Rules.
- You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
Well, I guess it beats believing that AIDS is spread by “dirty homosexuals” or God in re: “dirty homosexuals”. In fact, AIDS is an epidemic that has reemerged in recent years, and infection rates are on the rise again (the largest group of new infectees? Women ages 18-35) An effective AIDS vaccine would save millions of lives, especially in parts of Africa, where infection rates are reaching %15.
- You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
Almost as funny as believing that teaching only abstinence will curb the spread of STD?s, unwanted juvenile pregnancies, and the whole works. Fourth graders might not be able to read, but the 36 billion dollars we just spent on new air to air combat jetcraft (despite the fact that no military in the world outside Britain can threaten our already existing arsenal) sure as hell could have been used by school districts that are in budget shortfalls and financial crises. And the now 1 in 5 rate of 15 year olds having sex shows how effective we all have been (bickering among ourselves and forgetting to “gasp” parent the kids)
- You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
Actually, yeah, they are. The Chinese aren?t lobbing nuclear weapons at us any more than Russia or Israel is. And the “Chinese Communists” idea is as old and wrinkled as your grandfathers ball sack. Catch up there McCarthy.
- You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
Well, there was art, but the great art producing countries (like Italy, France, and Russia) had and do have strong state supported art institutions.
- You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
If you actually believe this clever “flip”, you are a big fucking moron. There is nothing that pisses me off more about “conservatives” than their persistent belief that fossil fuels somehow aren?t damaging the environment, despite all actual scientific evidence to the contrary (and practical evidence ? see that river that is orange with dead fish in it?!) And the belief that our ridiculous consumption of them, which negatively impacts not just us but the entire world, is the preservation of the “American way of life”. Actually, you are just a spoiled lazy piece of shit, and you can quote me on that.
- You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
Better than believing that gender roles are natural (me man, grr) and homosexuals are abominations. What is it like to live so full of hate? I?ve always wondered this. Does it feel good to constantly get offended by other people?s sexual choices? Besides, fags are so much more fun to hang out with than Republicans, at least they know how to dress (end ironic stereotype).
- You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
I won?t even touch the abortion issue, it causes too much strife ? I understand both arguments, and nothing will ever be resolved, it?s a fundamental difference in belief about what a fetus is.
Capital punishment, on the other hand, is easier. Capital punishment cannot be perfect, therefore innocent people are destined to die (and have died). End of story, you can?t kill innocent people in the pursuit of “justice” or “revenge”. That is the ultimate fallacy of the system, so the system shouldn?t exist. And if you say the system doesn?t make mistakes, that it is perfect, then go back to the library and start reading.
- You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
No, they seem to work hand in hand to further monetary interests at the expense of human interest, especially overseas. Remember, Americans lives are worth more (to paraphrase an earlier argument on these boards)
- You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
Completely agree, I respect plenty of hunters, but a lot of loony activists do care about the environment (myself included).
- You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
Replace “self-esteem” with “human dignity” and you have the Republican position down pat.
- You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.
Bullshit, we all know corrupt Republicans start wars
Oh, and the military-industrial complex is a Republican phenomenon, and it is scary.
- You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
We could get in a big debate out originalism and constitutional relativism, but we won?t. Both groups get a little overzelous, but I?d rather see a gigantic surge in free speech than gun ownership.
- You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
Banks save tons of money using ATM?s (this is fact). Yet they charge us for using them (further increasing profits) ? what gives?
- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
Same as believing that Abraham Lincoln gave much of a shit about slaves or that Washington wasn?t a slave owner? We create myths about the past to serve our interests and beliefs, liberals and Republicans are no different.
- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.
Uh, nobody ever said that racial quotas and set-asides weren?t racist ? they are intended to be. Kinda like all that slavery, social repression, ghettoization, and other white-nasty we have thrown at blacks since we brought them over here on ships. Go and re-read FDR?s concept of the shackled race as an analogy of race relations. You ever heard the catch phrase “future generations will pay for our mistakes?” Well, this is it, and it is now. We pay for our ancestors mistakes against blacks, plain and simple.
- You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
I have yet to meet a single Republican who could give me a working definition of socialism, and then tell me why socialism in Europe and Scandenavia isn?t working just fine.
- You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
“homosexual parades” ? oh, you mean gay pride parade? I?m sorry, I forgot that we tolerate things we don?t like, such as KKK marches, abortion protestors, and Bill O?Reilly, because free speech means something (hold on a minute, you could have a manger march through San Francisco, and no one would stop you! Crazy!) What we don?t tolerate is manger scenes at public schools or government facilities. Wait a minute, I forgot! Jesus is the personal savior of the American people! The rest of us here religions should shut up and accept that.