Ok, I'm in a bit of a strange mood and I normally don't broadcast this stuff over the internet but I just feel like ranting.
I have a very close circle of friends, it's always been that way. I've always got on well with people but I've always had one or two very close friends. Well in this post I want to talk about the two best friends I've ever had. I've known one since I was about 6(we'll call this guy J) but we didn't actually become good friends until I was about 13 but since then we've been best buds.
I made friends with the other(we'll call this guy T) guy when I was about 13 as well, but didn't get really friendly until the last few years. We both did our training in the military togther and went through the private rank and potential NCO's course together.
These guys are my brothers. I consider them my flesh and blood. I'd gladly take a bullet for them. And then get back up and take another one. And I know they would do the same.
While this may sound strange to some people I've just never really got on really well with my family. It's not that we don't get on, 'cos we do. But to be honest I feel like an outsider a lot of the time. I can't explain it, and it doesn't upset me or anything, I've just never been close to anyone in my family. But I always had friends I was very close to. My friends were always the family I chose for myself(in the spirit of the saying).
Well, after highschool(or our equivalent), everyone in our group went to do different things. A few went to university, a few went working straight away, and I went to a different college to everyone else for my course. I still saw everyone most of the time, it was just different to highschool.
Well, J and T's courses didn't work out for them. They really hated what they did and dropped out. Well, somewhere along the lines one of their parents suggested that they take a year out and go travelling across Europe as it would be a great experience and there are no job prospects here for a while.
It's definately the best choice for them. I know I would in that situation.
So what am I moaning about...?
Well, I just hate losing the two best friends I ever had. I mean, out of my group of friends, these are the guys I really bonded with.(no I don't have a case of teh ghey). We've been through all sorts of crap together and I've never hestitated to unload whatever may be burdoning me on them and vice-versa.
I've known that they were going for a long time now. I was never happy about seeing my two best friends going like this but I realise they can't stay around and do nothing. As I was driving home tonight it really hit me, however. And man did I feel like shit.
I know that friends come and go, but that doesn't make easier. I feel like I'm losing my brothers. It just crap. Maybe I just need a good girlfriend to distract me.
Has anyone ever been in a similiar situation...? I know I'll get over it and all that shit, but it's actually so hard to imagine that I could be such good friends with anyone else.
And I feel like I should repeat, I don't have teh ghey.
It just feels kinda shit