[quote]spar4tee wrote:
Less awkward if she’s 21+.[/quote]
She is just using him to buy beer.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
As long as you are not violating any laws, who gives a shit?
[/quote]
Normally I would feel the same way, and this is how it should be - none of anyone’s damn business, but unfortunately when you’re a school teacher, the rules are a bit different. Sometimes when you’ve unknowingly gone too far in violating some social mores in your personal life, it’s too late to salvage your career. I’m just torn between whether or not people won’t give a s*** or if a few disturbed parents will pitch a fit and it will become a legitimate HR problem with the administration.
I guess it would depend if you have to talk to them.
Do you teach high school? If so there are sure to be some parents that care, right or wrong.
Of course the older they get the less it will matter. You should see the look on my kids face when I remind them that when I was in ninth grade their mom was in fifth.
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
Do you teach high school? If so there are sure to be some parents that care, right or wrong.
Of course the older they get the less it will matter. You should see the look on my kids face when I remind them that when I was in ninth grade their mom was in fifth.[/quote]
I do, mostly juniors and seniors, but my sociology classes have some freshman and sophomores too.
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
As long as you are not violating any laws, who gives a shit?
[/quote]
Sometimes when you’ve unknowingly gone too far in violating some social mores in your personal life, it’s too late to salvage your career.
[/quote]
I know what you’re getting at here. The “if you’re happy, who gives a shit” replies are kind of missing this point. I’m not sure if all the guys here are really grasping how sensitive some high schools are about policing their teachers’ behavior; my sister-in-law is a high-school teacher and has told me tales of how carefully the teachers must conduct their social lives; they can get in trouble for something as minor as a picture on Facebook with a beer in hand - a completely legal activity!!!
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? There’s a little part of me that says if she is still an undergrad, people might be more sensitive than if she has graduated from college (which seems like an arbitrary line, I know). Yes, you’re a legal adult at 18, but a lot of parents think their kids are still “kids” until they graduate from college. If you can keep it on the DL until she graduates (and she really wants this, and you really want this), that might be a slightly safer play.
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
As long as you are not violating any laws, who gives a shit?
[/quote]
Normally I would feel the same way, and this is how it should be - none of anyone’s damn business, but unfortunately when you’re a school teacher, the rules are a bit different. Sometimes when you’ve unknowingly gone too far in violating some social mores in your personal life, it’s too late to salvage your career. I’m just torn between whether or not people won’t give a s*** or if a few disturbed parents will pitch a fit and it will become a legitimate HR problem with the administration.
[/quote]
Well don’t put your livelihood at risk over some poon… Definitely not worth it. Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
Or, go for it, and if they discriminate against you for NOT breaking the law, sue the shit out of them.
Seems like a lot of effort/stress over some pussy.
One of my inlaws pursued and ended up marring one of her college professors. They have been married for 30+ years and are still very happy. He is something like 20 years her senior.
Fuck it. If she is old enough legally, and mature enough to make her own choices in life, do what you think is right.
Don’t take advantage of her, or otherwise manipulate her opinions and you’ll be fine. (IE: don’t be a scumbag, just like you wouldn’t with a woman in her 30’s.)
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? [/quote]
Actually, a junior. 
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
[/quote]
In this case, HR would involve asking either the administration or perhaps asking a colleague who is also a union representative. In either case, I felt it was more of a red flag issue, which is why this venue is really great to have. It’s fairly anonymous here, and you can get a feel for how the average citizen, i.e., guys or gals without a personal bias or a vested stake as a career educator, would view the situation from an ethical or moral standpoint, if it’s even an issue at all.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
Less awkward if she’s 21+.[/quote]
x2
So this chick is most likely a 9 or a 10 right?
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
Less awkward if she’s 21+.[/quote]
She is just using him to buy beer.
[/quote]
Best Answer
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? [/quote]
Actually, a junior.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
[/quote]
In this case, HR would involve asking either the administration or perhaps asking a colleague who is also a union representative. In either case, I felt it was more of a red flag issue, which is why this venue is really great to have. It’s fairly anonymous here, and you can get a feel for how the average citizen, i.e., guys or gals without a personal bias or a vested stake as a career educator, would view the situation from an ethical or moral standpoint, if it’s even an issue at all.
[/quote]
I disagree with asking HR. If she is truly mature, she won’t endanger your career by doing stupid things.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? [/quote]
Actually, a junior.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
[/quote]
In this case, HR would involve asking either the administration or perhaps asking a colleague who is also a union representative. In either case, I felt it was more of a red flag issue, which is why this venue is really great to have. It’s fairly anonymous here, and you can get a feel for how the average citizen, i.e., guys or gals without a personal bias or a vested stake as a career educator, would view the situation from an ethical or moral standpoint, if it’s even an issue at all.
[/quote]
I disagree with asking HR. If she is truly mature, she won’t endanger your career by doing stupid things. [/quote]
You are willing to risk your career when it comes to the perceived maturity of a woman?
