has anyone ever felt like they messed up so bad that their life as they know it is over? i'm not talking like drunk driving bad, more like completely and utterly embarrassing yourself and having it filmed and viewed by lots of people bad. like potentially destroyed relationships bad.
this recently happened to me. i'm trying to get over it and live my life the way i did before but it's consuming my thoughts and affecting everything i do. i'm mainly trying to just focus on the few people i care about most but this is really bothering me.
drugs and alcohol were instrumental in this debacle, if that wasn't apparent. corrective changes have been made.
i'm just looking for some support, come on i know i'm not the first one to fuck up like this.
i got blasted off my ass on rum, did X at the end of the night so when i should've been passed out in my bed i was still up looking to party. i left the party i was at, wandered over to another one where some of my friends were. went outside to take a piss, wound up going inside the house next door (i guess i saw some people outside and started a conversation-not sure). i remember smoking something out of a hookah, it was either opium or hash (had never done either up to this point).
so at this point i'm blackout drunk, rolling and high as hell. i start going off on ridiculous tangents, i.e. jews controlling the media, comparing obama to hitler, 9/11 truth theories, personal information that i would never dream of sharing....basically anything you wouldn't want to say in the company of random people holding a camcorder.
i'm not positive on all that was said and done bc of the state i was in but i'm 90% positive that i agreed to hook up with some girl as long as the people there could film it. this would be bad enough if i was single, but i have an awesome girlfriend who i really don't want to hurt. after i realized how badly i fucked up i basically begged this house full of people to beat the shit out of me, which was of course taped.
Been there, man, done that. Drugs and alcohol, yeah. They'll mess you up. Stop doing them. See a therapist if you're depressed like that for more than a month or so. Talk to people. Lift iron. Set goals and accomplish them. Start small. Over time, the shame will pass and you'll be able to function properly.
yeah man same deal here. i went through a period of drugs and alcohol and getting fucked up all the time in college. there's plenty of things i wish i didn't do but at the same time, they made me who i am today. you'll be fine man. like someone said above, that shit will blow over. you got fucked up and made an ass of yourself, who cares?
on a serious note though.. dude, i know how u feel bro.. ive done some really stupid shit i regreted in my life! i had a pretty bad drinking/drug problem and would do shit i hated myself for all the time. at least ur admitting u fucked up and what u did wasnt cool. no matter how bad u fuck up, as long as u pick urself back up and make an effort and change whatever you need to to get ur life back on track people can be pretty forgiving and respect u for changing shit, especially people who love u.
i dont know how good ur relationship is with ur girl or what u did with that other girl on tape, but if she really loves u maybe she will stick by u if she sees u are changing and turning ur life around again. and if not, well dont worry ul meet someone else someday... i thank myself, and god everyday that i got in control of my life again.
i dont do any drugs anymore and i only drink moderately, i hardly ever get drunk anymore, and if i do its very mild and i can still control myself.. i tell ya man, it feels great waking up the next morning and being able to look back on the night as fun and safe etc. and not feeling like u wanna crawl into a hole and die... start making the changes u need to make, deal with the consequences of what u did and be a man... it might take time, but ul move past this...
and dude, u didnt ruin ur life! ur still alive, in one piece, ur not in jail... and as far as ur girl maybe leaving u goes.. uh, u married to her? got kids? there are guys that loose everything at an older age and which they will never be able to replace or build back up again like their job, pension, savings, wife, family.. fuck, then u got a problem.... be a man, get over it and learn from ur mistakes...
You didnt ruin your life. A lot of people go through problems with drugs/drinking. I know I felt the same way, i passed up a 100% FREE ride (Tuition, Housing, Books) to Boston University. Why you may ask? Because i was doing drugs, and got kicked out of 3 High Schools, and dropped out. After i got off everything and turned my life around, i thought i ruined my life. Could i be making more money, and maybe have a better life if i went to BU? Sure. But i still make 50k a year + Bonus, Made friends at my current job i would never have made. Things will work themselves out, just learn from your mistakes.