T Nation

I Have 100 New Exercise Routines

Thank god bro I was worried there because it seems like nobody can get big and strong with the exercises that already exist. Your 100 new exercises will be the ones that produce the first big strong person ever.

I see a Billy Mays commercial here:
“But wait there’s more. When you order 50 exercises we will send you 50 more free. Just pay separate shipping and handling.

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image https://i.pinimg.com/236x/f4/9c/0e/f49c0e55ce7a53bd7c23404a9021f9af--billy-mays-middle-east.jpg

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Not sure if I should pity the OP or chastise him for not researching better the type and experience level of the posters on this site.

Actually, I can think of one or two posters on the site who are exactly the type and experience level the OP is looking to dupe.

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Likely the ones who spend more time on Instagram at the gym than actually doing work.This reads like many of the IG and Facebook ads I see all the time.

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I always thought that one mans spam could be found in another mans trash can?

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I am not sure if anyone will respond to this because it might seem like it is impossible and unbelievable. For starters, what if I have told you that I have found a different variation of the one arm resistance scissoring using a kettlebell?

What if I said that I have come up with five or more TRX sexual positions? These are variations that I have not seen anywhere else!

What if I told you that I have 25 new variations of the missionary position, using bands, exercise machines, kettlebells, barbell and dumbbells? Some using combinations of them!

Okay how about 25 new sexercise routines? Seems like a low number!

What if I told you 40? Okay still not interested. What about 50 sexercise routines? Still not sure?How about 60 ,70, or 75 new sexual positions, all guaranteed to stimulate?

Still not enough well how about over 100? Wait what did you just read?! Yes, you read correct over 100 different sexercises.

It seems like every time I get it on I am discovering new fitness sexercises.

The best part is that anyone can do these sexercises. Most of them use low weights. Some using 10 lbs or less!

I have one full three body routine that has over 25 different sexercises.

I split the routine in two because it takes about 20 to 25 minutes for each session. It consist of total legs, prostate, back, arms, shoulders, lats, triceps, biceps, and many other areas, including the vagina!

Like I mentioned in the post that it would seem to be impossible and unbelievable.

But I really have over 100 new sexercises or different ways of doing fitness sex.

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Well i am interested now! :grin:

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I tried Billy Boinks tae-bed, but ended up with 3 broken ribs and a sprained taint.

And a pfa.

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Should have combined the shake weight and the ab-lounge. For $10 extra shipping, I can send my DVD on where to put the shake-weight. Stars Jenna Jameson, Peter North, and Ernie Hudson (from Ghostbusters).

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This shit has me crying

Can you show us what meaningful progress these exercises have led to?

By that, I mean some evidence that performing these exercises leads to a measurable increase in strength, or that they have helped you or someone else gain a level of physique development that they had not previously attained.

What if I told you it would be surprising if he even comes back to post again? What if I told you he cannot prove the efficacy of his myriad new exercise routines?

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You never can tell with these guys. I have to give @anon50325502 credit for this throwback.

Mr. 4700 Pound Leg Press never did get around to posting a video of himself doing any real lifting.

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Honestly you can only hope they stick around long enough for an entertaining thread that’ll just go down in forum history.

With a total of two minutes spent on the forum (I’m gonna guess that’s even rounding up a bit), the guy literally just joined the site, started this thread, and then split.

I genuinely have no idea what the thought process was behind it. People on the Internet are weird.

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Did he originally include some kinda link or contact info that we can’t see? I’m struggling to figure out how this guy even expected anyone to fall for this.

I’m not sure I could fall for this if I tried. Should I just be googling Mike Adams one arm banded KB row?

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We generally don’t discuss mod/admin actions, but I think it’s safe to make a quick exception and say that no, there were no links/plugs/spam edited out. The post is exactly what the guy submitted.

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I actually did this. There is some stuff resembling these ramblings that shows up in the first few Google hits, but it is a relatively common name and I’m a Google junkie.