T Nation

I Need Help

I’m going to try and make this to the point. My sister has serious mental issues. She’s a pathological liar and kleptomaniac. She took a credit card I got when I was 18 (which was for my dad to use because he had bad credit and couldn’t get a card), and maxed it out. She’s tried to steal thousands from my dad. She got caught stealing a couple thousand from her friend, and my dad bailed her out. I came home for winter break and there are lots of things around the house that she has no reason to buy (lots of electronics). Today I found a few packages shipped to my mom (who is out of the country) and billed to my mom’s friend, who’s been coming here to help clean up, since my sister is a useless bitch. All this is complicated by the fact that my sister has a 1 year old kid now. I believe she’s been getting my dad to by things for her and she then takes them to the kid’s dad. I also think she steals for him.

My parents clearly have no idea what to do. She’s dragging all our lives down. I’m actually afraid of what she would do if she was kicked out or thrown in jail because she’s that unstable. She refuses to talk about anything that upsets her and basically feels she’s entitled to whatever she wants. I’m most concerned for the kid, though. I feel like he could actually have a happy childhood and become a good person, but not with the psychopath that is my sister.

I’m away at college. My mom used to work but has a broken back and has been staying at home for a couple years now. My dad is a consultant and works all over the place and comes home once every two months or so. My sister has been working for a temp agency, and she has been paying for the new car she bought, but nothing else as far as I can tell.

So there’s the important stuff. What should I do?

eek, good luck with this.

If she got caught for stealing and was bailed and then stole from the person who bailed her out she deserves to go to jail for a while there is no lesson to be learned without a consiquence

just my thoughts


n3wb

if your folks wont kick her lame ass out , your only recourse is to remove yourself from the scenario . if you cant do that , then you will have to get used to her stealing from you .

Punch her in the mouth.

You are not responsible for what crazy people do, or obligated to put up with it. Even if it’s your sister.

If financially able get her some help. If not kick her out. Now.

People with these problems feed off their family like a leech. You’ve got to cut off the food supply.

How old is your sis did you say? Also, is she living at home with your parents still or is she out on her own? Have you ever thought about calling social services for the welfare of the one year old?

I mostly think along the lines of all you guys. I even considered punching her the mouth once after she threw a phone at me (she also did that when I was 8 and actually hit me, almost taking out my eye). I’ll also add that she is on probation after she was caught stealing from her friend. So it’s absurd she’s doing what she’s doing. We even found a letter she forged in the name of my mom for one of my mom’s friends. It was asking the friend to come over and check on my sister and the baby. My dad figured it was so she could get her card information.

She seriously does need mental help, but I honestly feel like my dad shouldn’t waste any more money on her.

[quote]veruvius wrote:
So there’s the important stuff. What should I do?[/quote]

Shit in her skillet…then yell “UNCONVENTIONAL!” in her face.

damn man, good luck.

[quote]tpa wrote:
veruvius wrote:
So there’s the important stuff. What should I do?

Shit in her skillet…then yell “UNCONVENTIONAL!” in her face.[/quote]

OR

Rip a stop sign out of the ground (she won’t want to fuck with the most jacked guy at the party).

OR

Send her on a camping trip with Mitch.

No matter which course of action you choose, just be sure you have a male escort to get you to your car.

Well, shit just hit the fan guys. I woke up this morning to the sound of that bitch screaming on the phone. Apparently my mom’s friend found out my sister charged about $2000 to her account and she wants to press charges. So my sister decided to run away with the baby. She took her sweet time about it too, packing up everything. She also declared her desire to kill us all.

I’m really worried about the baby. He’s sick and she kept him out til 10 last night, and this morning she stuck him in the car without giving him a jacket or anythin and didn’t even start the car. I’m going to get my dad to change all the locks on the doors, because she will come back to steal shit. I honestly never want to see her again, but she’s a terrible mother and the kid is such a good baby…

[quote]lostinthought wrote:
How old is your sis did you say? Also, is she living at home with your parents still or is she out on her own? Have you ever thought about calling social services for the welfare of the one year old? [/quote]

She’s 26 and completely dependent on my dad. My mom has been taking care of the baby since he was born, but while she’s away he’s been in daycare. My mom would continue to take care of the baby. My sister never did anything, even when my mom could barely move because of her back, but there’s no way we would let him be put in foster care.

