I just got my ass handed to me....

Mindset is important. Part of my duaghter’s required college classes was self defense. It was a good class with full contact practice with the instructor all suited up with pads.

I taught the kid a little about fighting and a lot about the mental end of it. The scenarios involved the instructor saying things and setting the scene. The kid said the hair went up on her neck and the fight was on. She dumped the guy in a hurry. The other girls were suprised at her ferocity. She explained to them that fighting isn’t a polite thing and if you can’t wrap your head around that idea you’re in deep shit in a fight.

Bedz,

And BTW, I’m a little 205lb guy too…

Much like Shugart though, I was 157 when I graduated from HS, and was very quick… but still a skinny little guy. You will never be massive like a 300 pounder… so don’t try to be.

Like in football, many times we recruit a lineman based on Mass and Girth. But, if I had to pick, I’d be built like an outside linebacker. Explosive power, but, if the lineman gets those meathooks on my breastplate, I will probably lose.

You must fight with your own strengths. This is one area where many singular styles fall flat on their face. That is why so many schools blend styles.

It is one of the biggest overlooked aspects of coaching and fighting. You have to design your scheme around your talent.

If I were to wrestle an all-american wrestler… I lose. If I were to straight up box a golden gloves champ, I lose…

So I learn my strengths, and learn my weaknesses… and figure out what I can do to be successful.

I have heard that Krav M can be pretty effective, and is spreading to quite a few places. Sounds like that guy has done some good Tony Blauer type training… good stuff. Mindset is huge.

Anyway, I will shut my cakehole for now. But, I hope you do at least look into the martial arts Bedz, it will change your whole outlook.

I will make the first suggestion for schools:

My favorite instructor (and there have been quite a few) was:

Ron Kosakowski (sp?) in Waterbury Connecticutt. His web-site is PSDTC.com
His place is called Practical Self Defense Training Center.

I am not promoting his stuff, and I don’t believe he sells any videos or anything… a huge mistake in my opinion. I am simply listing his site so if you are in the area, you can look him up. I used to drive down from Hartford four nights a week (45 mins away).

I haven’t been there in a couple years, but he really is a pretty bad dude, and a real guy. No arrogance, just real world stuff. I am in Indy now, but I wish I still lived out east just because of him… I literally learned every day.

Anyway, good luck Bedz.

Coach H
CSCS

Hey Wideguy, stay away from Steelys daughter!

Thanks for the words.

I remember reading a T-Mag article regarding the average guy. One of the things that an average guy should do was to get into a real fight. That one always stood out for me as I’ve never thrown a real punch. I think last night that article might have popped into my head and helped to escalate the situation. But, now I can check one more off my list. Plus, God damn was it an eye opening experience. So fast, so raw…to be honest mildly addicting but not something I want to do again anytime soon. I prefer to battle it out with the squat rack.

I think situational awareness was the thing that I lacked last night. I had no real logical thought until I was on the ground. All the recommendations about a quick jab or hit but I don’t think I would have been quick enough. But, I guess that will change with experience…not that I want to gain any real street fightin’ time.

In regards to learning to grabble or pursuing some form of MA, I’m going to. Called around today but most of the places were closed.

I don’t go looking for fights, never have. I’ll go home with your girlfriend but will usually walk away before the situation get out of hand. Last night was defense mode, not attack mode. I live in a yuppier college town. This is the first fight I’ve actually really witness and unforunately was also the victim. And that is what really bothers me is the lack of control that I had. The whole thing lasted less than a minute but I had no control over that brief little period. I was a little rag doll to these guys.

But again, thanks for the advice.

it really helps to know how to take a punch and keep your senses straight. i grew up getting the shit kicked out of me by 2 older brothers and have been in countless hockey fights over the last 12 years, many of which i got my ass handed to me, so i know what a skull rattling blow is. while i’ve never gotten in street fights, i’ve been in small scuffles at parties and the punches that hit me were nothing i haven’t already felt many times before, therefore it hurt me less

GFH

Lots of great advise and good to hear you have calmed down and you aren’t going to go out looking for these guys with a gun like many sissies would now a days.
When I was little I was the fat kid sticking up to the bullys in school for all of the little people. But, as time went on I got into MA and after 7 years between two diffrent cities and a few diffrent styles finally got my black belt. Since then I don’t recall getting into any real fights with anyone. Fighting sucks, it does nothing except hurts people and in America gets you sewed if you did the hurting.
And to all of you against Karate some one posted on the board that there are good and bad teachers in everything. Well that is true for all MA, any style of MA will be more than enough in most fights on the street as long as you find a good teacher. In many classes that I took we went full contact and no pads for the higher belts.
Like everyone else said sucks to get beat up but, maybe this will get you a little more motivation and some possible training in the future. When you do look for a school of any kind see if you can go to a class or 3 or atleast go watch a few diffrent schools and styles before you sign up any where. See what will fit you best and what is best as far as price. Good luck and keep your head up.

Just take Iron Maiden along with you.

