T Nation

I Don't Drink Anymore


#1

I have had some bad experiences with alcohol and feel like it has cost me a lot in my life. I got drunk on January 10 and had something of a cathartic moment the next day and I have only had alcohol on three non-consecutive occasions since, and never to excess, only one or two drinks.

I have mixed feelings about this. I now associate so much pain with drunkenness that the idea of getting drunk repulses me. Subsequently my social life has taken a real hit. I don't even like being around booze anymore and it seems like all my friends like to drink all the time. Even if they're not getting sloppy or out of control, it's just a drag to sit around bars or parties and not drink.

I wind up spending a lot of nights watching cartoons and hitting the hay early or reading. Not that I don't enjoy those things or feel better the next day than I would drinking, but I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of camaraderie. Even my academic peers like to go drink and carry on. Unfortunately, most of the friends I had as an undergrad have moved away leaving me in a social vacuum.

I'm to the point where I just don't know how to get a social life again without hanging around alcohol.

Anyway, I don't know if I made this post to brag or ask for help or what. I just feel like I want to get it off my chest.


#2

Didn't you post awhile back about having issues with cocaine abuse as well?

I'm pretty sure I recall you starting a similar thread in that vein: if not - bygones.

Regardless, it sounds as if you have self-control issues.

Stay away from the bottle and find a new social scene before you do something stupid.


#3

I've been in bad places with alcohol before. kind of in the reverse. Where isolation were driving me to drink, not the other way around.

For me getting my social life in order got my relationship with alcohol in order.

I'm not one that believes in 100% cold turkey forbids contact with something. All things in moderation.

I chose to use it responsibly rather than try to never touch it. I end up generally having 1 to 2 drinks maybe 3 or four times a week.

One big thing that changed socially is not hanging out in bars anymore. But I now have everything I need socially outside of them.

I don't know if that helps, but it's my .02$


#4

Ummm, no, you're thinking of a thread in which I parodied someone else's thread about marijuana by simply replacing the instances of the word "marijuana" with "cocaine".

I definitely agree with you though. After I fucked up one of my friends' apartment being drunk I realized what I was doing was unacceptable and I've been keeping it under control. I know some people can do the bar scene, drink some cheap beers on the weekends and not ruin the other 5/7 of their days. I'm not one of them, so I stick to a single Grey Goose Martini on special occasions.

Do you have any suggestions on how to change up my social environment? I mean, I don't really want to join a book club.


#5

Coffee shops? lol j/k
Wish I could help on the social front. I was never too great in that area myself.
The scant friends I have made along the way were mostly from work and school. I never do bars or anything like that.

But on the substance use front, I have some very definite ideas.
Personally I despise drinking/smoking/ drugs, the whole thing.

I do not understand why people think they need to drink poison or huff up noxious smoke or why anyone ever got the idea that that was a good thing to do in the fist place. But I want nothing to do with anything like that, ever and I truly do beleieve that the quality of my life is all the better for it.
Anyway, clean living is the bomb. If you really did quit drinking, bravo. way to go


#6

I think soon enough your friends will slow down like you. If they don't, you prob wouldn't want to be hanging out with them anyways. Drinking gives people the excuse to let out their inner demons and it's better to stay away if you can't control it.

I had to quit cause it was ruining my gym time. I believe in moderation also and will have a drink here or there when I get up to level I want to at the gym.

I think that you will find other people with similar interests but you have to get out there. Maybe instead of staying home and reading, why don't you go to a local book store and hang out? Better then a book club!!


#7

OP, I had the sam experience when I stopped drinking and taking prescription drugs. Most of my friends had similar habits, so I had to stop being around them. Then I didn't know what to do with myself.

It's hard to live without the shit when you do it for so long. What has helped me is trying out new things, finding new interests. some will stick, some won't. But when you start actively trying to get into new hobbies, etc. you are likely to meet other people who share the same interests.

Tis probably doesn't help, but just know that you aint alone, brotha.


#8

I have never touched the bottle in my life. Both sides of my family have history of alcoholism and I have seen its ill effects, which has kept me away. I don't let this hinder my social life though.

There are a few options here... first is the obvious, which is find things to do away from alcohol... coffee shops (I know it was said before jokingly, but there is a pretty interesting "scene" within coffee shops if you take the time to find it), concerts, sports, etc... it can all be done without alcohol (and you can actually remember what happened!)

Secondly is keep hanging out in bars w/o drinking. The majority of my friends all drink and hang out it bars... this does not prohibit me from hanging out. Bars actually do have drinks that do not contain alcohol (I know, its amazing!). A big plus if you can find a micro-brewery that makes their own root-beer.


