T Nation

I dont know what the hell to do

Several weeks ago I went to a college house party with a few of my friends. It was their friend’s party so I didn’t know anyone there, so I drank as much as possible in a matter of a couple of hours. Throughout the night I kept going up to this bathroom that was part of this bedroom. Anyway, the last time I went in there, the knob was locked, but the door wasn’t set so it swung open and I cruised on in, only to find this guy and girl going at it. He was on top and he just looked up like he was shocked, and stared at me, not saying a thing. I might have said something, or just laughed, I dont know, but i was so out of it I just stumbled into the bathroom and took a piss. When I came out the guy was gone but the girl was still laying there with what I think was her pants down to her ankles. I just got a glance because I felt uncomfortable looking at a naked sleeping girl. I run out of the room and go downstairs to finish off the drinking. I found out today that a girl was raped at the party, she was a friend of one of the friend’s I went with, and she hadn’t said anything until now because she wasn’t sure she had been raped, but she has since missed her period. So I"m almost positive the guy I saw that night was raping that girl, it just makes too much since. The way he stopped in surprise, she didn’t say anythign, and she was just laying there when I left. Call me a weasel, but I really don’t want to get involved at this point. I don’t even think this girl plans on going to the cops, and even if she did I couldn’t ID the guy that did it, I dont even recognize her. I’m afraid if I tell my friends what I saw, word will get out that I didn’t do anything and I’ll somehow be blamed or some shit. It’s a bullshit situation, I’ve really been losing sleep over it lately, but I dont feel its my affair to get involved in. Any advice would be appreciated.

Dude, that is your affair to get involved in. Rape is an extremely serious matter bro. Either you tell your friends, the one who knows her, or you go to the cops and tell them what you saw. I definitely would not let this go. Even if you were shit-faced, this is no matter to just walk away from.

When you walked in and saw the two of them going at it, did you have any reason to think that she hadn’t given consent? If not, I don’t see where you can really get in trouble, but I’m no legal expert.

I would imagine that if the rape gets reported that any information you could give the police could be of help. For all you know, someone could have been telling their friends that they saw one dude go in the bathroom (you), a few minutes elapse, and then another dude (the rapist) come out. They could be telling their friends about the two gay guys at the party for all you know.

Just some stuff to think about.

So you are assuming she was given some sleeping aids and then he did her while she was out?

You cant really be blamed for not doing anything on the spot, but you still have a chance to do something now assuming you could give any clues about who he was.

of course wont matter if the gal doesnt want to do anything about it.

Talk to the girl and see what SHE wants to do about it. Get involved! Kick the scumbag’s ass! I can’t believe you have to ask a training internet site what you should do. What the hell is wrong with you man? If that were your sister would it make a difference? Grow some balls Weasel.

Nothing in this world pisses me off more than fuck sticks who rape women!!! I just think that is the most cowardice and god-aweful thing someone can do. I remember my ex told me that something similiar to that happened to her. She was drunk and she passed out and when she woke up, this guy was on top of her. My blood boils just thinking about it. And to top that off…the fucking guy asked her out a couple of days afterwards, thinking that what he did wasn’t rape!! This happened a few years before my ex and I even met…and I still get furious thinking about it. To think of her being harmed in any way just puts me in protective mode and I can say that I would feel the same way for a stranger, especially if you think that this girl you stumbled upon was actually being raped.

Regardless…if I were you, I would definetly say something. DO NOT let this guy get away with it my man!!!

Man…I can not express in words how much I HATE and despise men who rape women or vice versa (even though that is much rarer). I remember when I was student teaching my mentor teacher had a brilliant idea. If someone is convicted of rape their punishment should be this:

Put them in a room with their dick clamped to something that they can’t escape from. Give them a pair of scissors. Set the room on fire and then they have a choice. They can either burn to death…or cut off their weenie. FUCKING heartless bastards!!!

I’m with the rest …you have to say something.


You’re a man. You will need to hold your own and do the right thing.

If you had been beaten up, robbed and left on the sidewalk passed out, would you want the SOB go unpunished? Wouldnt you want a witness who saw the whole thing to come forward? That witness right now is you. Comfortable or not, you DID see what in your eyes was a rape.

Try approaching the girl who you saw and tell her. Or tell your friends at the party. Just dont wait too long to do it - if youre gonna do the right thing do it NOW. The girl missed her period and could be pregnant because a scumbag raped her when she was passed out - and you have the nerve you DONT want to come forward with what you saw?

