T Nation

How to be a Good Liberal


  1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

  2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

  3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

  4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

  5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

  6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

  7. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

  8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

  9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

  10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

  11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.

  12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

  13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

  14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

  15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.

  16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

  17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

How to be an idiot:

  1. See above.

Dude…that was incredibly funny and accurate!!! The only thing that would make it even more funny is if these statements weren’t true!..
Simply put…


must be from “Rummy” Rumsfeld’s site or some DC “thinktank”…

and conservatives are known to be:
bible thumping, environment raping, war mongering rednecks… accurate? C’mon,
stereotypes and generalizations are stoopid & and are employed by those too lazy to think for themselves.

I can definately appreciate humor, but that wasn’t even close to being intelligent nor funny

I completely agree that education and experience are essential, and he does have much more of both qualities than does Bush, and seems to be able to form sentences and not speak only in soundbytes.
He also was against a pre-emptive strike on Iraq. Even he realized the negative consequences such action could incur (I’m not talking about the outcome of the war here).

Goldberg, its true that afro-ams make up 13% of the population, but what matters most to politicians is the distribution of wealth - of which Afro-Ams have less. The reasons for this we don’t have to guess at.
Don’t forget that the federal Gvmt DOES have something to say concerning educational budgets - and right now its not looking too good under Bush. I’m curious to know how Powell stands.

ya know chris maybe ya should devote more time to training than writing lame posts that are only going to stir up flames on this board. I mean when the war started in the Gulf and the lines were drawn I think that it really didn’t matter what side of the ball you played on; everyone eventually boiled down to the same thing, the saftey of our troops. Whether it was supporting their efforts in combat, or getting them the fuck out of the area for fighting what some believed to be an unjust war (I being one of them); it was essentially the same idea. The same can be said about a lot of topics on this board, but this is just plain stupid. Bro, instead of pitting the same fucking people against each other (since we all know who is going to respond to being a conservative, and who is going to respond to be a liberal) maybe you should expand your horizons as well as your physique since I just checked your profile and your punkass is smaller than I was when I was between my 8th grade and freshman year in highschool.

Why not just take a few good-natured jabs and return them? The same thing happened when some funny Bushims were posted. Though both posts don’t present either side completely accurately, they’re just poking fun at some stereotypes. I applaud whoever fired back with conservatives being Bible-thumping warmongers.

And calling something “stoopid” is high comedy.

 Hyooge, I agree. In the end we're all on the same side here, and protesters just wanted our soldiers back home safely. Which is why they resorted to such tactics as blocking the shipment of crucial supplies such as daily rations and chemical suits and masks; or why they publicly wished them a cruel death in combat by the thousands with the 1 million mogadishus comment, applauded by those present; or why they confronted a number of Marines, pushed them against a wall and threatened them 'you better not go fight this war', before they got their heads shoved up their asses by said Marines. Or why they held signs that said 'we support our troops when they shoot their officers' and 'dont impeach Bush, execute him'. It is also why they felt the need to throw concrete at the Police officers trying to prevent them from blocking the shipment of supplies to our troops.

 It might also explain why they decided to focus on making comments such as 'we're embarassed Bush is from Texas', instead of saying 'We want our troops safe back home, not in Iraq'. That wouldve been welcomed, and pretty simple to say. It also wouldve actually shown their 'support' for our troops. 

 Oh wait, it DOESN't explain any of that!
 And it doesnt explain why the focus of protesters was on flaming Bush's administration when I cant recall one single word being uttered out of those protesters mouths saying they want our troops safe and sound back home. They simply succeeded in trying to starve them by blocking shipmentt of rations and getting them killed should Saddam have used Chemical or biological weapons, along with a nice 'die like a bitch' comment. Way to go - I feel more patriotic already!

To Chris,

Excellent post, you are correct on the many conviently polar positions liberals take on many issues.

