T Nation

Hunting T-Man style


Last night my wife and I heard a noise outside the bedroom window. Since it was dark, I had to go down to the garage to see out the window. There was a racoon!!!! He was probably a foot tall. I tried tapping on the window to scare him out of the trash barrel. That didn't work. I went upstairs with a flash light. We shined the light right in his eyes. He looked at us with a crazy look. Now we began to panick. What if he's rabid? What do we do? We started throwing water bottles at him. He was still there!!!! Do we call the police? Finally, I said to myself 'I'm a T-Man!" With my wife shining the light from upstairs, I opened the garage door about an inch. I slid a broom stick out and rattled the trash barrel. Finally he got the hint and left(looking back, I think he was full). While she kept the light trained on the woods where he strolled off, I cleaned up the trash. What a rush! Nothing gets your blood flowing like a close brush with the wild mother nature. Oh...I gotta go a squirrel wants the computer.


you should have just shot the damn thing, for making a mess that u'd have to clean up.


Wow. Have you never been coon hunting? There nothing to be scared of there bud. But not everyone grows up on a farm


You are on a message board entitled "Testosterone" and you were afraid of a Raccoon? I've had them crawling on me in the Appalachian. They run away when you pull out a 10" knife and start yelling at them.


Umm thats common with black bear in northern and central MN...


next time it happens just hit the damn thing with a baseball bat. you'll laugh like hell.


Yeah, just yell at them. That's worked for me with coons and coyotes. Of couse, I don't see either now that I'm in the city.

~ good laugh man...



I'm in total agreement with tommy2tone.

I opened this thread expecting some sort of account of a hunting trip during which you wrestled a grizzly to the ground, ripped off his genitals and held them in his face as you screamed "I'm the alpha male here, bitch!" then patted the grizzly on the ass as he limped away into the woods, a broken bear.

But instead, its an account of a run in with the mighty raccoon, nature's hobo.

And you didn't even use any guns.

disgusted sigh


How does the gun fit into the T-Man style you wanted???


..well, if you want to discuss semantics of my most assinine, joke of a post, the gun would apply the the raccoon incident, because let's face it, fighting a bear with your hands is manly, but fighting a raccoon with your hands just looks ridiculous.

The bear was just a wish on my part.

.....did I just take the time to explain that?

Yes, yes I did.


I've had those little bastards try to steal the trout I have on the stringer when I'm night fishing!
Cute little bastards though.


I used to live in the Manistee National Forest in Michigan, very remote. Anyhow, I had an Australian shepherd that would get about one coon every 2-3 days in the summer. She could handle most of them by herself but sometimes I had to play Jed Clampett.

I'd put my boots on while still in my tighty whiteys and grab the .22 If I got a good head shot it was all over. Otherwise, I'd get'um in the chest and the dog would take care of the rest.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to try and kill a raccoon when your dog is going ape shit and rushing the coon. I still have that dog, she's 11 years old now and I live in town. But oh the memories.

This one time I just had to use a big stick. I clubbed the thing and the dog did the rest.

Haven't had any problems with coons in a while. Good story though man. Next time just grab a baseball bat and hit the damn thing. The won't come after you.



The gun probably fits in under a man hunting for food. We just evolved a little bit from eating dead animals that other animals killed. We're top of the food chain now, no longer scavangers like the raccoon.



Fun story..thanks.


hit an animal with a baseball bat?

a real t-man leaves the raccoon alone. you might try and secure your garbage better, next time.



This reminds me of the heebs downstairs that keep leaving open garbage out and wondering why the fucking shit is all over the place in the morning. They KEEP DOING IT. I'm sorry but a fucking plastic grocery bag doesn't cut it when you've got leftover fruits and meats rotting in them. I've got an idea. USE FUCKING TRASHCANS YOU ARE GIVEN WHEN YOU MOVE IN.

Sorry about the rant.


Once I was walking across the field that separated my apartment from my gym. It was dusk and I saw what I thought was a dog trotting across the field. It stopped and as I got up on it(maybe 10ft) I realized it was a coyote. It startled me because I was going to pet the thing, so I yelled and threw my keys at it. Missed. It didn't even flinch, just sat there staring at me. We stared at each other for maybe five minutes before a car drove by and the coyote took off. Then I had to go find my keys in the dark.


You threw your keys??? ummm..... why?
thats like throwing a pine cone at somebody. But unlike a pinecone, you cna't just leave your keys it the coyote eats them, cause keys are small, and coyotes eat small things. Unless you have a girlfriend that makes you carry all of her keys, small stuffed animals and other thing just to gay up your key ring. Then your keys will weigh like 80lbs and throwing them will do damage.



It startled me, man. That's my only excuse. I yelled and chucked the keys. It was a manly yell, though.


What a silly question. The first thing a right-winger is going to do is use whatever weapons are available to curb their paranoia. The keys were a pre-emptive strike.