[quote]veruvius wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
She’s 26 and completely dependent on my dad. My mom has been taking care of the baby since he was born, but while she’s away he’s been in daycare. My mom would continue to take care of the baby. My sister never did anything, even when my mom could barely move because of her back, but there’s no way we would let him be put in foster care.[/quote]

Oh I’m not saying anything about putting any kid in foster care…But if social services can get involved, they can then get the courts involved, give custody of the one year old to your mom, (or other willing and appropriate family member) and the courts can order your sis into treatment.

[quote]lostinthought wrote:
Oh I’m not saying anything about putting any kid in foster care…But if social services can get involved, they can then get the courts involved, give custody of the one year old to your mom, (or other willing and appropriate family member) and the courts can order your sis into treatment. [/quote]

I definitely agree. Do it for the kid, man. He deserves not to be raised by a psycho.

Veruvius, keep us updated here. I know there are a lot of people here who do care.

[quote]ThatGirl77 wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
Oh I’m not saying anything about putting any kid in foster care…But if social services can get involved, they can then get the courts involved, give custody of the one year old to your mom, (or other willing and appropriate family member) and the courts can order your sis into treatment.

I definitely agree. Do it for the kid, man. He deserves not to be raised by a psycho.[/quote]

Me too man… And with her history I am sure ur dad and mom can win custody of the child. Plus ur not a dependent on ur dad & mom, so she can’t use that argument either.

By the way… Do you know who the father of the kid is???

[quote]NeoSpartan wrote:

By the way… Do you know who the father of the kid is???

[/quote]

Good question NeoSpartan. Maybe he could be part of the solution.

[quote]NeoSpartan wrote:
ThatGirl77 wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
Oh I’m not saying anything about putting any kid in foster care…But if social services can get involved, they can then get the courts involved, give custody of the one year old to your mom, (or other willing and appropriate family member) and the courts can order your sis into treatment.

I definitely agree. Do it for the kid, man. He deserves not to be raised by a psycho.

Me too man… And with her history I am sure ur dad and mom can win custody of the child. Plus ur not a dependent on ur dad & mom, so she can’t use that argument either.

By the way… Do you know who the father of the kid is???

[/quote]

That is a whole other story. I personally have never seen him and don’t know his name. There was a lot of drama with my sister letting him use her car, probably stealing things for him, and she’s even been taking the baby to see him. I don’t a damn thing about him, but as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t really exist outside of the trouble he’s caused. My dad and my parent’s friends have bought everything for that kid. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever met that guy…

Things have quieted down for me. My dad left last night to go back to his job, so I’m by myself. I can detach myself from things pretty easily too, so my mind is back to life as normal. We’re pretty convinced that she’ll be back, as she has no money (though she’ll probably start stealing from other people, if not from us again). I’m not sure what to do if she does come back.

My mom doesn’t even come back to the country until the 17th, though she’s trying to get an earlier flight, and I have to be back at school by then.

Yesterday, I walked into my parent’s room where the crib is and I saw my dad put a picture of the baby in the crib. There’ve only been two times in the last ten years where I’ve even had the urge to cry, and that was one of them. Thanks for the support everyone.

Veruvius, you’re right, she does need serious help and soon. I’m really sorry to hear that a child is caught in the middle of all this and I know that in despite the unconditional love in most families, everyone has their breaking point. Sounds to me like beyond the money and the lies, you’re all more hurt by the betrayal of trust and that you are a pretty solid family.

I don’t have any advice or insight, but just wanted to say that I hope (all things considered) you still are able to live your own life during all of this other stuff. Hope she realizes soon that she has a problem and that it doesn’t have to be this way for anyone. Best to you.