T Nation

How to Get People to Listen?



Just needed to vent my spleen on here because I am a little pissed off. Someone come to last week and ask for advice on powerlifting, competing, training etc and I agreed to help her. So down to the gym she comes and shows me her squat and deadlift technique - they were both fucking awful. Falling forward on the squat, using a snatch grip on her deadlift thinking this was the correct hand position, pulling with her back instead of driving with her legs, half rep squats - basically all the main problems a beginner has.

Then I find out she has been paying a person trainer £35 per hour to teach her how to train. I gave her an hour of my time for nothing and lo and behold she squatted better and her deadlift balance improved. Now she has gone back to her personal trainer who has rubbished everything I have said and now she has fucked me off saying that she is getting conflicting advice.

I did refrain from telling her I made my England debut several weeks before simply because I didnt want to come off like an arrogant cock and this personal trainer initially thought that the Olympic lifts were powerlifting.

I dont get it - she still wants to compete but doesnt want my advice even though I said straight off that her lifts wouldnt pass in a competition.

I am no expert but still feel like I have a bank of knowledge that can benefit people who are just starting out (plus the degree I did at University and got me into loads of debt must be worth something!). I am sick of people not using their common sense and realising when they are being ripped off.

Rant over!!!!


Tell her that she can hire you to help her out, or there is nothing you can do. SImple as that.


Video her and show her what her form looks like. Then go over the rulebook for the federation she wants to compete in and ask her if she'd pass herself. Well, normally, you wouldn't even need to ask her. She'd just realize on her own that her trainer sucks.


I was gonna say you can't make someone listen, but this sounds like a much better idea.


This was a regular occurence at my University gym and it got to the point Id get so angry going there I couldnt focus on my own training (people asking what I was doing, telling me I was doing things wrong, trainers teaching half squats/ bench, you name it). In the end I said F it and everyone who's to stupid to realize whats going on deserves to get screwed over and I moved myself to a powerlifting gym and never looked back. Anyone who wants my help can come train with me, if they dont like it F it their loss.


And this affects you how?


Let her learn the hard way. Red lights on the platform and a trashed body.




Have to agree with Kp on this one. I too have spent time with people doing some video and form, only to have them run back to their respective trainers, who then berate my work. Death to Fitness(trainers) most of whom are useless vaginas...


Who cares?

Ignore her and focus on your training.

If she wants to be a terrible powerlifter, that's her choice. Obviously she doesn't know what she's doing because if she had any idea what Powerlifting is she'd know not to use a snatch grip on her pulls.

If still care, (which you shouldn't) just lead by example, she'll eventually come around


You should have got a t-shirt like me, one that says on it's back 'Fuck off, I am Powerlifting." With the traditional 3 pictures of the guy benching, squatting and deading.


Who gives a damn? If someone chooses to be stupid, let em.


he is pissed because he wasted an hour of his time, at her request, only to have it thrown back in his face and told he was wrong (which he wasnt)

maybe she got powerlifting/olypic mixed up? people do it all the time when they ask me what im doing


he's pissed because he missed a chance to PIIH... nevermind


Her current hip flexibility is insufficient for... 'the competition'... OP is upset that he won't be able to train her more and show her that "it's all in the hips"

But seriously, I'm not a big fan of seeing people I know and actually like fail (especially those who ask me for any advice on training). Can empathize. But stubborn people are stubborn and need to realize they're wrong on their own before they will come to Jesus.


No one is a fan of seeing their advice thrown back in their face, but its happened to any serious lifter, it sucks, move on and stop giving advice unless they prove they are serious about it.


what snapper said x2.


Unfortunately if she can't differentiate between good and bad advice, that's her problem. Aggravating to deal with but those are the breaks.


I hate this too! Drives me nuts. As a trainer I get hit up all the time for "free" advice. I try to help my friends out, but have found if I don't charge them they don't listen or take my advice. I simply now tell 90% of them if they want my help/input they need to pay for it. Not trying to be an ass to anyone but it's my job.

As for the conflicting advice well go from thread to thread on here and you get that. Most training certs don't go through the different styles of lifting power, oly etc. If she comes back again lay it out there for her on what you do and why it is done that way. I hate when people tell me something and don't have proof to back it up. Maybe she listen maybe not. Most people here in the US don't listen unless it cost them something.


So you wasted an hour of your time. So what. It could have easily been several months.

Her trainer is not going to tell her, or anyone else that anyone is smarter tha him. That's simply bad buiness.

I don't think you will ever see the young lady competing in Powerlifting. I think her interest was of another variety of activity, and you just read it wrong.

Congrats on your first meet by the way. What was your total?