T Nation

How to steal a babe

RockClimberJoe told me I’d get some good feedback here, so here I go.

This girl I’ve known for a couple of years has this guy for a bf who doesn’t treat her that great. (yes, I’ve read the T-article about how being an ass will get the girls). Basically, she’s always there for him but not vice-versa.

More to my problem, this girl is athletic but she had taken a big hiatus from lifting so I was getting her back into it. After lifting with me (i’m an athlete), she told me she was thinking of trying out for the team again for her last year in college.

So now she is going to be lifting with her teammates / strength coach and not me.

The reason I haven’t written her off as a lost cause is that lately she’s been interested in my life, and seems to be get more excited when I’m around, etc.

Any thoughts from you guys on how to steal this babe? This girls a real keeper.

All I have to say is thats not cool. Tell her to talk to her boyfriend about how he treats her and if it doesn’t change then she should just get rid of him. I was that bad boyfriend once, and someone almost stole her away from me. SAME exact scenario, but I realized what I was doing and changed for her. Like I said, that’s not cool.

I saw this on the Maxim site a long time ago. It’s called…guess what…

Steal the Girl!
A no-fail plan for commandeering someone else’s girlfriend.

Maxim

Step #1: Case the joint.[I think you’ve already done this]
Without becoming a stalker, get close to this girl—join her pottery class, hang out at her health club, befriend her roommate—and worm your way into her confidence by any means necessary.

Step #2: Show her your stuff.
In your one-on-one talks with her, find excuses to talk about your strengths and Dickhead’s shortcomings. Use backhanded compliments, like: “I really envy Joe’s ability to make ends meet on his salary. Personally, I just don’t think I could do it.”

Step #3: Start sabotaging your rival.
If you’ve planted the seeds of doubt, tension will start to grow between Dipshit and his girlfriend. He will be looking for answers—and you, his gal’s new chum, will be in a prime position to besiege him with crummy advice. Tell him she hates public displays of affection; claim the surprise trip he’s planning will only scare her off…you get the idea. As you comb the romance out of their relationship, keep asking her, “What’s wrong? You seem down lately…”

Step #4: Be there for her.
As your advice to him sours things again and again, at some point The Dork King’s going to get wise and stop listening to you. Suddenly your relationship with her—the deep conversations, the long walks, yadda yadda yadda—will start bugging him worse than inflamed hemorrhoids on a six-month cattle drive. He’ll tell her to stop seeing you; she’ll accuse him of being an overprotective meathead; and she’ll gravitate to you, the only guy who understands her.

Step #5: Finish him off.
For the coup de grace: Become the most sensitive son of a bitch she ever laid eyes on, especially when they fight. The more she obsesses about what’s wrong with her current guy, the sooner she’ll realize she needs a guy more like—hey, what are you doing Friday night?

This isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m going to say it. Stealing a g/f from somebody is the most fucked up thing any guy can do to somebody else. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like some guy trying to get with a g/f of yours. Even though this guys a dick or treats her bad it still isn’t an excuse in my book to steal her away. If she breaks up with him without you coercing her then I think its all good. Remember if she can dump him for you… then whats gonna stop her from dumping you for somebody better?

It’s funny I can get a girl for another guy, but I can’t get one for myself.

If you truly care for this lady, then befriend her boyfriend and help him change to keep her. She obviously cares for him, so help her out by helping him. Stealing her away only makes you a prick.

Let me understand something … so it’s wrong to rescue a girl from an unappreciative, insensitive guy? Something tells me there are some guys on this list who are insecure about the ways they treat their girlfriends. They know, “I’m not very good to my own gf. If I encourage other guys to offer my gf a way out of this horrible relationship, I won’t be able to use this girl any longer.” People are subjects, to be cared for! Not objects to be used! Bro, go for it. Rescue this damsal from her tyrannical boyfriend. It’s your MORAL duty.

I really don’t think you can “steal” someones girlfriend. Even if you try to be underhanded and manipulate her the underlying seeds of dissatisfaction must still be present. It has been my experience that most women hate being alone and will stay in an unhappy relationship until they find someone else to date. I know from experience, being on the wrong end of a “stolen” girlfriend. When I was younger, I didn’t treat my girlfriends very well , “neglecting their emotional needs” and spending all of my time hanging with friends. However, they would stay even though they were unhappy, until they found someone else to date. You could just throw out a comment like, “I would love to date someone like you” etc., just work it into a conversation. If she likes you and is truly dissatisfied she may “jump ship.” Just remember my friends dating rule #3, “They always go back to their ex.”

Why couldn’t those damn terrorists wait until you were in the World Trade Center Towers before they crashed their stupid-selves into it?

Thanks for the advice Natey, MCC and JavaGuru.
I realize its not really “stealing” since she will make the decision, but I do need some perspective on what her emotional state is.
I’ll start hanging out with her more.