#9

Brother, you gotta explore and find some endeavor that is interesting, exciting, adventurous, and fulfilling for you. Something that doesn't let you slip into boredom making it easier to fall back into that old barroom scene and routine.

You obviously have the iron game as most of us here do, but again, you gotta find more.

For me it's the outdoors, hunting, fishing, camping, hiking, shooting. At home reloading for my shooting hobby. Now that does it for me and may not do anything for you, but you gotta find what does do it for you. Because I fear just sitting at home and watching cartoons and reading, isolating in your cocoon, will have you aching to get down to Cheers where everybody knows your name again.

Good luck to you!

D


#10

I think what he's looking for here is a social scene with no booze. Some folks to pal around with. Maybe even a support system. A group of friends.

One good thing to do is to try and group up with people based on common interests. Join clubs and/ or orgs that are into the same stuff. There's tons of opportunities to meet cool people in situations like that.


#11

join AA

youll make new friends


#12

Most of your friends will slow down. And everyone has done stupid shit while they are drunk. When me and my friends were in our late teens and early 20's our sole mission in life was to get as completely fucked up as possible whenever possible. Stupid things occured.

Over the past 10 years most of us have come to a new relationship with alcohol. I'll call it the social drinker. I have one activity which revolves around drinking per week, in the winter it's a dart league, in the summer a golf league. On those nights it's perfectly fine to down a 6 pack of beer or so and still get to bed at a reasonable hour, say midnight. You catch a nice buzz, hang with some of your friends and you aren't totally crushed for work the next day, maybe a little slow to start off the day but you will recover just fine in a few hours.

Now maybe once every two months, granted more during the summer, you either host or attend a special event or party that you plan on having a place to sleep or a ride home. And on these occasions, feel free to get nice and drunk. However, if you are a bad drunk on a certain substance say tequila, avoid it on those nights. Stick with something you can get really wasted off without allowing your dark side to come out. If I stick with beer, I'm good 99.99% of the time. Vodka is another drink I an good with. Anything dark and I get huge balls and will try to start shit and just be rude and obnoxious, so I don't drink any dark liquor anymore.

Also everyone has had a morning after a night of heavy drinking when you feel really bad, depressed, and sometimes actually despise yourself. My friends and I always talk about these types of mornings and agree that it is just a natural way for you to tell yourself that last night you went overboard, so avoid what you did last night. But specifically, avoid what you drank that night.

The rest of the days, have a drink or two at most and don't sweat what other people think. I prefer not to drink the rest of the nights unless I have a glass of wine with dinner or something.

So they key is finding what works for you and avoiding what doesn't. And trust me and others can attest to this. You will have certain forms of the sauce that will affect you differently. So expirament a little and find one which gives you a nice happy buzz. Of course this is if you decide that you have self control and are not afraid of losing control.

V


#13

Get out of Iowa, there is nothing to do but drink or smoke meth.


#15

Agreed.

Not that I don't still like getting completely fucked up once in a weekend, I control myself now nearly all the other times.

Hanging out at a bar and drinking a bit slower while still bullshitting with your friends turns out to be a better time than puking all over the place and getting thrown out because you fell through three tables and had a cigarette in the bathroom.


#16

This is the usual progression as one gets a little older and hopefully wiser. A few drinks to acquire a mellow buzz once in awhile is a good thing. It sure beats getting tango wango smashed to the gills and the accompanying consequences of smashed behavior and the unmerciful hangovers.

Some youthful heavy drinkers can progress to this. For those that can't and and can't help but to drink like there's no tomorrow everyday. To the detriment of their health and future, they really should quit drinking all together.

But, to each their own. We all have our own road to travel.

D


#17

I dont drink anymore, it removes all my self control and I act like a tool, so I dont do it.

When I came back from uni this year, a lot of my friends have either moved away or are still studying, so I found a new social circle, who I dont drink with. I still hang out with them in bars and clubs, but they know I dont drink and are cool with it. My new girlfriend hasnt seen me drink, I dont stop them drinking or anything, but just dont do it myself. Some of my old friends dont understand it, but accept it, they know how unhappy the old me was, so thats all I can ask for.


#18

how? none of them drink


#19

world of warcraft


#20

Seriously, quitting drinking is generally a good thing and your post is just depressing as hell.


#21

I didn't intend it to be depressing. I have no regrets about stopping drinking, I've surmounted a large obstacle by taking control of that part of my life. I'm just bringing up another, smaller obstacle I have with finding fulfilling social things to do sans alcohol. Whatever minor trials I'll face because of not drinking are problems I'm happy to have.