How Much For an Engagement Ring?

[quote]MsM wrote:
Perhaps I’m a little more practical than the average girl but it would bother me if my partner spent 3 months salary on a ring. Does every woman want a nice ring? Sure, every woman dreams about it but a nice doesn’t have to break the bank.
[/quote]

Exactly.

A woman would be absolutely out of her mind to expect me to spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring for her.

£1000 max.

I’ll be married 5 years in September… I bought the ring 6 and half - 7 years ago… I spend almost $7K - platinum setting I kinda designed, and a good diamond… As was mentioned, whatever you do, do not go to a mall and use any of those stores, go to an independate jeweler. I would not use blue nile or buy anything without looking at it… Do your research, also what was mentioned, the 4C’s. However, when doing this, also remember that most people don’t walk around with 20X microscopes to inspect diamonds… I got quite an education when I was shopping…

I also considered the size of my now wife. She is 5’2" and goes 110 lbs soaking wet, so having some 4K ct ring would look stupid on her hand and IMO sometimes the larger stones look fake…

I think the presentation and just the fact of being engadged means everything to a chick, however don’t be cheap about it either… You will hopefully only do this once, so do it right the first time…

Another vote for www.bluenile.com Fuck 3 months salary. I spent less than 2 months, and still came back with a beautiful ring. Being able to buy the stone by using the GIA cert stats is great. The best advice I got was to go for an ideal or excellent cut on the rock. I did and this thing “blings” better than stones 2x its size. Precious metals and gems are up as far as commodities go, and the prices most likely will still rise so buy sooner than later. I went back to bluenile to check out wedding bands last month and my fiances setting costs almost 1k more than I paid in september.

My wife’s was about $600. There were more important things to us at the time, like a house.

I honestly don’t understand the need for the biggest rock, and if this were my wife’s priority it would make me question if she were the right person for me.

I know this makes me sound cheap, however I just don’t see the value in this artificially induced commodity. BTW my wedding ring is a $10 silver ring I get compliments on all the time, the rest I spent on a mountain bike.

I don’t wear rings. Neither does Yo Daddy. They bother my hands when I lift or play my bass. I never understood that tradition, anyway. So we got some tattoos, instead.

Twenty five years later, I still wear my heart on my sleeve.

I don’t know of too many girls who, when in an honest relationship, would have a rock as their top priority.

I also don’t really understand the whiff of attitude I sense when someone who chooses not to spend a lot speaks of someone who made the decision to spend a significant amount.

I can’t peg it…but there’s a certain air to some of these posts.

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
I’ve got a ways to go, but the relationship is moving in that direction.

Curious as to what others have spent, or what would you spend on a ring?
I’ve been engaged before (in college so I could only afford an $800 ring, which was a waste of money obviously).

I know the standard is 3 months salary, but that’s a lot of fricken money for a ring (and I don’t even make a ton of money).

Also, would you buy from a jeweler like (Kay’s, Shaws, etc.) or one of those discount ones that are like direct from the seller?

[/quote]

Do NOT go to a store that’s in a mall. You will get crap at a high price. There are many websites that you can find that will point you in the right direction. I went to Karat Patch in Charlotte, NC and had amazing service/prices. Sorry I forgot to look at your location before writing this so I have NO idea if that is close to you or not.

I say spend as much as you are comfortable with. Just keep in mind you’ll have to pay for a honeymoon within a year or whenever you set the date.

www.bluenile.com is an excellent online store with very good prices. You can also get insurance for your ring before it ships so no worries during the shipping process. My insurance policy cost less than $200 for the year.

Haha I just went through all this myself so I know how damn confusing it can all be, but worth it in the end.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
The DeBeer’s guideline is two month’s salary, but DeBeers is evil. In my experience, the best rings in my group have come from one independent jeweler, everyone refers their friends to him.

You can get an idea of sizes and prices at www.bluenile.com. Don’t go to a mall store. Get a referral. Don’t be afraid to look at chick’s fingers and ask for referrals.

You also need to take into consideration what she wants. I know when we got engaged, I wanted something nice, but I didn’t want to start my marriage with a boatload of unnecessary debt.

This point of view differed from a friend’s now-wife, who wanted a huge ring and said to the friend, “well, finance it, we can pay for it when we get married, I am sure Daddy will give us a lot of money at the wedding.”

Oh and yeah, don’t get married or even propose until you decide re: kids![/quote]

aaaaand I posted the exact same thing, just much later.

::goes to sit in corner and shut the hell up::

Shit if i’m gonna marry someone i’d better have things planned with her which would be better uses of my money. Like a house, vacation, or something else. I’m sure i’d get her something nice like in the $1000 range but more than that is just dumb unless i’m rolling in cash.

It all seems like kind of a shallow status thing anyways - girls want the bigger ring to show off to their friends that they are marrying someone rich/successful. If something like that is THAT important to a girl i’d have to examing why exactly she was marrying me.

I got mine in Puerto Rico for under 200.

I spent about $5,500 on the engagement ring, $1,500 on the wedding ring, and $2,500 on the jewelry she wore going down the isle.

My wedding ring is a simple titanium band that cost $99.

My opinion is that you should stretch yourself for the engagement ring, but don’t go beyond what you can afford.

Definitely don’t go into debt for the ring!!!

Don’t do it!

[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
I don’t know of too many girls who, when in an honest relationship, would have a rock as their top priority.

I also don’t really understand the whiff of attitude I sense when someone who chooses not to spend a lot speaks of someone who made the decision to spend a significant amount.

