I have had some bad experiences with alcohol and feel like it has cost me a lot in my life. I got drunk on January 10 and had something of a cathartic moment the next day and I have only had alcohol on three non-consecutive occasions since, and never to excess, only one or two drinks.
I have mixed feelings about this. I now associate so much pain with drunkenness that the idea of getting drunk repulses me. Subsequently my social life has taken a real hit. I don't even like being around booze anymore and it seems like all my friends like to drink all the time. Even if they're not getting sloppy or out of control, it's just a drag to sit around bars or parties and not drink.
I wind up spending a lot of nights watching cartoons and hitting the hay early or reading. Not that I don't enjoy those things or feel better the next day than I would drinking, but I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of camaraderie. Even my academic peers like to go drink and carry on. Unfortunately, most of the friends I had as an undergrad have moved away leaving me in a social vacuum.
I'm to the point where I just don't know how to get a social life again without hanging around alcohol.
Anyway, I don't know if I made this post to brag or ask for help or what. I just feel like I want to get it off my chest.