Consider this more of a rant than actually expecting any productive advice. Also this is nice and anonymous.
So my best friend of… oh… 18 years or so…
I’m quickly coming to terms with the fact hes just… not a great person.
We’ve been virtually inseparable since the 4th grade, (26 now) and somewhere we branched paths. I’m not extremely successful by any stretch, but I’m doing well for myself. I have a great job, with great benefits, and a lot of room to grow. I’ve got a house, a stable relationship. Barring the flooded house, I’ve had a very strict lifting regimen. I keep a good schedule for most things… and hes been there for all of it. (currently renting a room to him)
However, first and foremost, hes an alcoholic. Hes borderline sociopathic; he will say absolutely whatever it takes to have it his way, he has the prototypical “skinny guy treats women like shit” attitude, he cant let anything go, critically depressed… I mean the list just goes on and on… and all of it is completely preventable. I get alcoholism, I’ve delt with it my entire life (family), but everything else he does is completely self provoked. He soberly makes decisions that he knows will have a poor outcome, get drunk to get over the issues, then hide himself in his room for days on end in a depressed funk. His current train is being about emotionally stable as a 13y old girl, over a chick that he cheated on, treated like shit, and threatened, so she dumped him.
We’ve had some… loud talks… that have devolved into him being a sobbing mess of a man, and me being WAY out of my comfort zone… I’m extremely passive about most things, but it’s never made a difference.
I should note he has a lung disease, and is medically unable to work, but I have a hard time believing this is the root, hes knows about that for… at least a decade, and could live a productive, full life if he did his treatments (were talking maybe 30 minutes out of his day)
I don’t think he’s beyond help, he’s fairly intelligent… errr… well read I should say, he is conscious of what he’s doing, he has bouts of wanting to be better, but it just all gets drowned by self induced pity parties, and him thinking the world is against him.
I was pretty edgy in high school, we both were, but he just never lost it. I try my best not to be judgemental of anyone, but it’s hard when we’ve lived basically the same life, and my girlfriend and I have offered to take him with us as far as he wants, and he still just shits the bed.
I dont want to just ignore it, but I also have 0 patience left to fight it. I’ve got a full time job, 45 - 60 hours a week, a flooded house that I’m about 80% responsible for fixing (I am NOT handy…) a significant other to properly spend time with, and a bunch of other shit all you guys have to deal with.
That’s about it. Feels good to get it in front of me.