T Nation

I No Longer Believe In Evolution.


#1

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.


#2

I agree...

Word around town is that Spider Monkeys are on his list...

Watch out Spidermonkeys!


#3

Chuck Norris gave me the gift of beard.


#4

You lucky guy you!


#5

Chuck Norris created God.


#6

After creating God, Chuck asked him to create a place where Chuck could relax and destroy living creatures at his leisure. God said this would take him at least two years to complete. After a series of roundhouse kicks, God revised the estimate to 6 days and created the world.


#7

The seventh day wasnt a day of rest, it was Chuck by knock out. Who knows what else we missed out on if Chuck just chambered that kick for another day.


#8

Mr T doesnt breathe air, it hides in his lungs for protection.

mr t seperated the letters mrt in the alphabet so children could learn to spell without fear. lool


#9

The fastest way to man's heart is through Chuck Norris's fist.


#10

Chuck Norris fixed my hernia.


#11

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he'll take yours too.

If you say "That's impossible, I've already lost my virginity", you are dead wrong.


#12

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.


#13

These will never get old

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


#14

God gave his only other son, named him chuck for mankind. He made chuck a karate expert, exercise enthusiast and a texas ranger. Chuck then went on to bust a bunch of perps for drugs and jaywalking but thats another story.


#15

I could hit refresh for hours...

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/


#16

God is all seeing...The eyes of a ranger are upon you. Coincidence, I think not!


#17

You and me both. Chuck Norris uses cocaine to powder his ass.


#18

Chuck Norris's body is not made up of individual cells. Nobody knows what he's made up of because whenever a scientist tries to examine him Chuck roundhouse kicks him in the face so hard he ceases to exist. But the legend is that Chuck exists only out of pure awesomeness.


#19

The milkshake doesn't bring Chuck Norris to the yard.


#20

Chuck Norris once wanted to see what he would look like without a beard. He then split himself into two Chucks. He shaved the new Chuck Norris and called it Vin Diesel.