Rules.
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You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
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You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
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You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
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You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
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You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
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You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
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You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
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You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
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You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
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You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
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You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.
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You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
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You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
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You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
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You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.
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You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
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You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.