T Nation

How to Sack a Coach?

Hi friends,

So as you all know I have moved to the outback and have joined the local soccer team. The club has great facilities, a few decent players and it has the ambitions of moving up in the divisions. One problem; the coach is shit.

The coach seems to be only coaching as he has family history in the club. He only attends one training session out of 2 every weeks, and he doesnt attend the away games(every second week). He has poor understanding of the game, but is arrogant and thinks he does.

He is very nice to me and everyone is nice to each other at the club. There seems to be no real committee at the club, and lacks leadership and “footballing know-how”.

Im getting frustrated and I am not sure what to do. Do I try and ask if I can coach a couple of sessions? Do I voice my concerns to the coach, or the captain? Should I just retire?

Help birdy out here.

tweet

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

Not sure how long you have been playing for this team, but coming in and making big waves like this isn’t likely to make you many friends.

I always LOL at the “Hi Friends” part.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I always LOL at the “Hi Friends” part.

[/quote]

I know what you mean…it makes me think of Emo Phillips saying it all.

[quote]theBird wrote:
Hi friends,

So as you all know I have moved to the outback and have joined the local soccer team. The club has great facilities, a few decent players and it has the ambitions of moving up in the divisions. One problem; the coach is shit.

The coach seems to be only coaching as he has family history in the club. He only attends one training session out of 2 every weeks, and he doesnt attend the away games(every second week). He has poor understanding of the game, but is arrogant and thinks he does.

He is very nice to me and everyone is nice to each other at the club. There seems to be no real committee at the club, and lacks leadership and “footballing know-how”.

Im getting frustrated and I am not sure what to do. Do I try and ask if I can coach a couple of sessions? Do I voice my concerns to the coach, or the captain? Should I just retire?

Help birdy out here.

tweet[/quote]

Hey Little Buddy,

I’d suggest getting firmly established as a solid, reliable pillar in your team (you’ve been there for all of a few weeks?) before even hinting at trying your hand at a mutiny. Seriously? As far as your “club” is concerned, you already have a coach and he has family in the club that gives him a decent enough foothold on the position through nepotism and you, as the new guy, would be hard pressed to vie for the position as a player/coach without stirring up a hornet’s nest within both the club/team and the owners.

Bird- don’t let one inept individual indirectly end your football career
does the rest of the team share this sentiment
sneak one of the thousands of poisonous snakes in your immediate area into his bed, the perfect crime…

Throw an out route to the sideline where he’s standing…

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
Throw an out route to the sideline where he’s standing…

Not that kind of football…but I like the way you think :slight_smile:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Hi friends,

So as you all know I have moved to the outback and have joined the local soccer team. The club has great facilities, a few decent players and it has the ambitions of moving up in the divisions. One problem; the coach is shit.

The coach seems to be only coaching as he has family history in the club. He only attends one training session out of 2 every weeks, and he doesnt attend the away games(every second week). He has poor understanding of the game, but is arrogant and thinks he does.

He is very nice to me and everyone is nice to each other at the club. There seems to be no real committee at the club, and lacks leadership and “footballing know-how”.

Im getting frustrated and I am not sure what to do. Do I try and ask if I can coach a couple of sessions? Do I voice my concerns to the coach, or the captain? Should I just retire?

Help birdy out here.

tweet[/quote]

Hey Little Buddy,

I’d suggest getting firmly established as a solid, reliable pillar in your team (you’ve been there for all of a few weeks?) before even hinting at trying your hand at a mutiny. Seriously? As far as your “club” is concerned, you already have a coach and he has family in the club that gives him a decent enough foothold on the position through nepotism and you, as the new guy, would be hard pressed to vie for the position as a player/coach without stirring up a hornet’s nest within both the club/team and the owners.
[/quote]

X2. Prove your worth if you haven’t already before you even think about shot-calling.

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I always LOL at the “Hi Friends” part.

[/quote]

I know what you mean…it makes me think of Emo Phillips saying it all.[/quote]

Hey, I remember this guy! I think he spawned the entire “emo” crybaby music/lifestyle thing. As far as truly off the wall comedians went, I always preferred Stephen Wright with his bizarre musings delivered in a half-asleep voice over Emo’s whining. Phillips was like a less masculine version of Pauly Shore. He sort of hinted at what the result might be if Peewee Herman fathered a kid with Rosie O’Donnell.

