T Nation

I Just Need a Rant About Crap


#1

Ok, I'm in a bit of a strange mood and I normally don't broadcast this stuff over the internet but I just feel like ranting.

I have a very close circle of friends, it's always been that way. I've always got on well with people but I've always had one or two very close friends. Well in this post I want to talk about the two best friends I've ever had. I've known one since I was about 6(we'll call this guy J) but we didn't actually become good friends until I was about 13 but since then we've been best buds.
I made friends with the other(we'll call this guy T) guy when I was about 13 as well, but didn't get really friendly until the last few years. We both did our training in the military togther and went through the private rank and potential NCO's course together.

These guys are my brothers. I consider them my flesh and blood. I'd gladly take a bullet for them. And then get back up and take another one. And I know they would do the same.
While this may sound strange to some people I've just never really got on really well with my family. It's not that we don't get on, 'cos we do. But to be honest I feel like an outsider a lot of the time. I can't explain it, and it doesn't upset me or anything, I've just never been close to anyone in my family. But I always had friends I was very close to. My friends were always the family I chose for myself(in the spirit of the saying).

Well, after highschool(or our equivalent), everyone in our group went to do different things. A few went to university, a few went working straight away, and I went to a different college to everyone else for my course. I still saw everyone most of the time, it was just different to highschool.

Well, J and T's courses didn't work out for them. They really hated what they did and dropped out. Well, somewhere along the lines one of their parents suggested that they take a year out and go travelling across Europe as it would be a great experience and there are no job prospects here for a while.
It's definately the best choice for them. I know I would in that situation.

So what am I moaning about...?
Well, I just hate losing the two best friends I ever had. I mean, out of my group of friends, these are the guys I really bonded with.(no I don't have a case of teh ghey). We've been through all sorts of crap together and I've never hestitated to unload whatever may be burdoning me on them and vice-versa.

I've known that they were going for a long time now. I was never happy about seeing my two best friends going like this but I realise they can't stay around and do nothing. As I was driving home tonight it really hit me, however. And man did I feel like shit.

I know that friends come and go, but that doesn't make easier. I feel like I'm losing my brothers. It just crap. Maybe I just need a good girlfriend to distract me.

Has anyone ever been in a similiar situation...? I know I'll get over it and all that shit, but it's actually so hard to imagine that I could be such good friends with anyone else.

And I feel like I should repeat, I don't have teh ghey.
It just feels kinda shit


#2

That suck.
I had 2 good friend like that but they are slowly going away. The worst thing is that later in life you don't get to build relationship as strong as when you where in high school. Think about it: you spend 5years with the same people in high school. It doesnt happen anywhere else. Where I live you spend 2years in Cegep where you don't make much good friend (only circumstancial friends)
then it is 3 or 5 or 7 years university

So basically you are screwed.
The world is full of guys with little to no friends.


#3

Yeah dude losing close friends like that is never fun, it fucking sucks in any situation. But, like you say, you will get over it. This isn't an insult but get a gf if you dont have one, she'll take up most of your time anyways :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#4

Ha, no offence taken dude. It's probably about time I found a good 'ol ball and chain to heave around with me anyways.

It's not like I'll be left friendless either. I do have a good group of friends, it's just that since I now go to a different college to the rest of 'em it'll be fairly hard to keep contact. I used to go running 3 nights a week with one of the guys so I used to be be able to keep some contact with them that wasn't just drunken encounters on the weekend.

Yeah, I think I understans what you're saying jasmincar. Pretty shitty situation :frowning:


#5

You won't keep as many friends when you progress into your adult life, mainly because people move - whether it's to another part of the city or a completely different country. Situations and people change, you just get used to it, or make some tough choices along the way.

I left SA over 3 years ago now and have no intention of going back, but I'm not sure how long I'll be staying here either. I speak to one of my best friends in SA on a daily basis during the week, and funny enough we chat more than he does with any other friends back there.

It's part of growing up. One thing is for sure, I'd be dead lonely if it wasn't for my girlfriend that I met here and a few other friends.


#6

You're form America originally...?
Must've been strange uprooting like that...


#7

Haha, no - South Africa.


#8

I can understand your concern, but I think your true friends just don't go away and forget. I have had some amazing friends since junior high school, and we have been tight since. You fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us. We went on vacation together, saw some of them get married together, went to jail together (same cell and everything). Bonds that are tight like that are just breakable.


#9

Maybe I missed something...but who says they're lost forever?


#10

I certainly hope so.
Even when I was 13, my sister used to tell me that my teenage years were where I'd make my friends for life. And boy was she right.

Jesus it's wierd talking like this when I'm only 20. You'd swear I was being abandoned in a strange country.
Like was already said, I probably just need a gf to take all my time and money and make me feel better.
This is probably the kick I need to actually get one


#11

Yeah I know what you mean, it's only they've mentioned once or twice that if the venture is successful, they'll have no reason to return.


#12

Here is the test for friendship: you set your friends free and if they don't come back, then it wasn't meant to be.

And if you can't accept that, then you track them down and stalk them until you are either arrested or shot to death when you engage the cops in a gun battle when they try to take you into custody.

Or you can just listen to this song to cheer you up...

http://www.spike.com/video/friends-forever-zack/2711522


#13

I can't believe I just wasted my time reading that.


#14

I can't believe you sent even more time posting about wasting your time


#15

I'm in the same boat man. One of my two best friends left the other day. It still hasn't quite sunk in.

I'll be leaving my other best friend in about 2 weeks, and then he'll be off on his own thing as well.

But strong bonds bring people back again and again. You know you have a friend when you can be apart from each other for months and pick things right back up again.


#16

I'm not very close to my family either, so I fucking hate it when my best friends leave. We keep in contact though, and usually see eachother around holidays due to family being in the same areas. So it's not too bad. Shit does get pretty lonely at first though. You'll be fine.


#17

If you're brothers, seeing them be happy and succesful should be more important that physical presence. I already know me and my "family". The people who I feel the same way about as you do, and I are going sepereate ways after highschool. Are they always going to be my brothers? Hell fucking yeah. Can I see them all the time after senior year? Nope. But I have to live my own life, and so do they.


#18

Such a sad story... my vagina is surely weeping for you.