How to be a Good Liberal

Rules.

  1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

Well, I guess it beats believing that AIDS is spread by “dirty homosexuals” or God in re: “dirty homosexuals”. In fact, AIDS is an epidemic that has reemerged in recent years, and infection rates are on the rise again (the largest group of new infectees? Women ages 18-35) An effective AIDS vaccine would save millions of lives, especially in parts of Africa, where infection rates are reaching %15.

  1. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

Almost as funny as believing that teaching only abstinence will curb the spread of STD?s, unwanted juvenile pregnancies, and the whole works. Fourth graders might not be able to read, but the 36 billion dollars we just spent on new air to air combat jetcraft (despite the fact that no military in the world outside Britain can threaten our already existing arsenal) sure as hell could have been used by school districts that are in budget shortfalls and financial crises. And the now 1 in 5 rate of 15 year olds having sex shows how effective we all have been (bickering among ourselves and forgetting to “gasp” parent the kids)

  1. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

Actually, yeah, they are. The Chinese aren?t lobbing nuclear weapons at us any more than Russia or Israel is. And the “Chinese Communists” idea is as old and wrinkled as your grandfathers ball sack. Catch up there McCarthy.

  1. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

Well, there was art, but the great art producing countries (like Italy, France, and Russia) had and do have strong state supported art institutions.

  1. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

If you actually believe this clever “flip”, you are a big fucking moron. There is nothing that pisses me off more about “conservatives” than their persistent belief that fossil fuels somehow aren?t damaging the environment, despite all actual scientific evidence to the contrary (and practical evidence ? see that river that is orange with dead fish in it?!) And the belief that our ridiculous consumption of them, which negatively impacts not just us but the entire world, is the preservation of the “American way of life”. Actually, you are just a spoiled lazy piece of shit, and you can quote me on that.

  1. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

Better than believing that gender roles are natural (me man, grr) and homosexuals are abominations. What is it like to live so full of hate? I?ve always wondered this. Does it feel good to constantly get offended by other people?s sexual choices? Besides, fags are so much more fun to hang out with than Republicans, at least they know how to dress (end ironic stereotype).

  1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

I won?t even touch the abortion issue, it causes too much strife ? I understand both arguments, and nothing will ever be resolved, it?s a fundamental difference in belief about what a fetus is.

Capital punishment, on the other hand, is easier. Capital punishment cannot be perfect, therefore innocent people are destined to die (and have died). End of story, you can?t kill innocent people in the pursuit of “justice” or “revenge”. That is the ultimate fallacy of the system, so the system shouldn?t exist. And if you say the system doesn?t make mistakes, that it is perfect, then go back to the library and start reading.

  1. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

No, they seem to work hand in hand to further monetary interests at the expense of human interest, especially overseas. Remember, Americans lives are worth more (to paraphrase an earlier argument on these boards)

  1. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

Completely agree, I respect plenty of hunters, but a lot of loony activists do care about the environment (myself included).

  1. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

Replace “self-esteem” with “human dignity” and you have the Republican position down pat.

  1. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.

Bullshit, we all know corrupt Republicans start wars :wink:

Oh, and the military-industrial complex is a Republican phenomenon, and it is scary.

  1. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

We could get in a big debate out originalism and constitutional relativism, but we won?t. Both groups get a little overzelous, but I?d rather see a gigantic surge in free speech than gun ownership.

  1. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

Banks save tons of money using ATM?s (this is fact). Yet they charge us for using them (further increasing profits) ? what gives?

  1. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

Same as believing that Abraham Lincoln gave much of a shit about slaves or that Washington wasn?t a slave owner? We create myths about the past to serve our interests and beliefs, liberals and Republicans are no different.

  1. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.

Uh, nobody ever said that racial quotas and set-asides weren?t racist ? they are intended to be. Kinda like all that slavery, social repression, ghettoization, and other white-nasty we have thrown at blacks since we brought them over here on ships. Go and re-read FDR?s concept of the shackled race as an analogy of race relations. You ever heard the catch phrase “future generations will pay for our mistakes?” Well, this is it, and it is now. We pay for our ancestors mistakes against blacks, plain and simple.

  1. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

I have yet to meet a single Republican who could give me a working definition of socialism, and then tell me why socialism in Europe and Scandenavia isn?t working just fine.

  1. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

“homosexual parades” ? oh, you mean gay pride parade? I?m sorry, I forgot that we tolerate things we don?t like, such as KKK marches, abortion protestors, and Bill O?Reilly, because free speech means something (hold on a minute, you could have a manger march through San Francisco, and no one would stop you! Crazy!) What we don?t tolerate is manger scenes at public schools or government facilities. Wait a minute, I forgot! Jesus is the personal savior of the American people! The rest of us here religions should shut up and accept that.

Well put Rumbach! You’ve got energy to burn.

US=GG, I’ve never read an “anti-American” post on this forum. Sounds like you’ve been picking up on the intelligent dialogs taking place weekly on WWE.

