How to Get my Parents to Understand Me

Fuck me, find another hobby. Obviously basketball, lifting and forums are not your strong suit. Maybe try chess?

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Knew guys like that in the Army. They ended up getting themselves or others killed.

As an employer, know plenty of short-time employees like that. They are disproportionately contained in the Millennial generation. I try to fire them before they break something, kill someone, or kill themselves. Just shitty to work around.

What you need is a giant serving of humble pie. You will end up a burned out pyscho who kills his parents for inheritance money, at best, unless you change your attitude.

You deserve nothing. You must earn any respect you get. You are in a particularly bad spot because your not starting from zero, but somewhere negative because you are an asshole.

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Time to apologize to the parents and join a rec league. That’s where you’re at bud.

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Brother, I don’t even care for basketball but I can tell you as a former D1 hockey player that you’re dramatically overselling yourself on the importance of work ethic and practice.

Don’t misinterpret that statement; I’ll come back to it in a minute.

By the time you are 17 years old you need to already be actively scouted by schools if you think you have a prayer at playing at a D1 level. As others have said, your absolute lack of exposure makes the odds of you going to a D1 school FOR basketball virtually none existent. This is just the nature of the beast. If you don’t already have college recruiters and scouts talking to you and your family, it isn’t happening for you.

Now, the route of getting an academic scholarship and trying to attain a walk on try out has been brought up. This is significantly MORE likely for you, but even still… you have shot yourself in the foot and decreased the odds that this path will workout by refusing to play for your schools a-hole coach. Earlier you stated you would do anything within your power to attain your dreams. Apparently playing for a coach you don’t like isn’t within that power. When you get to this university on an academic scholarship and express interest in a tryout the coach is going to want to know where you played last. Pickup ball at the gym isn’t going to cut it as an answer. He’ll want to see a highlight package or some game footage. Not gonna have it. At D1 they do not have time to start teaching you systems and offensive/defensive schemes. You’ve watched them and can identify what your school runs but you haven’t played them because… you don’t play. Knowing it in theory is one thing. Identifying and picking up your man consistently in game is another thing. They don’t have time to wait for some walk on to “get it” when they have a roster full of talents they scouted from high schools around the country.

So returning to work ethic and practice. Those are the wheels and engine of the car. Without them you’re going nowhere. They’re crucial. The problem is that you never even got your learners permit. You’re still sitting at home playing Gran Turismo. You never put yourself in a position to make your goal attainable. Without exposure and game experience, at a competitive level, executing a team’s systems and playing real, team basketball it simply does not matter how well you shoot or dribble. If you were 6’11 and talking about walking into a coaches office and saying “I want to play but I’ve never played competitively before” it might be a different story but you don’t have that luxury at 6’1.

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I still have one year left. I’m a junior.

My coworkers son is a junior and he has been taking leave to drive this kid to tournaments all around the country, virtually every other month, in addition to him playing for his high school, as well as having tapes made for the recruiters. The father is receiving emails weekly from scouts and recruiters and arranging school visits and his son is having a workout/practice with the team at each school they visit. He’s a junior. This has been going on since September when his junior year just began. He’s also 6’8.

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I cant just be a nice person in a shitty situation I guess. Lol I’m always the asshole somehow I guess. I can’t just be cool but I beg people to like me. If I come to get advice on an online forum I’m bitching.

I’ve tried to get friends from the team to workout with me but they are always too busy, saying they are tired from a game or something.

Actually, you’re right.

I literally don’t have that opportunity. I’m just a kid from Chicago that wants to play in college and get his parents to want me to practice as much as possible. It’s that simple. None of you know me or how I play.

EDIT: I am actually an asshole. Thanks for letting me know.

Its actually this simple:

When you move out and are financially independent, you can play as much basketball as you want. While you are not living independently - you are literally classified as a dependent - you have to play by your parents rules, or face the consequences. That’s actually exactly how simple it is. Maybe your parents just realize that you’re chasing a delusion since you want to play basketball all day but don’t actually PLAY basketball. They’d probably have taken you a lot more seriously if you were, you know, on a team.

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yea i gotta tell you man, it sounds like you have fucking great parents. They’re willing to be honest with you when you aren’t honest with yourself, and they’re pushing you to make better decisions.

Parents, good friends, girlfriends… you should want tough love from all of them. The people who are the best friends in your life should tell it to you straight, rather than prop you up on false hope and let you chase nonsensical dreams.

Right now, it sounds like the forum members on TNation are your best friends. And so are your parents.

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I didn’t see Moose call you an asshole once.

Just another obvious facet of your personality problem. Attributing thoughts and characteristics to people that aren’t there. He gave you good advice. He was a D1 athlete, the thing you’re trying to be. You should shut up and listen at some point. It would build some character, something you seriously lack.

College is going to be a very rough experience for you if you don’t make some wholesale changes to who you are. I think everyone who’s reading this who went to college would agree with me on that.

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I quoted the wrong person on accident.

Thank you for your advice.

So wanting me to practice less is good, because there is no way in hell I can ever be shit in basketball?

pretty much, yea.

It doesn’t sound like your obsession with basketball, and the WAY you’re chasing your dreams, is healthy. The way you’re communicating it to us, it sounds like you’re setting yourself up for failure. Your parents may very well be trying to get you to divert your energy in another direction.

I had a brother in law who was convinced he could play video games for a living. He couldn’t understand why people were shitting on his dreams. He spent countless hours practicing. In his mind, he figured even though a long shot, it was worth trying, because he just loved playing these games. There aren’t very many people making money off video games, but that wasn’t gonna stop him from trying, even though he had no real track record of success.

He sure did waste a whole lot of hours he’d like to have back. Maybe, just maybe, your parents are trying to save you from wasting those hours. Maybe, just maybe, they want what’s best for you, and want to help you see for yourself how your hard headed nature is not serving you well.

Can you really not draw a parallel between your hardheadedness regarding weightlifting and your subsequent failure, and your current situation?

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Why is it that I CAN’T play in college? Why not? Everyone else can. My body is capable of what their body is doing.

do you have to whine?

dude. it’s not failing. it’s not achieving the highest level. That’s ok. you’ll be much better off if you can accept yourself for your shortcomings. You don’t have to make the NBA, or a D1 basketball program, to be successful. Maybe diversify your interests? I’m only aware of 2 things.

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Why can’t I make this shortcoming my strength? Why do you think that I can’t become good at basketball?