Hi everyone. I feel like I’ve lost who I was… Physically and mentally… 3 months ago my mother passed away, and it has been hell… And a month after that, my girlfriend, who I had grown dearly attached to left me… Spiritually I’ve felt apathetic? And on top of college this year… I just don’t feel like doing anything… I tried to workout yesterday…
I took some Surge Workout Fuel… I did one OH press… ONE… Then I laid down at 7:00 in the afternoon. And I didn’t rise this morning till 12:00… That’s 17 hours of sleep… I don’t know… I feel like a complete sloth… I don’t usually sleep that long… due to school… But apparently my body would if it had the choice everyday… I don’t know what to do.
It’s more than just weightlifting that I’m neglecting too… Homework… Relationships… And even personal hygiene seems to fade in the back of my mind as a “chore.” I don’t even feel like the same person I used to be…
I think it’s a lot more than nor having motivation to workout - you are depressed or grieving about more important things and hence have no motivation to do…anything.
Speak to some friends or family members about it, it’s tough to deal with but you just got to be strong and learn to deal with it - almost everyone will go through this in life.
People deal with these thigs differently - depression, drinking, drugs, weights, food, etc…it will get better again in time.
That is a lot of harsh stuff you dealt with recently. Seems like you are very depressed to do anything. Just take time off from the gym and get yourself together. I know it can be hard at times, but that’s why we have friends and family.
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
I think it’s a lot more than nor having motivation to workout - you are depressed or grieving about more important things and hence have no motivation to do…anything.
Speak to some friends or family members about it, it’s tough to deal with but you just got to be strong and learn to deal with it - almost everyone will go through this in life.
People deal with these thigs differently - depression, drinking, drugs, weights, food, etc…it will get better again in time.[/quote]
Thanks… My dad recently bought us both a gym membership. I think it was an underhanded way of saying. “You need to get off your ass, but so do I.” Something like that… I don’t know… It’s been really hard…
[quote]aznt0rk wrote:
That is a lot of harsh stuff you dealt with recently. Seems like you are very depressed to do anything. Just take time off from the gym and get yourself together. I know it can be hard at times, but that’s why we have friends and family.[/quote]
Thanks… I’m actually seeing a friend today. We’re planning on working out together. I told him about everything, but that I still wanted to go for it… So I’m gonna give it another shot. =)
Ask yourself how your mother would feel about you slacking in school, in your personal life and even with hygiene. Would she have been impressed?
Continue to do what would have made her proud.
It sounds like you are an only child. If so, it would have hurt her even more to know her only child is so depressed and has lost all motivation to do what he was doing so well.
Talking about things can help but if you wish to impact your father in any way, you need to lead by example.
Sometimes it is ok to not do anything. This will allow yourself some time to properly mourn over your losses.
Sometimes attempting things when you are not ready for them will only make you feel worse. In this instance going to train but with no motivation you have an awful training session only to find that now you feel shitty about that too.
Take your time. As others said, friends and family are key in times like these.
I am sorry for your loss. I am sure that you will be back on your feet in no time and stronger than before. =)
[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
Ask yourself how your mother would feel about you slacking in school, in your personal life and even with hygiene. Would she have been impressed?
Continue to do what would have made her proud.
It sounds like you are an only child. If so, it would have hurt her even more to know her only child is so depressed and has lost all motivation to do what he was doing so well.
Talking about things can help but if you wish to impact your father in any way, you need to lead by example.[/quote]
Sorry maybe I wasn’t clear enough on back ground… My parents divorced when I was 5. I have 2 older sisters. My dad is happily remarried and my sisters both have loving husbands. Everyone else has a shoulder to cry on. My friends care for me… But they aren’t exactly the emotional type… It’s hard to open up to my dad. All he wants to do is fix it… It can’t be fixed with a few suggestions or practical advice… But I guess I’m desperate in hoping that invisible faces on a forum could fix my problems… There really is no way… I just want my life back. I want my health back… My mother had serious depression issues, but she was my rock in life… I could always rely on her. And even when she knew that there was nothing she could say to make it better. She listened anyway… She was always so encouraging. Even when the situation wasn’t… I still feel like I need her here. But she’s not…
[quote]StrongSurvive wrote:
PonceDeLeon wrote:
Ask yourself how your mother would feel about you slacking in school, in your personal life and even with hygiene. Would she have been impressed?