Chomsky is his name. Is his word scripture? No, but he is a highly respected scholar at MIT. When you can accurately and effectively refute his research let us know.

"I didnt know Bush had been AWOL while in the National Guard. Could somebody tell me what his reason was?

I dont think anyone who’s run away from his duties to the country should ever be president. You lead by example, and to do otherwise is hypocrite.
I dont tbelieve you should have thr right to say what to do with our troops lives if you didnt have the responsibility to fulfill your duties in any one branch of the military period. Anyone whos never served in the armed services is off my list. Anyone who’s served dishonorably and was AWOL, shouldnt be elected either. It shows favoritism for the Bushes and disregards the responsibility of the commander in chief to safeguard the lives of our troops instead of sending them to fight a war when he’s ignorant of the risks they’re taking, or when he wouldnt have the guts to do the same. "

Okay those were your words chief, so what exactly did I miss about having no confidence in someone who ran away from his duties?

On this topic:

[quote]You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
[/quote]

I used to be a member of the NRA. One of the main reasons I wanted to be a member is that I was a gun owner and felt like it would be good to learn about the responsibility of gun ownership, using all the free resources that they claimed to have available. Turns out that they were more annoying than that friend of yours who bugs you about getting into some network marketing scheme. Constant mail and email, pleading for money so they could support all the salaries or something. I do believe that we should be allowed to own a gun to protect our homes, but I don’t think that we need to have access to military grade weapons, which they constantly defended on behalf of all the hunters out there (apparently the deer are really getting aggressive these days). Anyway, I just lost a lot of respect for the organization.

On the ACLU, they may defend people or things that you don’t like, but when you are the one whose civil rights have been violated, I guarantee that you will be glad they are there. I have never been a “card-carrying-member” though, so they may be just as annoying or worse than the NRA.

Bottom line, maybe all these lobbyists are a necessary evil in our society. I shudder to think.

Just for the fun of things:
How to be a Good Conservative:
1.) Don’t blame yourself, it is the Liberals fault.
2.) Hate everyone who is different from you.
3.) Take Civil Rights lessons from David Duke.
4.) Follow the moral advice of Televangelists.
5.) Make it a right for everyone to have full access to military armaments.
6.) Call anyone who opposes you UNGODLY!
7.) Hate everything but your view of how America should be.
8.) Give aid and comfort to racist, bigots and hate-mongers.
9.) Become a patriot and plan to blow up your own Federal Building
10.) Remember - there is ALWAYS A CONSPIRACY!!
11.) you have to believe that every other nation on earth is inferior and morally suspect.
12.) you have to believe that blacks are given more advantages in life than whites.
13.) you have to believe that women are given more advantages in life than man.
14.) you have to believe that cripples are given more advantages in life than non-cripples.
15.) you have to believe that the only reason primates came down from the trees and formed societies was for commerce.
16.) you have to believe that the only role for government should be to build lots of roads and to grease the wheels of commerce. everything else is socialism.
17.) you have to believe that when your safety is threatened, it’s better to blow your enemy away than to engage in diplomacy.
18.) you have to believe that getting a blowjob in the oval office is more morally repugnant than using the oval office to overthrow the elected governments of several small latin american countries.
19.) you have to believe that taxes are a moral sin.
20.) you have to believe that if little johnn y really wants to learn how to read and write, he should front the money for it himself.

  1. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

I have yet to meet a single Republican who could give me a working definition of socialism, and then tell me why socialism in Europe and Scandinavia isn?t working just fine.

Yes socialism is working in Europe and Scandinavia but not for Europeans and Scandinavians, a small but terminal issue.

  1. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.

Uh, nobody ever said that racial quotas and set-asides weren?t racist? they are intended to be. Kinda like all that slavery, social repression, ghettoization, and other white-nasty we have thrown at blacks since we brought them over here on ships. Go and re-read FDR?s concept of the shackled race as an analogy of race relations. You ever heard the catch phrase “future generations will pay for our mistakes?” Well, this is it, and it is now. We pay for our ancestors mistakes against blacks, plain and simple.

Great I should be expecting a check from the British government for what they did to my Irish ancestors. Also the Norwegian and Danish Governments better save their krona?s to compensate me for what the Viking did to my Irish forbears. Also the Arab Nations better put aside some of their oil revenues to appease me for the Irish men and women who were kidnapped by the Barbary pirates from the south coast of Ireland and sold into slavery (yes million of white men and women were sold into slavery. Does this upset your worldview that white men are responsible for all the problems in the world both past and present?). Also I pretty sure that and Egyptian and an Inca offended one of my ancestors somewhere along the line, so I better tell my bank manager to expect checks from Egypt and Peru. Do you see how ridiculous this line of thinking is?

  1. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

Banks save tons of money using ATM?s (this is fact). Yet they charge us for using them (further increasing profits) ? what gives?