I can’t peg it…but there’s a certain air to some of these posts.[/quote]

ND your avatar cracks me up.

And I didn’t know you could smell attitude.

Listen, OP, just spend what you can afford right now. Simple. There is no magic number when it comes to love.

[quote]nowakc wrote:
…I’m sure i’d get her something nice like in the $1000 range but more than that is just dumb unless i’m rolling in cash.

It all seems like kind of a shallow status thing anyways - girls want the bigger ring to show off to their friends that they are marrying someone rich/successful. If something like that is THAT important to a girl i’d have to examing why exactly she was marrying me.[/quote]

Let me offer some advice on women:

  1. Women by nature are very status oriented and it has nothing to do with being shallow. This is why it’s mandatory to send flowers to her workplace for valentines day and her birthday…she is confirming her status amongst her peers. It’s not a competition thing nor is it a vanity thing - it’s more of a social order thing.

  2. Showing off the ring to her friends has nothing to do with the status of who she is marrying. In reality she is showing off the amount of sacrifice her future husband is willing to make for her. It means a lot to your future wife that you stopped going to clubs and ate Ramen noodles for a few months to buy her that fantastic ring…that sacrifice is what she is (or should be) proud of.

With that said, run as fast as you can from a women who is only interested in the size of the ring than the sacrifice you made to buy the ring.

Also keep in mind that she should be wearing that engagement ring for the rest of her life…you wouldn’t want her to wear a piece of crap for 40 or 50 years do you?

I’ve never really understood the concept of this tradition. Of all the things you could do to show a women that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, love her to death, etc…the best anyone could come up with is going into debt for nothing more than a symbol of materialism?

I like Yo Momma’s idea.

Not trying to piss on your thread JF(or your engagement, congrats dude!). If it’s important to you, I wouldn’t be concerned with the dollar amount, find something you like and go with it.

I spent $325 on the first ring. We were in college and that was a whole lot of money then. I think it was actually 3 months of my “salary” at the time.

After we got out of college and started making the big bucks, we replaced it with a custom made ring. The jeweler got us a great diamond that was around 3/4 carrot and nice to the eye, but not perfect. $1700 total for that. Not a lot of money to spend at all at that point in our lives.

My main advice would be to spend what you’re comfortable spending. If that doesn’t match up with what she wants, then you need to talk through some stuff. Money, kids, religion, etc. It all matters in a marriage. Much easier to figure out now than later on.

Best of luck to you.

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
I’ve got a ways to go, but the relationship is moving in that direction.

Curious as to what others have spent, or what would you spend on a ring?
I’ve been engaged before (in college so I could only afford an $800 ring, which was a waste of money obviously).

I know the standard is 3 months salary, but that’s a lot of fricken money for a ring (and I don’t even make a ton of money).

Also, would you buy from a jeweler like (Kay’s, Shaws, etc.) or one of those discount ones that are like direct from the seller?

[/quote]
Hi,
Finally, something right up my alley!
I am a Gemologist and appraise diamonds all day long. My advice is going to concur with much of what has already been written - with a few explanations and adjustments :>)

  1. stay out of the mall. Stay out of freestanding chain stores. Chain stores have a huge nut to pay every month and although they will advertise huge discouts it is only because of the huge markup. 300% is usual for what the trade calls B&B (bread & butter sales) The larger the stone - the smaller the markup.
  2. Find an independant jeweler. The mom & pop is likely to be more hungry for a good sale. He may not have the stone you are looking for but can get it on “memo” Because he has laid out no cash for a memo stone - often he is willing to make a few bucks and be happy. If you start comparing stones store to store - be sure you are comparing apples with apples. Color and clarity is just the begining of diamond grading - the “make” of the stone is possibly more important than both.
  3. Blue Nile and countless other diamond brokers online. Good source. You can typically buy for 20% back of list. It wasn’t long ago that these places dealt with the trade only. The internet has made it available to the average Joe with a credit card. :>)
  4. Certified stones. Forget IGI and anyone else other than GIA or EGL. GIA is the best (my alma mater) no one will disagree with a GIA cert.
  5. Appriasals. Get the stone appraised immediately by an IDEPENDANT Gemological Lab (like me) You can accept an appraisal by the guy who sold it to you - but spend a few bucks for an unbiased opinion.
  6. Remember - no one is giving diamonds away. If it seems to good to be true - itusually is.

I think the amount to spend has been covered.
Oh, and DeBeers controls about 70% of the world diamond production. Stones will pass through at least 10-15 hands before it reaches the retail market. Most jewelers have no idea where their diamonds initially came from.
Feel free to PM me about any concerns when the purchase time gets closer.

edited for typos :>)

I didn’t read all the replies, so I apologize if it’s been said already. My answer is that it depends on what you can reasonably afford, what she likes and the size of her finger and what you really feel comfortable spending on it. I talked a buddy of mine into a real cheap (yet valuable) ring and his fiance loved it. He had his grandmother’s old diamond ring modified slightly at a minimal cost. Cost wasn’t an issue by the way, but the sentimental aspect is what really hits the woman in the heart. Plus, unless she’s really superficial, she would never tell you she didn’t like it. The other benefit is that typically the diamonds used in average rings 50 years ago were of better quality than today’s average stones.

2nd bit of advice, go with quality over size. Nothing is as cheesy to me as a huge, poorly cut, high set diamond, that has large inclusions and yellow tint.

DB