T Nation

How Tough Are You?


I'm so tough, I use a cheese grater for toilet paper.
I donate every day to the testosterone bank.
I've got two "Y" chromosomes, and no "X" chromosome.
Woman use my Johnson to practice their gymnastics.
My condom size is XXXXXXXXXL.
I was born with 5 or 6 balls, maybe seven. I lost count.
Chuck Norris sees me coming, he crosses to the other side of the street.
I am Kryptonite to all you faux tough guys.
I bitch slap pit bulls just because I can.

You probably don't wanna fuck with me. Bend over to my superiority


I once kicked a big red playground ball so hard it went up on the roof! YAY!

I'm da man! I'm so bad, I should be in detention! I'm da Mannnn.....

(anybody know what song that trails off from?)


I'm the man!!!!! NOT NOT NOT NOT!!!!

Anthrax rocks!


I'm raising 2 daughters.


"I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees,
ain't no doubt about it, baby, it's you I aim to please
I'd wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear,
it's my life baby but, I don't care

Ain't that tuff enough?
Ain't that tuff enough?
Ain't that tuff enough?
Ain't that tuff enough?"

Alright, who sang this one?



Georgia Satellites.


Three for me and get that finger out of my face.


Nope not them. You're thinking bout that wedding song of theirs (satellites).



I am so tough I get drunk and break my friends things.


HA! Hope you guys have more than one bathroom!

And put the seat down once in a while, whydontcha!


It's that dude from the ford commercials, Toby Keith?


In college I lived with girls......

One night at about 3 am one of them bursts into my room, grabs and shakes me.."DON'T EVER.....EVER Leave the toilet seat down..more shaking.....EVER"

I never left it up again......


I'm so tough I can bench the bar, without a spotter!


The Fabulous Thunderbirds?


I took this punk's skateboard and threw it so hard it went into outer space.

...Wait that was Hulk Hogan. nm


Yup, the Fabulous Thunderbirds.



Im gangsta.... like PeeWeeHerman gangsta..


I'm so tough, when I pass Chuck Norris on the street, his shadow runs and hides.


I'm so tough, t-men get me to escort them to their car in the gym parking lot.


Look before you sit down, or put it up for us, hahaha!