T Nation

I No Longer Believe In Evolution.


There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.


I agree...

Word around town is that Spider Monkeys are on his list...

Watch out Spidermonkeys!


Chuck Norris gave me the gift of beard.


You lucky guy you!


Chuck Norris created God.


After creating God, Chuck asked him to create a place where Chuck could relax and destroy living creatures at his leisure. God said this would take him at least two years to complete. After a series of roundhouse kicks, God revised the estimate to 6 days and created the world.


The seventh day wasnt a day of rest, it was Chuck by knock out. Who knows what else we missed out on if Chuck just chambered that kick for another day.


Mr T doesnt breathe air, it hides in his lungs for protection.

mr t seperated the letters mrt in the alphabet so children could learn to spell without fear. lool


The fastest way to man's heart is through Chuck Norris's fist.


Chuck Norris fixed my hernia.


Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he'll take yours too.

If you say "That's impossible, I've already lost my virginity", you are dead wrong.


Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.


These will never get old

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


God gave his only other son, named him chuck for mankind. He made chuck a karate expert, exercise enthusiast and a texas ranger. Chuck then went on to bust a bunch of perps for drugs and jaywalking but thats another story.


I could hit refresh for hours...



God is all seeing...The eyes of a ranger are upon you. Coincidence, I think not!


You and me both. Chuck Norris uses cocaine to powder his ass.


Chuck Norris's body is not made up of individual cells. Nobody knows what he's made up of because whenever a scientist tries to examine him Chuck roundhouse kicks him in the face so hard he ceases to exist. But the legend is that Chuck exists only out of pure awesomeness.


The milkshake doesn't bring Chuck Norris to the yard.


Chuck Norris once wanted to see what he would look like without a beard. He then split himself into two Chucks. He shaved the new Chuck Norris and called it Vin Diesel.