T Nation

I Hate Movie Stars

For the life of me, I cant figure out why some movie stars come up with the names they do for their kids. Do they think their status will deter other kids from mercilessly picking on them as they grow up? Kids find mean things to say about any normal name (Smelly Kelly, Fat Matt, etc.) and then some schmuck has to go name their poor child Moon Unit, Apple, Banjo, or Pilot Inspektor. Why dont they just name their kid, Huge Steaming Pile of Crap, or Homoerotic, or better yet, Just Skip the Small Talk and Make Fun of Me Now. That way they can save the bullies the enormous amount of time they need to spend thinking up new mean things that rhyme with Moxie CrimeFighter.

These people need to be stopped at once.

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/movies/articles/_a/why-stars-name-babies-moxie-and-moses/20060417071309990001

I always thought it would be cool to have a little boy named Envy and a little girl named Pride.

I think Nicholas Cage named his son Kal-El…that’s fucking awesome.

You damn critics, if a parent chooses Apple and Cocoa for names, they’re a whacked out nutjob. If they choose George, George, George, and George, they’ve taken one too many blows to the head. As long as it’s pronouncible with human physiology, who cares? Personally, I like the name Seven.

Keep in mind it’s not just celebrities that give their kids some jacked up names. We just only hear about them because they’re just that, celebrities. I agree that Apple and pilot whatever are terrible names…but it’s not limited to just celebrities.

I think I will name my first born, Ford Prefect.

[quote]lucasa wrote:
You damn critics, if a parent chooses Apple and Cocoa for names, they’re a whacked out nutjob. If they choose George, George, George, and George, they’ve taken one too many blows to the head. As long as it’s pronouncible with human physiology, who cares? Personally, I like the name Seven.

[/quote]

You can’t use Seven. I am saving that for my next kid.

You can use Soda for yours.

Celebrities (and those that just think they are) name their kids strange names for one reason: To keep THEIR name in the spotlight!

Besides, if you are Gwenneth Paltrow’s kid (Apple)there is not ONE single other filthy rich kid at any level of their posh private schooling is gonna make fun of a first name.

There was a chapter in the book “Freakonomics” thast dealt with the correlation between socio-economic status (measured in part by mothers education I believe) and certain names. The bottom of the list read like a who’s who of the local titty bar whereas the very top was well populated with quite a few odd cutesy names. Apparently they all trickle down though. None of this is to say that actors are an educated group though.

I’m gonna call my first-born son “ECA stack”.

Or maybe “qqqqqqqqqqqqqqq”.

My cousin named her son Stardog…

[quote]Shaved wrote:
My cousin named her son Stardog…[/quote]

That’s funny, I named my dog Sunstar.

I’m naming mine after Transformers.

‘Optimus Prime, you sit here next to Megatron. We’re gonna have a little chitchat.’

^Blatantly ripped off from Dane Cook :slight_smile:

“HEY DILDO! get over here!”

[quote]lucasa wrote:
You damn critics, if a parent chooses Apple and Cocoa for names, they’re a whacked out nutjob. If they choose George, George, George, and George, they’ve taken one too many blows to the head. As long as it’s pronouncible with human physiology, who cares? Personally, I like the name Seven.

[/quote]

Seven? ya i guess i could see it, seven.
Seven periods of school
Seven beatings a day
and roughly seven stitches a beating
and eventually seven years to life.

ya your doing that child quite a service.

I named my first kid-FIRST
My second kid- SECOND
My third- THIRD
and if I have anymore kids I dont know what to name them any ideas?

[quote]moonjumper wrote:
I named my first kid-FIRST
My second kid- SECOND
My third- THIRD
and if I have anymore kids I dont know what to name them any ideas?[/quote]

You can name the fourth one FIFTH
and the fifth one FOURTH

That’ll fuck em’ up real nice!

[quote]bonzi50 wrote:
lucasa wrote:
You damn critics, if a parent chooses Apple and Cocoa for names, they’re a whacked out nutjob. If they choose George, George, George, and George, they’ve taken one too many blows to the head. As long as it’s pronouncible with human physiology, who cares? Personally, I like the name Seven.

Seven? ya i guess i could see it, seven.
Seven periods of school
Seven beatings a day
and roughly seven stitches a beating
and eventually seven years to life.

ya your doing that child quite a service.
[/quote]

FYI its a joke from seinfeld

My art teacher wants to have two kids. One named “th” pronounced as in “think.” He said he could piss off alot of little league coaches with that name… you cant scream “th.”

The second, he wants to name “matt, spelled B.O.B” To piss off substitute teachers… “Bob?” “No, its matt.”

Hes a crazy guy.

[quote]Kir Dog wrote:
moonjumper wrote:
I named my first kid-FIRST
My second kid- SECOND
My third- THIRD
and if I have anymore kids I dont know what to name them any ideas?

You can name the fourth one FIFTH
and the fifth one FOURTH

That’ll fuck em’ up real nice![/quote]

Funny, except…
My grandpa’s oldest sister was named Prima, and the next in line was Segundo. (first and second in Italian). My grandpa got Guido.