T Nation

How To Have A Good Weekend

I was going to bump this in the silicone thread, but this story is too damn good not to share. I’ve had a bad year, but I just had the greatest weekend of my career…and breast implants were involved! Here’s the rundown:

1.Drove home to be in my best friend’s wedding.

2.Got pissed off at psycho ex gf over the phone on the way. Grew a sack, told her I never wanted to talk to her again.

3.Met one of the bridesmaids at rehearsal dinner: a beautiful sweetheart of a girl with a tight little body and a huge breast-implanted rack. Sweet.

4.Went out to club with new friend. Made it a point to be seen in hometown with a girl much finer than my ex. Played tonsil hockey, played with funbags, and dry humped hottie on dance floor. Scene was witnessed by two female friends of my ex. They congratulated me as they realize my ex is a skank. One of them tells me she always wanted me, lets me kiss her nipples while date is in bathroom. Yum.

5.Despite the best efforts of her cock-blocking disapproving friend (my partner in wedding), got nekkid with bridesmaid in hotel. Bitchy friend stomped out, got her own room. Laid the wood.

5.Angry friend left hotel room door propped open on her way out.

6.Rudest awakening: bride comes to hotel in morning, barges in room, sees two members of wedding party looking like drunken nekkid train wrecks. Bride goes apeshit because her girl slept through hair appointment. Approx. 30 F-bombs are dropped, things are thrown, they leave, I go back to sleep.

7.Wedding goes great. My three closest boys in the world and I, along with the rest of wedding party, kill 10 bottles of champagne, 3 bottles of Crown in limo bus before reception.

8.We eat, drink, be merry. Everyone at reception somehow knows that I hooked up. I lose track of the number of people who come up to me and say “strong work brother.”

9.We go to the bar to continue the party. My ex calls me 5 times bitching. I have my new friend answer. She decides to have her tough guy friend call me and threaten me. I laugh and tell him I’ll have to call him back because I have a fine bridesmaid to go nail.

10.We go to hotel, you know the rest.

11.She takes me to breakfast, gives me her number and a necklace given to her by the bride as something to remember her by.

12.Bride’s father takes her to airport, she flies home to other side of country.

13.I go to bride’s house to say goodbye, bride’s father pulls me aside and tells me that the girl is in love with me, and that I should fly out to see her asap, then marry her.

Life is good. Pictures will be posted pending her approval.

hotchie motchie!

SCRUB: First of all, kudos for a good fuck (sounds like it at least) AND resetting the balance straight in ex matters.

A couple of things though…

  1. A girl falls in love after one day and one night of hot sex? Really? Seems that girl could be suffering from infatuation or the mystery of the new guy thing or just plain immature…youll have to find out by yourself...I know that some girls fall in love (and go crazy) because of a dick (the organ, not the guy) or because its the first time they get fucked the right way and they never want to lose that really felt orgasm goldmine…

  2. I don`t want to bust your bubble, but if it was that easy for her to fall in love with you, how many times do you think this scenario has happened with others ?

  3. I remember reading a study that said that siliconed women are most of the time of the needy (attention, etc.) profile. Would this be the case?

Just my 2 cents.

You could have the genuine item too, though. Some things you never know in advance. Keep digging ;0)

Scrub that is quality… Fair play to you…

Are you going to see the bridesmaid again…?


Man I hate you. I would have PM flamed you if it turned into a three way with the dance floor nipple kissee. Why do old folks equate good sex with the need to get married?

Good job on nailing the bridesmaid but you kinda sound like a 16 year old.All this shit about making your ex jealous is soooooo “highschool”.

Wow! That is outstanding.

So, which was best, the dissing of the Ex or the sex? Long time ago but I had a similar experience after breaking up with long time girlfriend. (we’ve got to discuss temporary psychosis that seems to cause in males 18 to 25 at some point). I think it was Ex KNOWING more than actual sex.

did you bust on her face?

Scrub,Fuckin way to go brother!!!

i just broke up with a crazy girl of 3 1/2 years so i have made it a point to hook up with a few girls she went to school with just so that shit gets back to her!

Run for your life Scrubby. Methinks you just dove from the frying pan and are about to land in the fire.

Nice. You know what they say: Good things come to those who grow a sack.

I’m with Avoids. Sounds like you’ve jumped form one psycho to another. Hope it’s not so, but I can’t see it any other way.

Scrub, I’m so happy for you dude, after all that drama it’s good to get some wedding time tail.

However, caution must be used when dealing with this new girl, I have to agree with Brider. Once the wedding cloud lifts, things can get weird.

Blah blah blah…fuck all that shit, just keep it up, that’s the thing, jeah.

Details…how many times were you able to make her scream your name?

Any claw marks down your lats??

Hope it was as good for her as you are leading us to believe it was for you!

Glad you had a good time.

Scrub Scrub Scrub,
My friend…VERY impressed! That was quite the story. But yeah, I’m with Brider and the like…if she is saying, “I love him” after only one night, she has issues. But fuck it, you had a good time and you dig her, so that is all that matters.

And yeah, pics would be fantastic.

Hey, I realize it is/was an infatuation. Of course we’re not serious about love and marriage, we just had a great time. I’m sure she was just trying to make a point. I’m probably not going to get serious with someone who lives on the other side of the country. We made a connection and she helped me to remove my head from my own ass. Whether or not I ever see this girl again, I’ll always be grateful for that. She showed me that there are much better girls out there, and I’d rather be alone than with someone who sucks.

Geez, what’s the big deal? I said goodbye to a girl I was with for 2 yrs and I feel like a million bucks. You’re usually bummed when that happens, but it couldn’t have worked out any better. In the end, the dark side will always lose.

nice work Scrub.

Awaiting pictures…

Dude, you’ll go back to your ex. You can stick it in her butt, from what you say. You’ve gone back to her before, and you’ll do it again.

Freaky circus-sex is the best way to end a relationship when you know its not good for you. Provides the needed distraction so you don’t feel like you are missing out.