Ok - I had a bourbon and figured Id type some more.
Im off tomorrow- I worked 6 days already.
this happened in 2014- so its 3 years ago but still sensitive as F.
Sooooo- the next day- I am fucked- really fucked - it hurts worse then when my hamstring was crawling up my leg.
or that time I busticated my shoulder-
or when I fffed up my neck
I have some weird shit going on with my right hand it cant close properly - and my forearm is like bent at a 90 degree angle.
I have a bit of a stutter for a few days- and Im guessing its all the shit they pumped into me.
our bathroom is like 5 feet from our bedroom- it took like 10 minutes for me to get there.
I feel like I did a 20 hour day had too much to drink…and someone hit me in the knee with a bat. Im wearing a GIANT NFL sized leg brace with like 4 ace bandages underneath.
I can get to the kitchen and make a coffee- we have an espreso maker-
itsa all I drink
but I cant carry it- Im on crutches.
Later I find out when trying to feed my son - that I can stand on
the good leg with crutches and do stuff- make food cook etc
but I cant carry anything cause I have no free hands.
little guy is now 7 but he was 4.5 when this all went down.
’yo son - come get this lunch’
litte guy ’ dad Im busy doing what ever’
me ’ I cant bring you lunch’
that fucking sucked.
our sitter had to be recurited to do more- she is aweseome
but it sucked.
I started to make calls - to my various institutions that I use-
cable - cel phone - mortgate- car - etc
me- ‘hey I am unable to work - on medical disability - can we reduce or be put on a payment schedule?’
celphone,cable, utilities, etc
’ well if you want to cancel - and be put in receivership we can help’
me 'so you are asking if I want to cancel? I cant work- and cant pay bills"
them ’ no problem - we can terminate services - and refer you to collections’
Turns out the IRS is ready.
Ready to deal with anyone - who can’t pay -for what ever reason.
- laid off- injured, disabled, out of town - no problem.
they have a comprehensive system for what ever is holding you down.
banks, mortgages, utilities, cel phone, cable, can all give a fuk.
Its two or three days post surgery-
I suck at life.
cant sleep stoned as fuk of oxy
having horrible dreams
5 days comes and goes- pain is getting worse and worse.
my left foot is the size of a foot ball.
and Im having some 'issues’
turns out some people are sensitive to oxy- you can get what is called an oxy boner.
three day boner - and constipated as fuck
colace, prune juice , and fiber.
leg brace from ankle to hip -
cant take a shit- and have a three day boner.
where was that nurse with the beautiful ass?
cant sleep- which means the wife cant sleep.
the oxy runs out.
so I have to take percaset.
there is a BURNING pain .
and I have DREAMS
scary ass fucking dreams.
Im hobbling along- trying to hold down food
soup- some solids- still cant talk right
and my right arm is like in a permanent chicken wing
my neck and upper back is tight as fuck from crutches
I have to call the surgeon - cause my foot is the size of a basket ball
cant really bathe- just doing sponge baths-
me " i suck it hurts- my foot is swole , entire leg is swole’ Im in allot of pain I cant sleep’
dr. 'suck it up. your ready to see me in a day or two- why cant you sleep’
me- 'im having bad BAD dreams’
dr. 'I thought you where tougher then this, see me in two days."
two days- turns out to be ten days post surgery.
wife drives me to the Surgeons office-.
his battle axe nurse and shabby office are shitty.
she has me sign in etc-
‘Date of Birth’
ok Dr will see you -
I stagger down to the room she indicates.
I have on t-shirt and some giant ass adidas pants that slide over the leg brace
eventually homeboy comes in.
‘you look like shit’
‘I feel like shit’
ok lay down - let me take start.
He takes off the brace for thr first time in ten days.
removes the ace bandages- My foot and leg immediately
start to feel better- swelling immediately starts to reduce.
dr. 'lets get these staples out- you said you had bad dreams’
he starts to pop out the staples- he is super fast and his dexterity is amazing. very cool to watch.
dr’ you say you haven’t been sleeping?'
me 'well I stopped taking the percaset’
dr ’ so your not taking anything? thats great- but how are you you look like shit. - how is your sleep? you said you have been having dreams?
me 'yeah- bad.'
dr. ‘come on how bad’
me ’ well I cant sleep - or take a crap and I had what I googled was an oxyboner’
dr ’ this is on percaset?'
dr ‘hmmm this happens sometimes- tell me more about these dreams’
me ’ well - its bad.- its a period piece.
me’ yeah - Im on a battle field - laying in long grass- the sky is so blue- the clouds are beautiful and I smell gunpowder , horses, the moistness of the earth the dirt- and I smell blood- brassy and septic -like intestines’
Im laying down - and two men , speaking french - rustic country french
9like I know) they have dark long hair and scruff- and are wearing like
late 1700’s shit - powder loading muskets- boots etc, but Im wearing
jeans and Airmax 95- neon - the classic’
‘french bros- know who I am and are cursing me out and smack me up a bit- Im already bleeding- and they through me on a cart and drag me off the battle field’
‘its a replay of being on the gurney with EMS- clouds - sun - blue skys,
going under dappled light of tree branches. they drag me in one courtyard
and I see the walls- and bounce me over cobble stones and through the other end of a courtyard’
now its three men- two ‘frenchmen’ and another bro from god knows where who is more in charge - he dumps me on the floor
and kicks me in the head.
Im hearing a sound - a scrape and drag of gravel its a grave being dug.
‘dr - this is pretty intense’
’ three bros- slowly cut open my abdomen and stat to grab handfuls of dirt and grass and stuff it full - to staunch the blood.
they sew me up with some string - all the while I am screaming , screaming’
the digging is still going on and these three fuckfaces drag me over to this grave- and throw me in face up
I cant really move and Im feeling liquid being poured on me-
piss? water - I dont know- then a barage of french or chech or what ever is being yelled at me- and then a match is thrown on me.’
‘im in a tench - burning- hearing these pricks laugh’
dr -’ keep going’
me ’ they start to shovel dirt on me im trying to scream , but have a mouth full of dirt.‘
black black black.
Im scrambling- more afraid then when I fell - terrified.
im in a sandy - gravely kind of tomb - its liked with some kind of wax paper- Im freakin out- I awake again and find some matches in my pocket I light them- and realize im in an open topped box- a coffin - in a ditch
lined with wax paper- with a bamboo shaft buried with me- a few inches off the floor- so I can breath.
I realize im giong to starve to death- burried alive with burns over 90% of my body’
dr - 'thats pretty intense’
me 'yeah I stopped taking percaset after that’
dr.- that is some freaky shit- lets do an Xray-
an Xray- a bunch of manipulation - he is wraps me up puts the brace back on - and writes a prescription for me to start PT tomorrow.
dr. ’ here you go, those are some wild dreams- stay off percaset- only take it if you must. You start PT tomorrow- see you in two weeks’
I realize Im soaked- in sweat from recounting my dreams
and Im sick- seeing my leg- its like a third the size - my quaud is the same size as my knee- there is a 6" incision on my knee- and another same size
on the outer side of my knee- my foot is poitnting inward and has no real ability to move right.
my calf seems to have disapeared as well VMO - non existant.
I try to organize myself to go home and rest.