How to Get my Parents to Understand Me

I don’t know, an eight minute video of ‘shooting around’? That’s extreme dedication to a troll job.

I was leaning troll until I saw the video, which did not do much to convince me that OP would even be able to hang with a good jr high squad.

It’s either that or elite level delusion.

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I don’t even understand the OP’s goal anymore. This thread started out:
– I’m amazing at basketball. I practice twice a day, am going to go to a D1 college and then go Pro. But my parents hate me and are trying to keep me from playing basketball.

Then after a lot of questioning and advice, this thread has turned into:
– I’m amazing at basketball. I don’t play on a team, have only played for two years, and simply want to be as good as someone who plays on a D1 team.

What’s your aim, man? If you simply want to be as good as somebody else, more power to you. I won’t try to hate on you or bring you down to earth because you can achieve that goal. But if you’re still thinking you’ll turn pro one day, you’re just plain stupid.

All this “You can be whatever you want to be if you try hard enough” bullshit that kids are fed these days is so detrimental to becoming an adult.

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Getting caught up on this thread, and @ActivitiesGuy has hit the nail on the head. As a former collegiate athlete I can tell you straight up athleticism isn’t something you can always train. You can improve your athleticism with training, but there clearly are people with genetics that allow them to perform at a very high level. Basketball is a sport that favors raw athleticism and if you don’t win the genetic lottery you have no chance of NBA, let alone D1. Some people can jump really high, are tall, and are really quick. Nothing wrong with realizing you are not a top .0001% athlete.

I played baseball at a D2 school and it was very competitive, and echo @ActivitiesGuy’s thoughts on playing D3, or D2, or a competitive rec league. There was no amount of training that could make me throw 5-7mph harder, which is what it would’ve taken for me to get drafted. Even then, it’s a long road to the top. There are plenty of leagues that are still a lot of fun and lower levels. Find your level and have fun competing, but based on the video of layups and free-throws above I can tell you that there is no chance you’ll be in the NBA.

Based on this thread I know it will fall on deaf ears though. Basically this:

Nothing wrong with goals and competing, but you have to be somewhat realistic.

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OP, I have some concrete steps for you. I am a successful partner in a giant law firm and on the board of directors of three NYSE companies. I know what it takes to succeed. Here:

  1. Be coachable. This was the biggest concern I saw in all of your posts. I have had many a young Harvard snot-nosed twit work for me. They all suck because they have been the best their whole lives. They are very proud. Now they are surrounded by 1000 valedictorians from Harvard and MIT. They are in the NBA of their profession. The ones that succeed are the ones that have a good attitude about correction, are not proud, take direction, are team players, and are ethical.

There are many elements to this: be humble, follow the chain of command, help your teammates (coworkers) before yourself. Learn empathy. The first step in stopping feeling bad about your situation is helping someone who is in greater need than you. The second step is being secure in yourself to realize you don’t know crap and that is OK. It means you have a whole life long to improve.

  1. Work hard, but smart. The story of the tortoise and the hare is bullshit. In the real world, at the top ranks, the hares you deal with are not only super-fast, but plod along like the tortoise unflaggingly. I doubt basketball is your thing. It’s not many peoples’ thing. I was a tall Jewish kid and dominated Israeli high school basketball. I couldn’t make the MIT team (not exactly D1). Good thing IT"S A FUCKING GAME and not real life. Don’t worry about it.

  2. Focus on something more important than yourself. This could be your country, your religion, your family. Serve whatever that is. This will teach you how to be coachable and how not to be proud. I had the advantage of being in a country where there is mandatory military service and we are surrounded by people who want us dead. It focuses the mind on how to be a team player.

And now some trivia. One of the questions I ask interviewees is if they know their IQ. Now, these are people who went to the best undergrad, got As, and best law schools and got As. If they know their IQ off the top of their head, their self-worth is in something they didn’t earn. I learned this going to a MENSA meeting in Israel when a young just-so-damn-smart teenager. I stupidly thought it would be full of exceptional people who could direct me in the ways of the world. It was full of smart, unsuccessful, real-world idiots whose sole accomplishment was being born with a high IQ – a lot of bitter life drop outs who complained about how much smarter they were than their bosses. I didn’t make it to the doughnut break before I called my mom to get me the heck out of there. She just smirked.

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Karate is an interesting thought.

Maybe you should get into a less competitive, less athletic, smaller sport with less players.

What if you were just physically awesome at Fencing, Cross Country or Steeple Chase?

I always have this thought when I watch the olympics. Some of the sports are so unique the amount of people trying them is limited and by simple statistics there are people who are perfect genetic fits for a sport that they have and will never try. Now that I’m an adult and just play sports for fun I realize I’m much more suited for volleyball than the sports I grew up playing, but that was never an option growing up.

Yup. And for some people an individual sport is much better than a team sport. I don’t think individual sports get you ready for real life as much, but it can make it easier to continue playing the sport once you’re an adult. It is much harder to organize a pick up baseball game (aka adult league softball) compared to playing chess online.

Lol I don’t know my IQ, I’m not really prideful, I’m actually a pushover in real life. Real shit. I’m trying so hard to get you all to understand me. I’m a very religious person. That’s the main reason I didn’t make the team, apparently. I try to be the best person I can be. None of the things in this post are trolled. I keep trying to get you all to understand me but I’ve been all over the place with what I have been saying.

I wish you all knew me so you could see that I’m really like the people from Harvard you just described. I’m just going through some stuff.

Well, apparently you are not coachable. 'Cause nobody understands you. Gonna be a rough life.

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I don’t understand most people either.

What words are bolded in the quote of your post?

I and me.

I’m the problem.

You are being coached here. Read the coaching. Understand you need to follow it, even if you do not understand it. In time, you will.

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No, your focus on you is the problem. Focus elsewhere. Serve others. Make others great and you will be great.

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Here’s the thing- Everybody that has participated in this thread has been 17, somewhat to exceptionally athletic, and wanted to accomplish something great.

We understand you pretty darn well. Probably more than you understand yourself. You are suffering from uniqueness. Nobody knows, Nobody understands…

Yes we do. We’ve been there and done that. You are the one that doesn’t understand. If you start from that position (that of a lack of understanding) and re-read this thread it will all make very good sense.

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This might help.

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My whole life has been no. Gtfo with that bs.

Thats the whole reason i made this thread. Because people tell me “no” all the time. I grew up learning to accept no. It’s just that I felt and still feel so passionate about basketball, that I wonder if I could earn a yes. But, according to you all, that’s not even feasible. I just get fed up with no.

I obey my parents’ no’s, even if I get mad sometimes, but, I’m tired of people who aren’t my parents always telling me I CAN’T do something. I’m tired of people always looking down and being condescending to me even though I treat them respectfully. I’m just tired of being the laughing stock, I’m tired of being the second fiddle in life. Not even the second fiddle, the third or fourth one.

I know each one of you all know how this is.

And I see that you all are trying to tell me that I’m not good and that I have no chance, but each time you say that charges me again to want to work my ass off. Literally I will read this thread to get emotionally charged before I practice over and over again until I can’t get charged anymore.

Were you hoping to start a thread on T-Nation about your unrealistic goal and have a bunch of grown men fawn over you with hollow platitudes? You’re great, reach for the stars, you can do whatever you put your mind to, and other such noise…

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