Anyway, back to Bird’s problem…
Why not just do what Trump would do? Call the coach in and simply say, “You’re fired.”

[quote]theBird wrote:
Do I try and ask if I can coach a couple of sessions? [/quote]
F**k no. You don’t like the way he coaches so your going to recommend yourself? That will get you nowhere with the coaching staff and laughed at in the locker room.

[quote]
Do I voice my concerns to the coach, or the captain? [/quote]
No, because you will lose your deniability. In a world of information just make sure his coaching or lack there of is transparent to everyone. I don’t mean the staff if nepotism is present, I mean the team and the fans. Start an anonymous blog detailing the coaching style of the program not singling him out.

Be as factual as possible with as little bias as possible. If he fucks up in a royal way and it is kept quiet drop a letter to a local paper but make sure the facts are true and unbiased. If your opinion is bias your blog and letters will reek of disgruntled butt-hurt.

If everyone agrees with you fans will start to turn on the program and nothing gets a coach fired faster than pissed off fans.

[quote]
Should I just retire?[/quote]
Yeah, or you could just leave.

I dunno… maybe it’s just where my mind’s been lately, but everytime I see this thread title in the GAL list, I think it says “How To Suck a Cock”.

lol

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I dunno… maybe it’s just where my mind’s been lately, but everytime I see this thread title in the GAL list, I think it says “How To Suck a Cock”.

lol[/quote]

…or something about getting a coach in the sack…?

Just spread rumours… about him fondling little boys…

[quote]postholedigger wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I dunno… maybe it’s just where my mind’s been lately, but everytime I see this thread title in the GAL list, I think it says “How To Suck a Cock”.

lol[/quote]

…or something about getting a coach in the sack…?[/quote]

LOL

Either way, when you see the author is The Bird, it kind of fits!

I keeed, I keed!

I actually am always pleasantly amused by The Bird. He’s an integral part of the social fabric around here. At least for non-posturing comic relief!

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I dunno… maybe it’s just where my mind’s been lately, but everytime I see this thread title in the GAL list, I think it says “How To Suck a Cock”.

lol[/quote]

LMFAO!!

I get that with a new poster here… whenever I see his name, I read it ‘dildo’’. Lol

Thanks friends,

Some really good advice in here. And yes, a few of the guys in the team have the same concerns as me. Infact the last training session was so shit, that one of the players started to do hill sprints by himself after training just to blow off some steam.

Ok, so this is what I am going to do;

  1. Put in some really good performances on game day. Giving it all I got. Also trying to be a leader on the field with lots of encouragement to the younger guys. I need to build up my reputation. 2-3 best on round performances is what is needed.

  2. Get friendly with the coaches assistant. This guy takes training on Tuesdays and is a pretty good dude. He likes to ride bikes aswell, so I am going to go on a bike ride with him, buy him a coffee or 2 and slowly convince him that we need to sack the head coach, and maybe even convinving him to let me a have go at taking a session or 2.

  3. I have to stay positive. I have to keep training. My take-over attempt is not going to happen over night, but it will happen.

For a more in depth view of theBirds trials and tribulations please visit my training log;

tweet

Come on Little buddy,

It’ll take more than just a few good performances in some games to gain the full respect and trust of your teammates and assistant coaching team to where they’ll support you in an uprising. Those things you mentioned, they’re a good start in getting a good foothold to get where you want to be. But if nepotism got this guy his job and there’s a good chance that he still has some club support, your “new guy who seems to be trying to get friendly with the assistant coach and the younger guys” thing is bound to foster some resentment not only in the current coach and his supporters but also in the people you’re trying to foster to support your uprising when your motives become apparent and they feel used or become ostracized along with you if the uprising doesn’t succeed. What you’re proposing is something I would try if I were a veteran or had a season at least with the team and was already looked up to within the team for leadership and encouragement. I understand where you’re coming from and I’ll bet it’s not easy to endure a useless coach but with your positivity and training, throw in some patience. The opportunity may well present itself with time.

But hey, that’s just my take.

I had to retire because a coach and the club owner went full retard and I got trapped. You’re not in an easy situation because if you try to spark some kind of rebellion, people will most likely side with the strongest part…and that’s not you.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I dunno… maybe it’s just where my mind’s been lately, but everytime I see this thread title in the GAL list, I think it says “How To Suck a Cock”.

lol[/quote]

I keep getting this awful image of the bird trying to teabag his coach in his sleep.