You getting beaten up could actually be a positive thing in your life. You said you thought you were a “tough bastard”, now i dont know you but maybe you were acting like a little bit of a bad ass in the past and this could remedy your problem by giving you an attitude adjustment. I have been into a lot of fights, both as a bouncer and when i was in college. I am a big guy 6’3, and over 270lbs and i have always found it is the smaller guys that give me the biggest attitude and cause more problems. The big guys tend to be more laid back. It is the guys smaller than me who often talk the most shit, try to push me etc and then are suprised when i beat the hell out of them for it. You know why? Because they thought they were tough and they had never even been in a fight before. Like i said, i dont know you, i dont know why this happened and i dont know how you behave when you are out. Just remember, everyone loses a fight from time to time and its not a big deal, there is always someone out there who is badder than you. And trust me size only means so much in a fight. Also, if you mean business, dont talk shit, dont push, just swing and get the job done.

yo Bedz,

Your size or bench pressing strength probably had little to do with your beating!! I am long time parctioner of Muay thai (6 years) and a recent practioner of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu (1 year), and have to tell you that size and strength often do not affect ones fighting ability. There are plenty of 135 lbs thai fighters in Bangkok that would simply hospitilize in less than 1 minute ( no offense, you are not a fighter but a weightlifter). And no Muay thai is not some fancy useless asian martial arts. It is actually the toughest stand up fighting sport on the planet where you can be hit with fists, feet, shin bones, knees and elbows ( plus clinching combined with knee and elbow strikes are an integral part of thai fighting). And we also sparr hard every day where we get hit very hard , very often. Or there are plenty of guys in jiu-jitsu that could also weigh as little as 135lbs and still break one of your arms with the ease of a 5 year old. Again this is not to get down on you, but it is reality. It is right what one other guy said above about getting used to fighting. If you arent born with a fighters instinct, you will have to train in some sort of functional fighting sport. ANd as a matter of fact you will have to probably do more than just one. My point is if you only do jiu-jitsu or wrestling there is chance will be ko,d on your feet by a superior striker. If you only train boxing or muaythai, there is a chance that a good grappler will take you to the ground maul you from there. Fighting is a 3 dimensional thing. Ground fighting, clinch fighting and stand up fighting are all completely different!!! So with that being said it was not your lack of strength or size that ended up in your defeat, but it was a lack of experience and skill!!!

i echo what all these other guys have said. no reason to get down on yourself. and stay away from trouble if at all possible.

as far as ground fighting goes, i have lots of experience being a wrestler in high school and for a bit of college. i have some boxing experience as well so i’ve been able to handle myself (mostly breaking fights up which sucks by the way). fortunately trouble doesn’t come to me and i happen to not rub people the wrong way i suppose. but there have been two times that i got “beat” outside of the mat. once when i was 12, but that didn’t count because the kid sucker punched me at a pool and i was wearing goggles, so the lens stuck in my eye and i was helpless. the second was a couple years back. my roomates always wrestled around and stuff and i always won with the exception of a 6’3" 280 guy that i had some trouble with. as i got stronger, i could come closer to a pin…but one day they all three decided to attack me and it was just the wrong time to pull me off the couch. i’m embarassed to say that i let my temper go (highly uncharacteristic) and by the time i had sent one through the coffee table and the other into the wall, it was just me and the big guy. he had his trunks wrapped around me and it was all i could do to get out of that and to a knee. i think i ran a half on him and i don’t remember clearly but i thought i could keep him grounded and be ok. big mistake. i took an elbow to the nose and orbit and i was on the ground again and he scissored me…again but this time i was done. needless to say this kid has a rage problem when he fights so i was fortunate to walk away with that. and hell these are my best friends.

you did the right thing. you did what you had to do to survive. if you can’t find good environment to train in and you still want to do something, wrestle your friends. maybe they’ll be nice and won’t hurt you.

BEDz - I hope you A) realize how lucky you are to have avoided any serious injuries and B) learn from this.

I had a similar thing happen to me when I was 19. I was drunk as a skunk at a New Year’s Eve party in which I didn’t know anybody other than one of my female friends that I went with. Apparently I was out of control and falling all over a few girls. A few guys were in my face, and being the tough guy that I was, I just started swinging. I only remember flashes of what happened next, most likely because I was beaten unconscious by a mob of about 20 people who all went to high school together and were looking for an excuse to stomp someone they didn’t know. I regained consciousness a few times and went back into the party to retaliate, only to have the same thing happen about 3 times. I remember getting an uppercut on the front porch and falling backwards over the railing onto my head. Since I was so drunk I didn’t even realize how badly I was injured and I kept going back for more. The next morning was the most pain I’ve ever experienced. My entire head was covered with lumps and cuts, and one of my incisors went through my lip. The worst part about it was that all of my boys who could fight were out of town for the holidays. Being totally on your own and powerless is a humbling experience.