Hey save your money or pool money from investors and start your own bank. You have the right to run it anyway you want.

  1. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

Well, there was art, but the great art producing countries (like Italy, France, and Russia) had and do have strong state supported art institutions.

What a great socialist you are! You praise the contributions to art made by such socialist bodies as the Vatican, the French Aristocracy and Tsarist Russia.

  1. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

Actually, yeah, they are. The Chinese aren?t lobbing nuclear weapons at us any more than Russia or Israel is. And the “Chinese Communists” idea is as old and wrinkled as your grandfathers ball sack. Catch up there McCarthy.

Consider that North Korea and China have a mutual defence treaty (i.e. if North Korea is attacked China is obliged to defend it) and my grandfather?s ball sack is hanging pretty low. It is a matter of some debate it China?s mutual defence treaty is voided if North Korea launches the first strike and then is attacked, but either way it is not very comforting to known that China has state of the art nuclear weapons. Also China is an ally of Pakistan, thus if India and Pakistan go to war China will most likely be involved. I know Kashmir is high up in the Himalayas but from what I hear it is pretty hot up there. Then there is are the problems of China?s public claims to Taiwan and large chunks of Siberia.

  1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

Well, I guess it beats believing that AIDS is spread by “dirty homosexuals” or God in re: “dirty homosexuals”. In fact, AIDS is an epidemic that has reemerged in recent years, and infection rates are on the rise again (the largest group of new infectees? Women ages 18-35) An effective AIDS vaccine would save millions of lives, especially in parts of Africa, where infection rates are reaching %15.

Promiscuous sex, prostitution and intravenous drug use have no effect on the spread of AIDS? Just do whatever feels good even if millions will die as a result.

so how do you be a good libertarian? socialist? communist? anarchist?
Come on guys, there aren’t just two sides to this coin.

Just for the fun of things:
How to be a Good Conservative: the solutions
1.) Don’t blame yourself, it is the Liberals fault. No it?s the Fault of whitey.
2.) Hate everyone who is different from you. Just hate conservatives.
3.) Take Civil Rights lessons from David Duke. Not since he was jailed on a trumped up charge.
4.) Follow the moral advice of Televangelists. Madonna better (she know YOGA)!
5.) Make it a right for everyone to have full access to military armaments. Great now how am I going to afford a tank.
6.) Call anyone who opposes you UNGODLY! Stupid conservatives, it only works if you?re a Muslim and call anyone who opposes you an infidel or an unbeliever. Better yet instead of wasting your breath calling them names just kill them before they can sin more.
7.) Hate everything but your view of how America should be. Hold multi-everything (i.e. culture, race, sex, gender, age, species) as your god and belittle everyone who does not.
8.) Give aid and comfort to racist, bigots and hate-mongers. Only if they are ?freedom fighter? and cleansing there homeland of white devils. God bless Robert Mugabe and Nelson Mandela (you heard me right).
9.) Become a patriot and plan to blow up your own Federal Building. (I agree, what a bunch of shits.)
10.) Remember - there is ALWAYS A CONSPIRACY!! Conceived on the 19th hole of golf courses.

kuri; Chomsky is a linguistics prof at MIT…his political writings have nothing to do with the university.

Don’t worry Mr Batty, US=GG only recognises as facts those things, which complement his world view. [Narrow-minded, myopic and insular as it is]

Who you actually are is irrelevant, you wouldn’t want to confuse him by making him look beyond his stereotypes.

Actually, being a bad guy isn’t so bad, the insurance plan is great and we do a great bar-b-q, even if you have to go to the seventh level of hell to join in.

Yep, be a bad guy, see the world.

Very true, Chomsky’s gig at MIT is as a linguistics prof., but that doesn’t change the fact that his work on US foreign policy & media issues is respected by many around the world. More so outside the US - which suggests another issue.

His research is extremely detailed and backed up by solid sources (much of what I’ve read of his is based on de-classified documents from the Library of Congress & the Wall Street Journal).

I don’t think we must all adopt his beliefs, just that his voice is one among many worth noting.

iscariot,
This is like pulling teeth for me. I hate to say it, but your last post was rather clever. The part about seeing the world was creative.

Ok, I hated that. Please continue being your usual obtuse, irrelevant ass so I don’t have to compliment you. The whole myopic, insular, and sterotype thing was, of course, wrong. But, the rest was pretty good.

By the way, the United States is not a terrorist country. Just so you won’t forget.

iscariot hits on a good point when inviting us to “see the world”.
Ever spoken with someone from another ctry concerning current events?
Travel to another ctry and read the paper & talk with people?

Many may say the Bush admin does not have a monopoly on “whats right”, however concerning righteousness…

I grew up in a small town in the midwest literally fighting in the street with ignorant rednecks because I didn’t look or act like them (and no I never backed down nor lost), and it wasn’t pleasant. Maybe its wishful to think that everyone on this forum would be above that.