To the others, If I thought this guy would treat her well, then fine but there is no chance of that. Besides, I didn’t ask if you thought it was right or wrong.

I notice Whopper gave some good advice to a guy who had this girl as a friend (get drunk – or pretend to – invite her over and kiss her). Got any more ideas from your black book whopper?

I’ll keep you posted.

I always opt for the straightup approach myself. Obviously it’s her choice so why not give her a decision to make. You have to tread lightly because you don’t want to say disrespectful things of her relationship. That could blowup in your face. I would simply let her know how much your relationship with her means to you and in a tactful way let her know that if she ever decides to call it quits with the ole BF that you would be interested in pursuing a relationship with her if she felt the same way. Now that she knows your interest then she can make a choice. I would not pursue her and make sure she understood that I wouldn’t pursue her out of respect for her as long as she was still with her BF. I wouldn’t want her to feel that she had to choose me or lose me if I still wanted to retain the friendship because overtime she may come to realize that you are the one.

fuck off. how dare you use the september 11th tragedy to criticize somebody’s intentions, no matter how wrong you believe them to be. thats wrong. how heartless can you be?

OK lets get real. First of all do you really want a no respect giving bitch that could be stolen? OK I go for quality women. If they are on the creap they have nothing to do with me. What you are fogetting is that she would have to have a part in this. Everything everyone else is saying excludes the fact that this woman is just as much the problem as the asshole guy. I am sorry but if she is taking it tough shit. I know women who are not sasiated as human beings unless they are getting dumped on. That may be her gig. Sounds like she already has low self esteme should be really easy to manipulate but do you really want that. The better ones have good self esteem, good self image, and are stong internally and externally now they are much more fun. I would not have a woman who can be stolen cause if I can steal her so can any other dude.

I don’t think it’s that easy to “steal” a girl - not unless she’s already looking for a way out. She’s not married and her boyfriend is a possible creep, it can’t hurt to try to see if she’s interested in you.

The use of the Sept. 11 event describes how severe I feel it would be to “steal a babe”. It would be different if he waited until they broke up. And no, I am not going to “fuck off”. If I feel like using a severe example as an analogy to describe how terrible I believe his intentions to be, then I will exercise my freedom of speech (as intrepreted by the moderators) to do so.

dude, looks like you have a case of ONEitis. If you could fuck 10 other women that are more attractive and are more interesting than this chick, would you still have the urge to go out with her? Don’t think so. Who needs to go through all this shit to get laid and have a “connection.”

Ok, first you need some bait. Diamonds work, but try zircons that are bright and sparkly …failing that leave a pair of women’s shoes on a trail that she normally takes.

Ok… now you’re going to need a really big net…

Okay, so you need to convince this girl that she doesn’t need to stay with her current b/f. The relationship is already dead anyways right? She’s coming to YOU for support, right?

Also, if she perks up when you are around, she probably already likes you. What was she like the first time you met? Usually people’s first
reactions are best indicators of if you have instant chemistry or not.

I’d start by doing things together and be there for her but be keep yourself emotionally distant. At some point, you should hint at how you feel about her. Sometimes indirect is better than direct.

Some people on here who reacted vehemently to this post need to look at why they feel so. Gotten burned in the past, one too many times? You should learn that YOU are doing something wrong if you lose a girl. Survival of the fittest. People aren’t gonna look the other way if they see you taking advantage of something they respect or want or need.

Govanion, steal my wife, PLEASE. Oooops,just kidding Mrs. R.

You must become the man who listens to her, who understands her - without becoming her friend. If you become her friend, you lose.

When you talk to her, just listen. Make eye contact … probing eye contact. When she talks, attend to her as if the rest of the world has stopped. When she stops talking, ask a follow-up question regarding what she said. This will get her talking again. When she asks about your life, try to sound disinterested. Say, “Well, I know enough about me … I am more interested in you than I am in talking about myself.” She will usually say, “But I want to get to know you, too.” From here you make a strategic move. You say, “I feel weird revealing myself this way to you. I tell you things about myself, which I have never even told a gilfriend.” Emphasize never even to let her know you think the connection you share with her is much, much deeper than any before her. As your conversations progress, become a bit wounded. Say, “I feel weird talking to you about all this stuff. It’s, like, it’s just that I get the feeling you go tell your boyfriend everything I say … and then you make fun of me … as if I am not a real man … as if I’m too sensitive to be a real man.” Naturally, she will realize you are a real man for sharing such deep feelings. She might even feel a bit guilty that you think she makes fun of you with her boyfriend. She will think, “Yeah, I could never talk to my boyfriend about this stuff. He really is an asshole.” Moreover, you want to shut down communication between her boyfriend and yourself. You want her to talk to him about nothing. If you are a big part of her life, then she will lose a big piece of communication she would otherwise have had with her boyfriend. Your coup-de-grace will come later. If what I have written interests you, tell me you would like to hear more.