Here is my opinion, sticking to the party line, any party line is just ignorant, no one has gotten it correct as of yet and being a blind sheep may get you elected faster but it will not prosper this nation one iota.

“Don’t forget that the federal Gvmt DOES have something to say concerning educational budgets - and right now its not looking too good under Bush. I’m curious to know how Powell stands.”
No shit. thats not what i said. I said that education shouldnt be the priority of the Federal Government. It should be the priority of the local governments. and this was in another thread. i dont know why it was posted here. maybe it was a mistake.

Diesel, even I think that what those protestors did was disgusting. Honestly though, they don’t represent EVERYONE who has ever spoken against the Bush administration. I lump idiots like that in with members of KKK, or other extreme groups. I consider them a waste of oxygen, and quite pathetic. They are usually just young people who are desperate for an identity.

So for every extreme group of white-supremists who hate everyone who isn’t a white Christian gun-owner, who protest and express their opinions in public, and staunchly support the Bush administration… do you want to be put in the same group as those guys? Do they represent all of your beliefs? I doubt it, or at least, I hope not.

 It's pretty funny Batty, last thing I heard White Supremacists had a bone to pick with Colin Powell's holding of the title of Secretary of State.

  Trust me when I say Supremacists, by nature, will not support what Colin Powel says or does.

My situation was completely, Deisel… You are missing the point.

Edit… My last post was supposed to read:

no diesel you’re right to pigeon hole all of the protestors in such a way. I mean I already wrote that I was against the war so it means that I was making sure shipmenst weren’t reaching their respective destinations, at the same time I was inciting riots nationwide and pissing on effigies of Bush, even though it was you who recently posted about having no confidence in an administration led by a man who was AWOL from the FUCKING AIR FORCE NATIONAL GUARD. It was all me Diesel; hey maybe if you work hard enough you could pin the JFK assassination on all liberals too.

yes Goldberg my post was put on this thread by mistake

All the grandmothers who protested this war will be surprised to hear how they starved the troops and are unAmerican.

I already posted a link that said the Oakland police’s OWN SURVEILLANCE VIDEO did not show the protestors ever throwing anything, yet the police opened fire on them and shot them in the backs as they retreated with wooden dowels. What a bunch of BRAVE HEROES.

Diesel, you can’t get into the marines if you smoke crack.

 'hey maybe if you work hard enough you could pin the JFK assassination on all liberals too.'

 I'll do my best. 

 Meanwhile you may want to actually read the 'bush AWOL' thread and see exactly where I stand.

 Should be a simple feat. Yes, even for you.

Welcome friend!!! You are formally inducted into the hallowed halls of the Good Guys. There are a few things that you should be aware of. The bad guys, iscariot, restless, adal, say, roy batty, etc… get extremely angry the closer you get to the “mark.” You will know when you have scored a direct hit when they get real nasty and then try to change the subject. I have to admit feeling a large degree of satisfaction when my logic is so overwhelmingly clear that they are forced to broaden their mental horizons. You have to remember that they get most of their ideas straight from sources like the boston globe or the dnc chairman mcaullife. You are going to hear many references to norm chomosky (I probably spelled his last name wrong and I do not care). Do yourself a favor. Do not read norm chomosky. Your blood pressure will rise and your I.Q. will actually fall. bad guys do very little original thinking. So, if I were you, I would study these and other similar sources (remember, no norm chomosky). This will prepare you to counter all of their “points.” Remember, when the anti-Americans (restless, iscariot, etc…) start calling us terrorists, ask them if terrorist states provide 60% OF THE FREE AID TO THE REST OF THE WORLD. They will never answer you. It’s fun anyhow. Again, welcome to the Good Guy Society. Good hunting!!!

US=GG, you CLEARLY don’t even read my posts. I have never once referred to anyone of the “conservative coalition” on this forum as terrorists. Funny fact is, I probably do 10 times the work on republican committees than YOU! You have no idea what I am about. YOu see that I don’t like GW and automatically assume that I am a liberal. You crack me up!