i got blasted off my ass on rum, did X at the end of the night so when i should’ve been passed out in my bed i was still up looking to party. i left the party i was at, wandered over to another one where some of my friends were. went outside to take a piss, wound up going inside the house next door (i guess i saw some people outside and started a conversation-not sure). i remember smoking something out of a hookah, it was either opium or hash (had never done either up to this point). so at this point i’m blackout drunk, rolling and high as hell. i start going off on ridiculous tangents, i.e. jews controlling the media, comparing obama to hitler, 9/11 truth theories, personal information that i would never dream of sharing…basically anything you wouldn’t want to say in the company of random people holding a camcorder.
i’m not positive on all that was said and done bc of the state i was in but i’m 90% positive that i agreed to hook up with some girl as long as the people there could film it. this would be bad enough if i was single, but i have an awesome girlfriend who i really don’t want to hurt. after i realized how badly i fucked up i basically begged this house full of people to beat the shit out of me, which was of course taped.
sorry no pics[/quote]
on a serious note though… dude, i know how u feel bro… ive done some really stupid shit i regreted in my life! i had a pretty bad drinking/drug problem and would do shit i hated myself for all the time. at least ur admitting u fucked up and what u did wasnt cool. no matter how bad u fuck up, as long as u pick urself back up and make an effort and change whatever you need to to get ur life back on track people can be pretty forgiving and respect u for changing shit, especially people who love u.
i dont know how good ur relationship is with ur girl or what u did with that other girl on tape, but if she really loves u maybe she will stick by u if she sees u are changing and turning ur life around again. and if not, well dont worry ul meet someone else someday… i thank myself, and god everyday that i got in control of my life again.
i dont do any drugs anymore and i only drink moderately, i hardly ever get drunk anymore, and if i do its very mild and i can still control myself… i tell ya man, it feels great waking up the next morning and being able to look back on the night as fun and safe etc. and not feeling like u wanna crawl into a hole and die… start making the changes u need to make, deal with the consequences of what u did and be a man… it might take time, but ul move past this…