Your story sounds similar to mine, except I thought I was a tough guy because I had been involved in a few rumbles, skurmishes, and quick one-sided fights. I think that getting jumped actually made me more aware of the consequences of fighting, and because of that I try harder to avoid fights. There are circumstances, like Magnus said, that warrant fighting, especially when your loved ones are in danger. But getting in bar fights is stupid, dangerous, and you usually don’t even remember why it started. I’ve gotten guns and knives pulled on me in bars. People are out there walking around in fear, and they carry shanks, .22’s, tazers, knucks, etc. You never know who’s having a bad day and feels like he has nothing to lose.

All of the advice already given is good. The smart thing to do is to just walk away, but it sounds like you’re a hard-headed guy like me, so that’s not always gonna happen. Plus, like you’ve just learned, sometimes you’re already in the middle of a brawl before you even have a chance to think. It happens.

My advice to you would be to make an effort to avoid getting in fights. But once you know it’s on, don’t think and don’t hesitate. Take the first shot. As was previously stated, don’t just hit once and wait for him to hit you back. You have to exploit the fact that you have stunned him, and follow with a flurry of blows to the head, neck, gut, groin, and knees. In my experience, people instinctively try to grab the other person’s shirt or neck to fight like hockey players. You don’t want to wrestle or get put into a headlock, or get pinned to the ground, which is what sounds like happened to you.

When it comes to dealing w/that type of situation, you could take a martial arts class, but I learned some valuable things another way: if you know anybody who has been in prison, ask him to teach you some pressure points and submission holds. A former neighbor of mine, who goes about 5’6" 150 lbs, taught me how he fended off big gay bastards lusting after his cornhole in jail. This guy was a bad motherfucker by necessity and he could probably kick my ass if it ever got to that point. Maybe not an option or even a good idea to befriend an ex-con, but they can fight.

Bouncers are wankers with a chip the size of a potato on their shoulders.

Silverback, you’re the man. At the risk of being called a sick fuck, I LOVE fighting. I’m a tiny guy, 120 lbs at 5’8", but I get in plenty of fights with people in my school who talk alot of shit. I dont always win, but I dont get the hell beaten out of me either, because I’m scrappy and fierce, and that’s what you need to be as well. Fighting is as natural as sex in my opinion, and should not be stifles by society. Forget that advice about avoiding fights, and just do what you want to do.

Hey ThreePac: I agree that sometimes people deserve to get an ass-beating, and many people in society would be deterred from doing certain things if they knew things would be handled the old-fashioned way. It sounds like you’re in high school, though, and what you’re saying is good advice if you’re in high school.

If you’re an adult, you pay the price for kicking someone’s ass and it’s just not worth it. You can thank the lawyers for helping the same kinds of dickheads you’re having run-ins with in high school to sue people for giving them what they deserved - a beating. It sucks but it’s just the way it is, so you might as well learn to deal with these types of things in other ways. You gotta let shit roll off your back most of the time, reserving physical involvement for only the rare lack of alternatives.

The older you get, the more you realize the importance of self preservation and the fact that people want to bring you down.

Suck it up.

If you’re mentally tough, it’s OK to be the doormat every now and then. When you become the living room rug, it’s time to crank it up.

The likelihood of you meeting Joe MMA in the situation you described is slim. Unless you are being a complete pinhead, they will never show themselves. These guys have nothing to prove.

Read OGuard’s post again. There is some wisdom there.

The toughest guys I know never start fights, but finish the majority of them. Not all, mind you. If you want tp be a fighter, you better be OK with getting hit, and you better be willing to respond quickly with somthing that is debilitating and quite possibly life threatening. Are you this kind of person?

I have stood outside of bars watching a buddy of mine break limbs on “Johnny Toughguys” like he was planning a picnic. Never started a thing but absolutely ruthless once it was rolling. On a side note, he has grown up to be one of the best husbands and fathers out there.

Ignore the guys out looking for it. Beware of the guy minding his own business. Just a tidbit of advice. Best of luck to you.

Your lucky man you live in Iowa, lots of good MMA gyms there. Get some quality training under your belt and you will be much more at ease. I’ve been taking Thai boxing and some wrestling for the last 8 months and feel well prepared for most situations. Good luck.

Maybe getting bigger or stronger or tougher is not what you really need. Last year I had had a bad run-in with a tow truck driver who towed my car away. I did’nt want to fight, but he held up a 2x4 and threatened to beat the shit out of me if I got any closer and all I was doing was asking him licely if he would’nt take my truck (tow away zone). He was trying to impress his girlfriend in the cab of the tow truck. That punk ass m’f er. any way, what I really needed was closure to the whole situation. Some really ball busting routines and time was what truley helped. I hope my expierience will help. It could make my whole incident seem like it had some meaning and that I learned from it.

wein,

At the very least I hope you learned not to park in a no parking zone!

"Bouncers are wankers with a chip the size of a potato on their shoulders. "

Sounds like someone’s misbehaved at the bar a few times.
I expect whatever you got, you deserved it.