T Nation

I HATE My Ethnicitiy - What's Wrong with Me?


I'm a 20 y/o British male and I absolutely hate being indian. From a young age i've grown up in predominantly white communities, until the age of 9 I grew up in a town where I was the only non-white kid in school.

Now you're probably thinking it's because of racial incidents in the past, but I have honestly experienced very little racism at all.

I don't know why but I hate indian culture, I will try to avoid indian food as much as possible, at home I get angry if my parents speak to me in anything other than english - I wish I could unlearn my understanding of hindi and punjabi. And my social life has really suffered due to this as well, throughout school and even now I never call any friends round to my house because my dad is very religious and I don't want my friend seeing all the hindu picture or see them wearing traiditional clothing or hear them speaking a foreign language. So I always went to their houses or arrange to meet outside.

In uni virtually all of my firends are white, there were some asian folk who were friendly but I just didn't want anyhting to do with them when they startd talking about bhangra nights etc.

But I myself am very british at heart, i've had one gf in the past who was indian, but it ended very quickly, because we were very different people, she was into bollywood and Star TV etc and didn't drink while I had a more mainstream lifestyle, so even though we were the same ethnicity (both punjabi) there was a culture clash.

I think one of the main reasons I think this was is because in college there was this one girl who I can honestly say I had fallen in love, she was a friend of a friend and we got to know each other well, the more I got to know her the more I had fallen in love with her, she was very British, and as much as I tried, she just didn't seem interested in me, and I can almost guarantee its because i'm indian, she wasn't a bigot or a xenophobic or anything since we were quite good friends, but she didn't consider me to be 'bf material' because of this.

Do you think that could be the reason why I think this way?
I just want to be Caucasian British but my backgorund won't let me be.


you are a fuking tool bag, grow up and accept who you are.


Dude Im Albanian we are considered in the western countries Dangerous etc.BUT Im happy to be Albanian just be who you are dont be a douchebag


Just accept who you are man, I don't know if this is for real or not but you can't beat yourself up for something you have no control over what so ever. You're just stressing yourself out for no reason at all, and the reason that broad wasn't interested in you was because nobody will love you until you really love yourself. So pick your balls off the ground and go back to living.


You can't be white, cause you're not? No shit sherlock..

Of course that chick didn't like you because you're punjabi or whatever, that must be why right?! It has nothing to do with you as a person. I'm sure that, if you were white, you'd be a billionaire shaggin' sexeh blonds all day right having whatever you'd like.

I myself take pride of being part danish part african(Tanzania)... You know, be a little different?

I feel bad for your parents, you're one disgraceful fuck tbh.


Its cool man.

Your 20.

Guys don't be so hard on him.

The cool thing Raz about growing older, as you advance through your 20's is you start figuring yourself out and eventuially accepting who you are, and loving it.

It just takes time.


You're a man without a country. Suicide is probably the only solution.


What I don't get, is how does one develop that kind of thinking?

I'm 18, and NEVER felt this way.


Some always think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Probably what he thinks.


careful, this happens.


Congratulations; you win THE PRIZE.

OP, it'll pass with time, as you grow up and become independent. Don't be bitter towards your parents for not being able to fit in with society.

BTW, being multicultural > being like everyone else, anyday.


I know. It's called "thinning the herd."


Once upon a time, people "knew" that multiculturalism and unrestricted immigration were bad ideas because they created the types of problems you've just described.

Unfortunately, people don't know that anymore.

I'm sure you realize that there's no simple solution to your situation. The only comfort you can take is to know that you're far from being the only insecure person in the world.


I don't understand the OPs logic, but I never understood being "proud" of my ethnicity either. What exactly is there to be proud about? I'm proud about my own accomplishments, but I just can't see being proud to be decendent from a bunch of people in other countries that I never knew, who had/have a completely different way of living than I do.


I agree, and I regret using the word "pride". I like you, don't take pride in anything other than what I myself have accomplished, I just used pride due to the lack of a better word haha.

Okay, I accept who I am, and I'm also happy of who I am.


I don't see what the problem is. You're an individual, your ethnicity does not define you. I'm white British and have many Indian friends; I don't think of them as being 'Indian' just my mates.

Also, I'd love to be something other than white British, it's boring.


hey, i got good news for you... indians are caucasian. But alas, you'll never be white unless you get that michael jackson shit


another yolked up


which is a good thing

carry on sir


It can develop at any age, so have hope, OP!