[BEGIN RANT] My life sucks, and in the all-American spirit of blaming somebody else, I’ve decided that I hate women. Specifically I hate women who…
…dump all their emotional baggage on you and then get upset when you show a little sympathy.
…seek out one little flaw in you and then use that as an excuse to break up instead of just, well, breaking up.
…get excited about going on a big date with you and then, after you’ve payed $65 bucks apiece for 7th row center tickets, decide 30 minutes before the date that they can’t go because they decided to see someone else.
…break a date because they’re “sick”, and then forget and tell you and your friends two weeks later what a wonderful time she had doing something else that same weekend.
…get mad that you “tricked them into a date” when the big group you were both planning to go out with dissolved and only the two of you were left.
…date you because they’re tired of looking for happiness and are willing to settle.
…flirt incessantly with you, go on dates with you, and then dump you because someone said the two of you were “dating”.
…misinterpret one little joke and then hold it against you for the rest of your life, especially when everybody else gets the joke.
…call YOU three times to set up a date and then stand you up.
…tell you they can’t go out because of some reason, but then go out with some metrosexual prick.
…purposely drag their new boyfriends around to places where they know you’ll see them.
…hug you every time they see you and then tell all their friends you’re “stalking” her.
…encourage you to ask out some girl friend of theirs just to laugh as you fall flat on your face, because they knew all along she wasn’t interested.
I guess that covers just about every woman at some time or another, so I must hate all women. [END RANT]
It feels good to get that out of my system. Anybody else have any favorites I didn’t cover in my many years of checkered dating history?