being depressed sucks.
find a book called mind over mood, it has some activities you can do in it. one of them is a journal that documents your activities, recording how much enjoyment and level of mastery over them to get you back into the things you like to do.
x10 recommend therapist
talking things out helps, but they can recognize clinical depression and you may need meds to get you to the point that you can progress in therapy. then you have made the changes you need and can weak off the meds if you no longer need them, kind of a bridge if you will.
take it from someone who has been there and am a lifelong advocate for better living through chemistry.
also, use whatever is around you. if at school, go to a sporting event and feed off the positive energy. spend some time talking with friends, being social. going to the beach to soak up the positive ions is also a good thing. use the local church if you are so inclined.
of all the things you can control do them. That means enough sleep, eating properly, concentrating on doing well in school. If you dont feel like lifting go for a walk. it will clear your head, elevate your heartrate, get endorphins flowing, and will help you sleep better.
telling someone who is depressed to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps doesnt work. they cant. they are DEPRESSED.
Do what you can, and just make measureable progress
kind of like lifting isn’t it ?
My mother died suddenly of a heart attack in Nov 2008 and it took us all by great surprise. I was pretty much done with grieving ver quickly, and I know that it will affect me from time to time, but life goes on. It helps tremendously that I have a family and three kids, one toddler to look after and keep my attention. My brother took her death much harder and even still doesn’t seem himself.
Everyone’s different and handles things differently, my reaction was the complete opposite to your own. I decided to get serious about my own health. For too long I had been not working out or anything, let myself go but her passing was a wake up call that I really need to take better care of myself while I’m still relatively young. As a result I’ve lost 20 lbs of flab and gained alot of muscle and strength.
Some things to keep in mind:
Spending too much time alone will make things worse, try your best to stay very active socially with friends. It’s good that you’ve got a bud that’s going to lift with you. You should go to grief counseling, that should prove helpful. I believe that the best thing is to stay busy. Busy with school, gym, friends, family, faith, etc.
You should be careful since you’re by yourself, it’s vital that you remember to eat properly and take your vitamins because slacking in that regard will only make you feel crappier and make your depression worse.
Thanks everyone. I did burpees till I dropped. I lost count. Having a workout partner helped me stay motivated. But I won’t have a partner everyday… I’m thinking about posting up a workout log on here to help keep progress or something… I don’t know…
My health has always been important to me… I don’t want to let it go just because of what has happened. I need to start doing things that make me feel good and things that make me a better person… I felt great after todays workout. I’ve also met a new girl. She’s beautiful. Her birthday is tomorrow. Hopefully she’ll like her gift. =)
[quote]StrongSurvive wrote:
Hi everyone. I feel like I’ve lost who I was… Physically and mentally… 3 months ago my mother passed away, and it has been hell… And a month after that, my girlfriend, who I had grown dearly attached to left me… Spiritually I’ve felt apathetic? And on top of college this year… I just don’t feel like doing anything… I tried to workout yesterday…
I took some Surge Workout Fuel… I did one OH press… ONE… Then I laid down at 7:00 in the afternoon. And I didn’t rise this morning till 12:00… That’s 17 hours of sleep… I don’t know… I feel like a complete sloth… I don’t usually sleep that long… due to school… But apparently my body would if it had the choice everyday… I don’t know what to do.
It’s more than just weightlifting that I’m neglecting too… Homework… Relationships… And even personal hygiene seems to fade in the back of my mind as a “chore.” I don’t even feel like the same person I used to be…
[/quote]
Firstly, I’m deeply sorry for your recent loss. I could not imagine what life would be without my mother. I would seek out some sort of counseling or therapy in order to grieve your loss in guided fashion. It sounds like you’re depressed. Its not that you have no motivation but that the wind has been literally taken away from your sails mate. Stay strong and seek guidance. Cherish every memory you had with your mother. Remember her life and keep her in your heart and mind forever. As for your GF, there’s plenty of fish in the ocean. They are replaceable, your mother is not. You can’t lose hope. You can’t let this tragic chain of events derail you from normal social function. Stay strong.
It seems like your depression is purely situational, which is a good thing, relatively speaking. It means that all you need to do is cope with the recent situations. If you can find a therapist who practices NLP (neuro linguistic programming) he or she can probably get you fixed up in no time. You’ll probably need to to look for a hypnotherapist, since they tend to use NLP a lot more than any other therapist.
They’ll probably be able to use the spin technique, or the movie technique, or the reframe to get you through this quickly. This stuff just works. NLP is the V-Diet of therapy.
Talking about it is pure bullshit IMO. All that does is help to fix the problem in your brain. Have you ever heard of anyone who talked to a therapist about a problem and fixed it in less than a year? Talking about a problem feels good, but it keeps the problem active and really annoys your friends.
[quote]StrongSurvive wrote:
Thanks everyone. I did burpees till I dropped. I lost count. Having a workout partner helped me stay motivated. But I won’t have a partner everyday… I’m thinking about posting up a workout log on here to help keep progress or something… I don’t know…
My health has always been important to me… I don’t want to let it go just because of what has happened. I need to start doing things that make me feel good and things that make me a better person… I felt great after todays workout. I’ve also met a new girl. She’s beautiful. Her birthday is tomorrow. Hopefully she’ll like her gift. =)[/quote]
Good man. Keep it up, buddy. Training will ALWAYS help keep you together through the thick and thin. Stick to it.
I think theres some really amazing advice on here…And some truth in everything everyone has said here…
Honestly,no matter how much you stay around friends or go talk to somebody, you are going to feel depressed. 3 months isnt crazy at all in my opinion…its natural. I lost someone once (never a parent), and i was never the same for a whole year. Even 2 years…It wasnt until three years later when one day I woke up and I just felt like me again…
Your father sounds alot like mine…I mean i feel you man. Its hard…The fact that your on here talking about it is great, the fact that you recognize you want to get over this is great, but let yourself grieve too… You need time to heal. What people said i recommend 100x over, try going out to events at school, DONT be alone, try to keep working out, keep eating right, if you feel your ready for another relationship GO FOR IT, but keep talking about it. Dont push it back away and just fill yourself with never facing the issue… Talk about it until your at peace…and i can guarantee you it wont happen overnight, takes a long time…Ive read people saying take this or go to this therapy…That may work but time heals all wounds…and honestly you need time…its part of life…but without the pain without loss you can never truly understand joy and the joy of life…
I’d also suggest you scale back your training to one or two sets of major exercises per muscle group (split or total body… whatever floats your boat), and do a good 30 minutes of light to moderate cardio.
Regular, low-to-moderate intensity cardio can do wonders for depression.
Don’t expect yourself to be willing or even able to do workouts at your previous level for at least a few months.
Here is what my workout schedule looks like currently… Just to kind of get back into the groove of things. Also, so working out won’t take a big chunk out of my day.
I think this is good for me right now… Breaking it up day by day has really helped. And it gives me something to look forward to when I get home from school. Thanks everyone for the advice… I’m feeling a lot better even since just a few days ago. I’m taking vitamins again. And I’m taking melatonin to help me sleep. I’ve been feeling a lot better lately. Thanks everyone. I still miss my mother very much. I know that won’t ever go away. But there is so much to look forward to in this life… And our lives are so short! She wouldn’t want me spending it in sorrow. Thanks again everybody. =)
Your mother won’t ever go away, either, because you are always thinking about her. Just continue to do what you were doing when she was around, so she could be proud of you.