I am really tired, so please bear with me as I do my best to articulate my thoughts.
I have recently come to the conclusion that I do not respect a significant number of my friends. Their actions, combined with the manners in which they carry themselves have led me to believe they are not worthy of my respect. The search for impartial perspective and advice has led me here.
My male friends all have beautiful girlfriends who care about them a great deal. My friends treat them as “Sort-of girlfriend vaginas” if you will, often referring to them as “bitches, sluts, whores” etc…even while in their presence.
Sometimes they go so far as to cheat on their girlfriends when drunk at parties. They all smoke a substantial amount of cigarettes, have done a number of serious drugs, and drink heavily. Their lack of discipline and general disregard for the feelings of their girlfriends have led me to not respect them.
Now let me tell you…these girls are absolutely beautiful. They are also very sweet, and have great personalities. They do not drink, nor do they smoke, nor have they done serious drugs. They appear as if they would do anything for their boyfriends, yet are met with verbal (in one case, physical) abuse. This irrational tolerance for this unacceptable behavior has led me to not respect them either.
My female friends seem to feel obligated to absorb abuse similar to what my male friends serve their girlfriends (must be a girl thing). My closest female friend (known her since we were 2) who is was by no means “loose” slept with her “off and on” boyfriend 6 days after they started going out.
He is 6’1 125, did not graduate highschool, drinks, and does serious drugs, (and generally is a loser in most other aspects of life). My female friend however, was the embodiment of the word “purity” throughout her life up until the beginning of college. She feels compelled to put up with his flaws day-in and day-out and stay with him even though he is clearly holding her back in life. This self-sabotaging behavior has led me to believe that she is not worthy of my respect.
Another of my female friends (very beautiful, very sweet) dated an unemployed, homeless, highschool diploma-less, broke, methhead for 3 months until he left her (she was heartbroken).
While I love my friends, I do not respect them, and find that I endure, rather than enjoy their behavior.
I am 20 years old, and my friends are all 18-24.
If you were in my position, what would you do?
Guy friends treat their girlfriends like objects rather than people, and are very undisciplined.
Girl friends absorb abuse from their boyfriends and are quite literally sentient rug mats.