To make a long story short, I feel like I’m grossly out of place in today’s society, and I don’t know what to do. Bear with me, and don’t consider this a pity party because I’m only writing this to see if anyone else feels the way I do.
I grew up in a blue-collar family in the lower-class suburbs. My old man came from a small town in Iowa. He had me chewing Cope since I was 12 years old. Taught me to keep my mouth shut and work for what you want. I never recall having anything handed to me. He smacked me and my brother around more than was necessary. I managed to make it into college (first in my family, everyone else is in the Marines). Paying for it on the money I made in construction.
I don’t have time to go out and party with kids, or just hang out, because I work from 7 in the morning til 7 at night, then train from 8 to 9, and am in bed by 10:30. I go to a major state school, and am surrounded by people who have everything handed to them, and can’t understand me. I’m quiet, I don’t get loud or bullshit people. I feel like I’m always in the fucking shadows, struggling to stay afloat on my own dime while everyone else is all happy and carefree, able to do whatever they want because they have the means to.
They don’t set standards for themselves, or have ideals that they try to live by. I haven’t had a single date in two years of college. I ask girls out on formal dates, treat them with respect, the way my old man raised me to, but all they want is to party and be wild. I just don’t get it. All the guys I’m around up at school, save my closest friends, are a bunch of pussies.
I am most at peace when I am around blue collar workers, but I know that I need to make something of myself in college. Sometimes all I want to do is quit school, move somewhere in the midwest and farm or work with my hands, have a wife that is humble and loving, not like the girls out in the city. Call me a pussy but thats what I want. It seems like society is moving further and further away from the ideals that I was taught to believe in. It scares me, because it seems like America is going to shit on the MTV-highway.
Anyone else feel this way?