Continue to do what would have made her proud.
It sounds like you are an only child. If so, it would have hurt her even more to know her only child is so depressed and has lost all motivation to do what he was doing so well.
Talking about things can help but if you wish to impact your father in any way, you need to lead by example.
Sorry maybe I wasn’t clear enough on back ground… My parents divorced when I was 5. I have 2 older sisters. My dad is happily remarried and my sisters both have loving husbands. Everyone else has a shoulder to cry on. My friends care for me… But they aren’t exactly the emotional type… It’s hard to open up to my dad. All he wants to do is fix it… It can’t be fixed with a few suggestions or practical advice… But I guess I’m desperate in hoping that invisible faces on a forum could fix my problems… There really is no way… I just want my life back. I want my health back… My mother had serious depression issues, but she was my rock in life… I could always rely on her. And even when she knew that there was nothing she could say to make it better. She listened anyway… She was always so encouraging. Even when the situation wasn’t… I still feel like I need her here. But she’s not…
[/quote]
No worries, I apologize for making any false assumptions.
You said she was the rock in your life? What if she would tell her friends the same about you?
Wouldn’t she want HER rock to be healthy, happy and successful in school? I am willing to bet that she would.
I agree with jchenky. Sometimes, it is ok to be idle and not have to explain yourself to others. As long as nothing you do ever becomes a pattern - in this case, your idleness could become a pattern for depression - and as long as there is a reason for (most) things that you do.
I don’t think anyone could fault you for ‘expecting invisible faces on a forum’ to fix your problems. You are human.
Dude, you should probably see a therapist. You said it’s been 3 months and you’re still feeling depressed, that along with the fact that you’ve lost interest in things you loved doing, and things like hygiene are suffering…all these things point to the fact that you might be already or soon to be actually clinically depressed…
The fact that your biological mother had depression issues is also a big indicator…there is a strong correlation that shows that if one member of a family has clinical mood disorders, other family members have higher rates of developing mood disorders themselves.
I’m not sure if you’re in high school or university but most universities should have a health centre where you may be able to find someone to talk to.
Like a couple of other posters have said; you sound depressed. When you are stuck in a black abyss, no amount of anyone telling you to man up, will make one iota of difference. When the joy is sucked from things you previously took pleasure in,I would suggest you find someone to talk to.
In the meantime, I would continue doing some of the things you would normally enjoy. Sometimes the action of doing it brings back the emotion of actually enjoying doing it. I’m not sure if that makes sense but it’s kind of like the action makes it reality.
I echo those on here who suggest that you sound depressed. The fact that your mother had depression issues may increase that likelihood. At any rate, there is no reason to feel ashamed about this; however, you need to deal with it as quickly as possible.
People deal with depression in different ways, some positive and some not so positive. I suggest you seek out some help soon. If you are a self-helper and open to some positive reading, I also suggest this book: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336 Helped me work through some rough times; it may help you as well.
That said,if you can still push yourself to take care of things that feel dull to do,you’ll feel better; in the middle of an emotional chaos,having order in life is good. As it is any other time. You still have things to feel good about then.
[quote]hardgnr wrote:
Use the 2 minute rule. Don’t spend longer then 2 minutes on a problem in your life.[/quote]
2 minute rule also applies to advice from people: Don’t spend more than 2 min. listening to people’s advice. However,having a chance to get something off your chest is a good thing.
[quote]That One Guy wrote:
Dude, you should probably see a therapist. You said it’s been 3 months and you’re still feeling depressed, that along with the fact that you’ve lost interest in things you loved doing, and things like hygiene are suffering…all these things point to the fact that you might be already or soon to be actually clinically depressed…
The fact that your biological mother had depression issues is also a big indicator…there is a strong correlation that shows that if one member of a family has clinical mood disorders, other family members have higher rates of developing mood disorders themselves.[/quote]
x2
It sounds like you need someone to talk to, and a counselor or a psychiatrist might be just what you need right now. Heck, you might even think about antidepressants - maybe not indefinitely, but perhaps for a few months, you know, long enough to get out of this funk.
What you’ve described sounds like a pretty serious case of depression - the kind for which it might be wise to seek some professional help.