I invented a new version of the deadlift. During setup, instead of wrapping your hands around the bar, put your right foot on the bar, and place the left one far back to support your balance, so that you’re sort of in an extended lunging position.
Then, in one fast motion, transfer all your weight from your back leg to the one on the bar. Push the bar forward HARD, and watch it EXPLODE across the floor! Give me a “Hell Yeah!”
After the first rep, yank real hard on the bar to remove the plates that are lodged inside the gym wall. (If your bar didn’t smash through the wall, then stop being a pussy and go heavier!) Then switch legs, and try to push that fucker all the way to the wall on the other side of the gym!
If gym patrons are screwing around and talking instead of training and they get run down by your bar as a consequence, then that will teach them a good lesson about gym etiquette and not blabbing in the gym. You’ll be doing everyone a favor.
It helps to grunt really LOUDLY on every rep, so everybody in the gym can’t help but look over and to see what kind of a MAN it takes to MOVE 765 lbs!
You should incorporate this exercise into every workout. If your gym forbids this exercise, then wake up call, pal: Yo ass is in a sissy gym and you gots to get yo ass out of their before you turn into a prissy old lady. Aaa-ight?
If you have any reservations about doing this exercise, then it’s too late for you, because you’ve already become a priss. Get the hell out of here and leave T-Nation to the REAL tough sumbitches.
Fuck I’m so hardcore.