T Nation

How to talk to 2 girls

Ok, well all know by now how to go up to a girl and start a conversation. I’ll admit I still have a little trouble doing it, but I know how. Anyway, here’s my recent problem. When I’m at the gym, I see 2 girls working out. Both are fairly attractive, but one definatley stands out. How do you go up to both girls and start a conversation knowing you only want one of them. I don’t want to seem like a jerk my ignoring the less attractive girl, but I dont’ want her to think I’m trying to hook up with her. any ideas?

Look this has gotta be the hardest situation. My job requires me to fight alot and get involved in situations that on the street i would avoid (i.e. big 30 person rumbles, people with weapons, 16 year old girls on overdrive because their favorite teenie band is playing). But when it comes to walking up to a woman and starting a converstion, especially in the situation you are talking about, I would rather face 20 neo-nazi’s brandishing knives then walk up to them and say hello. Its scary as hell and I get a bigger rush from doing it than from any fighting i have ever done. The trick is to enjoy it. You’re gonna get sweaty palms, you’re gonna feel like dropping a 45pd weight plate on your toe is more agreeable to you, but you just have to suck it up and do it. In this situation just start talking to both of them. Introduce yourself and just make some conversation. Whenever you see them at the gym go up and make some idle conversation, they will get the idea that you are interested in one of them. Women are pretty tricky at figuring these things out way before you do. Then when the one you dont’ want heads off to the bathroom or to the water fountain, walk up and state your real intentions. Ask her to dinner, movie, after workout shake…whatever. Thats just my advice. Good luck.

Well think of it this way, how would you feel if someone come up and started trying to talk to you while you were working out? Would you be happy?

Save the pickup techniques for the clubs and bars. Gyms are for working out -not making out.

You should NOT ignore the less attractive one. Talk to both of 'em, be a good sport and they will think you are cool. Get to know them, and in 2-3 days, when you come up to them, one of them will leave. The one who stays you’ve got a chance with. (Although in my case, I always get the less attractive of the two… Whaddayagonnado).

I have to disagree with Random on a point – I think there is really only a couple places where it would be inappropriate to ask for a date (or to hook up for lunch or whatever). That would be following her into a ladies restroom, or at a funeral. Why not try to hook up with BOTH of them for lunch at the same time? Sounds wierd? Be friendly first. Actually the art of talking to women is just the art of talking to PEOPLE. If you tend not to start conversations with total strangers, then try to start one with a woman you are attracted to, you’ll be nervous and possibly stumble. The secret is to start conversations everywhere you go, and you’ll become comfortable talking with all kinds of people. Eventually what you’ll find is that you end up starting a conversation, and later find you’re attracted to the lady. It’s actually pretty easy to find out a lot about a person just by asking a few questions in friendly banter. Bouncer1’s suggestions are good also.

I’ll probably get beat up for saying this, but the problem is that you’ve already written one of them off because of appearance. You also assume that either of them would want you. Quite possibly the less attractive girl would not be interested in you. Why not meet someone and talk to them before writing them off? It would probably expand your universe greatly and you may find that you have more in common than you think with the less attactive girl. Also, respecting and treating both women with respect will get you a lot farther with the person you’re interested in.