Some man you are.

Gotta chime in with the others. It’s way to easy to step back into the crowd and pretend you didn’t see anything in situations like this.

Sack up and do the right thing. Get involved.

Come forward and talk to her to see what she wants to do. While a prosecution can move forward without her consent, it will be next to impossible without her cooperation. The main thing to do is to make certain she has saved any evidence, including clothing that might have DNA.

Your testimony will be destroyed by any competent defense attorney once you say how much you had to drink, and will not hold up as the only evidence. However, your testimony in addition to DNA evidence could help put this guy where he belongs, which is in jail.

Well, I’m thinknig now I’ll just sit back and see what she does about it, I just wanted to know if there was any way I could get screwed over this, considering how much the court hates alcoholics, I can see them nailing me on a “good samaritan” law or being an accomplice or something. It’s not worth the risk, I don’t know the situaiton, for all I know she could have consented. Either way, I’m not going to have the stigma of this whole thing follow me, all I need is one person pointing at me and saying: “there’s that guy involved in that rape”. Thanks for all the advice.

You are a real piece of work. Why come on here and ask a question that any moral person would not have to ask and then completely ignore all the responses? What a waste of DNA you are. You have the honor of being the first person that I have put on my personal IGNORE list. I refuse to waste any of my time on cowardly assholes. Sleep well tonight.

Uh, did the dude also steal your package on the way out? I’m just wondering, since you’re coming off like a sackless wonder at this point. Talk to the girl.

I was more or less looking for some sort of legal advice on the matter, probably not the best place to come but I was desperate by this point. I’m sorry for the girl, but it’s not my business, and like I said, there’s no way I would recognize the guy even if he was standing in front of my face. I’m not going to sacrifice my reputation for some girl that couldnt’ control herself.

Ya know, I waited on this one. Wanted to see how my non knee-jerk reaction compared to my knee-jerk one.

Well, here it is.

Knee-jerk: You motherfucking asshole! How the fuck can you even stomach yourself? What kind of weak, punked-out pussy can you possibly be to have even the slightest second of doubt and misgiving about providing any and all information you have to put the rapist where he belongs?! Who the fuck cares if you have some level of culpability in the matter? No one. Let me rephrase: No one with a shred of dignity and self-respect, and such a person you obviously are not. Anyone who gets so fucking obliterated that he can’t see that a chick is passed out and being raped deserves to be raped himself. Why the hell didn’t you join in? Your lack of action places as much shame and responsibility on you as that fucker’s actions place on him. I can’t even comprehend how you can live with yourself.

Non knee-jerk reaction: IF what she claims is true - the above reaction applies. IF what she says is a function of remorse over a stupid mistake on her part - fuck her and the above reaction applies to the cunt.

Unfortunatley, it’s impossible for us to assume anymore that a chick who cries rape was indeed raped. IF she was, there is no punishment harsh enough for the asshole - along with anyone remotely culpable for the perpetration and/or coverup of such an act. IF she was not, the reverse applies. Situations like this make it incredibly difficult for those that were genuinely in such circumstances and ought to have every expectation of justice to find such.

Oh you mean the reputation you just gained on here as a fucking pussy? Or the one that you might gain from your circle of friends as the guy who didn’t help out the girl getting raped.

Grow some fucking balls.

This is what this fruitcake posted in March:

“Is it normal to be disgusted by the opposite sex? No, I’m not gay, I’m a hearlthy 21 year old male, and starting about 2 years ago I became disgusted with women, and humans in general. Vaginas disgust me, they smell like shit and they have nasty pubes all over em, and anytime I see a girl I picture her taking a dump and it grosses me the hell out. I imagine how horrible their breath smells in the morning and having periods etc. I repeat, I’m not gay, humans in general are disgusting, but I’m not out to have sex with guys, so they can be gross. My last girlfriend broke up with me after I kept throwing up when I went down with her. I could only have straight sex, but after I finished I’d imagine it and it’d gross me out again. Anyone have a similar problem?”

Maybe he was confessing.

My favorite part was, “My last girlfriend broke up with me after I kept throwing up when I went down with her.” I’m not a woman, but if I were, and the guy who just went down on me once threw up, he would never get a second chance.

Hope you don’t have any Mirrors at home.


“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs”

~ Ambrose Bierce