T Nation

How Tough Are You?


#1

I'm so tough, I use a cheese grater for toilet paper.
I donate every day to the testosterone bank.
I've got two "Y" chromosomes, and no "X" chromosome.
Woman use my Johnson to practice their gymnastics.
My condom size is XXXXXXXXXL.
I was born with 5 or 6 balls, maybe seven. I lost count.
Chuck Norris sees me coming, he crosses to the other side of the street.
I am Kryptonite to all you faux tough guys.
I bitch slap pit bulls just because I can.

You probably don't wanna fuck with me. Bend over to my superiority


#2

I once kicked a big red playground ball so hard it went up on the roof! YAY!

I’m da man! I’m so bad, I should be in detention! I’m da Mannnn…

(anybody know what song that trails off from?)


#3

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I once kicked a big red playground ball so hard it went up on the roof! YAY!

I’m da man! I’m so bad, I should be in detention! I’m da Mannnn…

(anybody know what song that trails off from?)
[/quote]

I’m the man!!! NOT NOT NOT NOT!!!

Anthrax rocks!


#4

I’m raising 2 daughters.


#5

"I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees,
ain’t no doubt about it, baby, it’s you I aim to please
I’d wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear,
it’s my life baby but, I don’t care

Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?"

Alright, who sang this one?

D


#6

[quote]Dedicated wrote:
"I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees,
ain’t no doubt about it, baby, it’s you I aim to please
I’d wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear,
it’s my life baby but, I don’t care

Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?"

Alright, who sang this one?

D[/quote]

Georgia Satellites.


#7

[quote]Rockscar wrote:
I’m raising 2 daughters.[/quote]

Three for me and get that finger out of my face.


#8

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Dedicated wrote:
"I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees,
ain’t no doubt about it, baby, it’s you I aim to please
I’d wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear,
it’s my life baby but, I don’t care

Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?"

Alright, who sang this one?

D

Georgia Satellites.
[/quote]

Nope not them. You’re thinking bout that wedding song of theirs (satellites).

D


#9

I am so tough I get drunk and break my friends things.


#10

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
I’m raising 2 daughters.

Three for me and get that finger out of my face.[/quote]

HA! Hope you guys have more than one bathroom!

And put the seat down once in a while, whydontcha!


#11

[quote]Dedicated wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
Dedicated wrote:
"I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees,
ain’t no doubt about it, baby, it’s you I aim to please
I’d wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear,
it’s my life baby but, I don’t care

Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?"

Alright, who sang this one?

D

Georgia Satellites.

Nope not them. You’re thinking bout that wedding song of theirs (satellites).

D
[/quote]

It’s that dude from the ford commercials, Toby Keith?


#12

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
I’m raising 2 daughters.

Three for me and get that finger out of my face.

HA! Hope you guys have more than one bathroom!

And put the seat down once in a while, whydontcha!

[/quote]

In college I lived with girls…

One night at about 3 am one of them bursts into my room, grabs and shakes me…“DON’T EVER…EVER Leave the toilet seat down…more shaking…EVER”

I never left it up again…


#13

I’m so tough I can bench the bar, without a spotter!


#14

[quote]Dedicated wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
Dedicated wrote:
"I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees,
ain’t no doubt about it, baby, it’s you I aim to please
I’d wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear,
it’s my life baby but, I don’t care

Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?
Ain’t that tuff enough?"

Alright, who sang this one?

D

Georgia Satellites.

Nope not them. You’re thinking bout that wedding song of theirs (satellites).

D
[/quote]
The Fabulous Thunderbirds?


#15

I took this punk’s skateboard and threw it so hard it went into outer space.

…Wait that was Hulk Hogan. nm


#16

[quote]Neuromancer wrote:

Nope not them. You’re thinking bout that wedding song of theirs (satellites).

D

The Fabulous Thunderbirds?
[/quote]

Yup, the Fabulous Thunderbirds.

D


#17

Im gangsta… like PeeWeeHerman gangsta…
YEAH, IM ONE BAD MUTHAF__KA!


#18

I’m so tough, when I pass Chuck Norris on the street, his shadow runs and hides.


#19

I’m so tough, t-men get me to escort them to their car in the gym parking lot.


#20

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
I’m raising 2 daughters.

Three for me and get that finger out of my face.

HA! Hope you guys have more than one bathroom!

And put the seat down once in a while, whydontcha!

[/quote]

Look before you sit down, or put it up for us, hahaha!