. I would suggest waiting until a week or two before competition. Do the dynamic front split every day the week for 2x10/side and then the day of competition do a 2x10/side in the morning. Train hip flexor mobilizations the same way as the dynamic front split.

I suppose I could go in and do the step ups, hip flexion and KB swings today even though I’m not feeling well. I wouldn’t be straining too badly there. At least I’d get something in for a hypertrophy stimulus.

Could you explain what (4x10sx2)x4 means?

That’s a little more complicated than your average rep/set scheme lol.

[quote]csulli wrote:
Could you explain what (4x10sx2)x4 means?

That’s a little more complicated than your average rep/set scheme lol.[/quote]

I didn’t know how to denote it. I should have put (4 rest 10s 2 reps)x4. That wouldn’t fit in the spreadsheet cell though. do four reps rack the weight for 10-30 seconds and do 2 more reps. Use 5rm or so. It was in an article by lee boyce about extended sets for hypertrophy a few weeks ago.

fuck it. I’m going to go lift today all out. I can wear compression shorts. If I shit. No one will know unless I sit down.

for front squat I the first 2 sets were at 265, the next 2 were at 275 and the final 2 were at 280. I would say I had another set left in the tank.

I did the full workout with addition of isometric hip extensions and the exception of doing 3x5 of kettlebell swings instead of 3x20. I did not shit myself. It was a tough workout though. Hopefully it will pay off.

when the weight gets heavy in the front squat I have a hard time keeping my shins vertical. I tend to get my knees out over my toes. That’s a no-no. It’s hard to maintain perfect form when the weight get heavy. I guess I need to check my ego at the door and lower the weight before I have a serious knee injury.

My T-spine doesn’t hurt though so I must have done a better job of keeping my upper back straight through the front squat. I’ll get better.

I think for week three I’m going to increase the weight for the first 4-5 sets. start at 275 then go 280, 285, 290 and maybe 295. I think hitting 290 depends if I’m able to sit back and stay behind my toes at 285. If that’s not going to happen the sets will look like this: 275 285 285 265 265 265 265 265. I mean that’s a shit load of volume to hit 285 with. IF I’m going to do it it will have to be early in the workout when I can maintain good form.

quads are a little sore. That’s a good thing. Means I did something worth noting. Glutes are a little sore on contraction. I was doing 3 sets of 10 second isometric hip extensions with 30 seconds rest per side doing all the sets on one side and then the other.

This is what I plan on doing for the following 4 weeks after this cycle is finished given that I somehow don’t hurt myself.

I guess injury happens when you take programming into your own hands. As Kim Jong Ill in team americal world for police would say it’s Ine-ine-inevitable. All I do is front squats. That’s going to take a toll on my knees if I keep doing them poorly. I want to have good form with heavy weights.

I always break form right at the bottom of the front squat. So what happens is I end up lowering the weight really slowly to keep from rounding out the T-spine when I reverse the path of the bar in the whole. When the weight gets heavy I need to keep this in mind: just sit back.

I feel like my back isn’t strong enough to maintain a straight spine while I sit back in the front squat. They say that your back is the limiting factor when you back squat. I think the same goes for front squat, maybe more so.

I’m going to shoot for 285 next week and hopefully I will be able to maintain my form if not it’s back to square one. Maybe I can only get 275 for the specified reps with good form. It will come with time. Besides this is a functional hypertrophy phase anyways it’s more about volume and not missing reps than it is seeing how much with crappy form I can move. Besides, if I get injured then there’s no point to anything. If I hurt myself I’ve taken one step forward and regressed to the stone age. Last time I got hurt it put me out for 6 months. You’d think I’d learn and check my ego at the door. I’m better about checking the ego, but it’s still there. I still want to try to lift the most in the gym.

If I’m cautious and never “max max out” then I should be able to progress slowly and steadily. Slow and steady progression is better than progressing quickly for a short period of time, getting injured and then regressing to back where you were before you started lifting.

Maybe I need to start doing kroc rows for the upper back. They’re supposed to make your upper back beastly.

I don’t know if you can call what I did kroc rows. I did some dumbell rows though. I used a 100 lb dumbell. first set I got 13 reps, second set 11 and third set 10. I’ll stick with 100 lbs and keep trying to increase the reps each week. I won’t move up in weight until I hit 20 reps for all 3 sets.

I feel hot. Someone must have slipped me some estrogen.

I must have low T. I don’t ejaculate anymore when I have orgasms. Whether I ejaculate or not is controlled by remote. I don’t know who has it or why.

What the fuck is going on in this log??? Hahahahahaahah

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
What the fuck is going on in this log??? Hahahahahaahah[/quote]

It’s my life man, as inane as it sounds.

[quote]darkhorse1-1 wrote:
I must have low T. I don’t ejaculate anymore when I have orgasms. Whether I ejaculate or not is controlled by remote. I don’t know who has it or why.[/quote]

Haha, I was referring to this. Just random to me.

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
What the fuck is going on in this log??? Hahahahahaahah[/quote]

who the fuck cares? no one reads this shit anyway. Training is part of my life and life is part of my training(for now until I hurt myself so bad I can’t do it anymore). They are one in the same. My training log is as much about what I do in the gym as it is the ramblings of a schizophrenic.

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]darkhorse1-1 wrote:
I must have low T. I don’t ejaculate anymore when I have orgasms. Whether I ejaculate or not is controlled by remote. I don’t know who has it or why.[/quote]

Haha, I was referring to this. Just random to me.[/quote]

My mind is random. I get a thought and I just need to write it down. When I die the PhDs in charge of this little experiment I call my life can look back on all the crazy shit I wrote on tnation and social networking sites. They’ll say, “Yup, this kid was no fool. He suspected it the whole time. Good thing he’ll never know the truth.”

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]darkhorse1-1 wrote:
I must have low T. I don’t ejaculate anymore when I have orgasms. Whether I ejaculate or not is controlled by remote. I don’t know who has it or why.[/quote]

Haha, I was referring to this. Just random to me.[/quote]

You act like you don’t think remote control ejaculation is a novel idea?