T Nation

How To Deal With THIS?

I realize that there’s no solution but sometimes talking about it and hearing what others have to say can help. That said, who here has a family member that has a drug/alcohol addiction problem/how the fuck do you manage it. I’ve done drugs. Everything but herion. Am I proud of it? No. Asshamed? No. However, I just can’t seem to phathom how somebody who was raised in a loving enviroment, average to above average economic standing, with many things in his favor ie. good athelete, good looking tall, and a great heart can time and again go back to making the same mistake that is destroying his life and the lives of those around him. The whole thing just makes me numb and seeing it’s effect on my mother/father is just a constant kick in the balls.

Goddammit you’re having a crappy month, bro. Anyway, I’ve done all kinds of shit (besides heroin) just like you, so I know what it’s like to “experiment” (if you can call doing bong hits out of a six foot bong that takes two people to smoke “experimenting”). I think that one of my favorite shows sums it up very nicely.

Chef: “The problem with drugs is people forget to stop doing them. There’s a time and place for everything… and it’s called COLLEGE…”

Now I don’t know if it’s your brother (I’m guessing) that’s going overboard here, and you’re right that it’s next to impossible to do anything about it. You’re gonna hear all kinds of well-intentioned advice here, so I want to throw mine in there:

Don’t enable him.

I know it ain’t much, but it’s the best I can think of to not make it any worse right now.

I know how ya feel man

You really have two main courses of action. 1) Have an intervention, with possible medical advice (bring him to doctors) and family members. Explain how much pain and duress he’s causing all of you, and guarantee him your asistance in his quitting. 2) Pretty much keep him on a very short leash (if this is at all possible, depending on age.) (I know my advice may not be anything new or exciting, but its what worked on both me and my close friend)
I know how painful it can be to watch someone you love slowly destroy themselves.

Don’t give up man
s3

He’s been to rehab 3 times, I’ve gone from balling my eyes out telling him how much I love him, to literally choking him till his eyes rolled back in his head. Interventions have been done. All I can do is try to be supportive and at the same time deffensive. Either way it sucks.

[quote]Wideguy wrote:
He’s been to rehab 3 times, I’ve gone from balling my eyes out telling him how much I love him, to literally choking him till his eyes rolled back in his head. Interventions have been done. All I can do is try to be supportive and at the same time deffensive. Either way it sucks.[/quote]

What is his primary addiction? Most addictions come with a primary and associated triggers…In other words, cocaine is usually a strong psychological addiction (your body won’t break down when the body is deprived of it). This type of addiction ultimately comes down to choice…Without getting too personal in my own experiences, I don’t care how many rehab clinics an addict tries, it ultimately boils down to choice. A choice not to do the drug. To put life, family, friends and a healthy existance first. It is damn tough, but people turn it around every day.

The only thing you can do is to be candid with him about how you feel…Try an intervention. Bottome line though, NOTHING will work unless he wants to change.

man i feel for you… i was a big time partyer and tryed almost everything including heroin but i never seen a reson to give up my life for any of it … and like you i wonder what makes good people with stuff going for themselfs get hook to that point were nothing eles matters, i had a girlfriend a few years back that got hooked to crack realy bad… there was nothing i could do to get her away from it… she ran away from my house where i was trying to take care of her twice and was on the street for about a year maybe more … she would sell herself just for a rock … that bad news is i learned you really cant do much if they dont want it for them selfs… my ex finaly did stop but not untill after a few rapes ODs and finaly she had a baby the last time i talked to her she was clean for over a year but im sure that if she never had that baby she would be dead now… just try to show as much love as you can … try not to judge… im sorry i dont have the best advice for you this is a hard issue but my prayers will go out to you and your family

All very true, and still distrubing. Thanks boys.

To reiterate what someone said earlier…nobody will quit unless they want to.

My addition: Until we find that SOMEthing or SOMEone that makes the person want to quit, they have no reason to do it (in their minds).

I know what you mean…I’ve hung in there with many addicted friends…not preaching to them, but showing them(demonstrating with my own life)what being clean will do for them…I realize that they are not family (which makes it 100x tougher), but they are or were my best friends (making them “brothers”)at the time…

Hang tough man.