Um…
Eh…
Na.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? [/quote]
Actually, a junior.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
[/quote]
In this case, HR would involve asking either the administration or perhaps asking a colleague who is also a union representative. In either case, I felt it was more of a red flag issue, which is why this venue is really great to have. It’s fairly anonymous here, and you can get a feel for how the average citizen, i.e., guys or gals without a personal bias or a vested stake as a career educator, would view the situation from an ethical or moral standpoint, if it’s even an issue at all.
[/quote]
I disagree with asking HR. If she is truly mature, she won’t endanger your career by doing stupid things. [/quote]
You are willing to risk your career when it comes to the perceived maturity of a woman?
Um…
Eh…
Na. [/quote]
Truthfully you risk your career and freedom every time you date or have consensual sex with a woman.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? [/quote]
Actually, a junior.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
[/quote]
In this case, HR would involve asking either the administration or perhaps asking a colleague who is also a union representative. In either case, I felt it was more of a red flag issue, which is why this venue is really great to have. It’s fairly anonymous here, and you can get a feel for how the average citizen, i.e., guys or gals without a personal bias or a vested stake as a career educator, would view the situation from an ethical or moral standpoint, if it’s even an issue at all.
[/quote]
I disagree with asking HR. If she is truly mature, she won’t endanger your career by doing stupid things. [/quote]
You are willing to risk your career when it comes to the perceived maturity of a woman?
Um…
Eh…
Na. [/quote]
Truthfully you risk your career and freedom every time you date or have consensual sex with a woman. [/quote]
I dont.
You do.
We are as Roman Catholic about Feminism as we are about Christianity.
We pretend to care.
We really dont.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[quote]JR249 wrote:
[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:
A question: you said she’s about to turn 21. Is she a senior? [/quote]
Actually, a junior.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Why not ask your HR department and get ahead of any potential fall out? Or would that automatically “red flag” you?
Or, get a job with out a bunch of PC bullshit that limit’s the way you want to live your life with other consenting adults… Just sayin’…
[/quote]
In this case, HR would involve asking either the administration or perhaps asking a colleague who is also a union representative. In either case, I felt it was more of a red flag issue, which is why this venue is really great to have. It’s fairly anonymous here, and you can get a feel for how the average citizen, i.e., guys or gals without a personal bias or a vested stake as a career educator, would view the situation from an ethical or moral standpoint, if it’s even an issue at all.
[/quote]
I disagree with asking HR. If she is truly mature, she won’t endanger your career by doing stupid things. [/quote]
You are willing to risk your career when it comes to the perceived maturity of a woman?
Um…
Eh…
Na. [/quote]
Truthfully you risk your career and freedom every time you date or have consensual sex with a woman. [/quote]
I dont.
You do.
We are as Roman Catholic about Feminism as we are about Christianity.
We pretend to care.
We really dont. [/quote]
I don’t follow you. Are you talking about your home country’s laws/culture?
I just decided that this probably is not a good idea, and honestly this was a great venue to solicit opinions on a completely ‘anonymous’ basis. I’d love to pursue the “I don’t give a f*** what others think” mentality and do my own thing, and ideally I think that’s largely how society should operate when it comes to our sex lives, social lives, etc., as it’s none of anyone’s business, but if you’re a public school teacher you don’t always have that luxury in your personal life.
Some might not understand how a few select professions can force a person to make decisions like this in his or her own personal life outside of the workplace, and that’s fine, but if it has the propensity to look too awkward to the wrong parents or even some of the students, as it did to some of the respondents here, namely because this person is still under age 21, it’s really not worth over 12 years of my reputation as an educator, class sponsor, and at times an assistant coach in this community.
I wasn’t interested in a “hit it and forget it” type of an arrangement, which would then mean it would be forced to be on the down low, and that’s not something that I desire either. It’s nice to have someone to go out with, at least for dinners and such, bring to social affairs, etc. I don’t want a secret lover.
Good discussion gents.
WTF happened to no pic, no advice?
[quote]JR249 wrote:
I just decided that this probably is not a good idea, and honestly this was a great venue to solicit opinions on a completely ‘anonymous’ basis. I’d love to pursue the “I don’t give a f*** what others think” mentality and do my own thing, and ideally I think that’s largely how society should operate when it comes to our sex lives, social lives, etc., as it’s none of anyone’s business, but if you’re a public school teacher you don’t always have that luxury in your personal life.
Some might not understand how a few select professions can force a person to make decisions like this in his or her own personal life outside of the workplace, and that’s fine, but if it has the propensity to look too awkward to the wrong parents or even some of the students, as it did to some of the respondents here, namely because this person is still under age 21, it’s really not worth over 12 years of my reputation as an educator, class sponsor, and at times an assistant coach in this community.
I wasn’t interested in a “hit it and forget it” type of an arrangement, which would then mean it would be forced to be on the down low, and that’s not something that I desire either. It’s nice to have someone to go out with, at least for dinners and such, bring to social affairs, etc. I don’t want a secret lover.
Good discussion gents. :)[/quote]
I feel a little bit bad for playing devil’s advocate now when my first impulse was to give you a great big high-five.
I guess we learn to think with our head sometime in our 30’s.