I’m here at work and I just got stuck behind this morbidly obese (400+lbs) woman waddling down the hallway (2FAT2PASS) and – get this – HER WOODEN HEELED SHOES WERE CREAKING! That my friends, is a sign you need to lose weight. Every step she took I worried one was going to snap off and we’d have to call in a crane to get her back on her hooves. Of course this is the same woman who eats ridiculously small amounts of raw vegetables for lunch everyday. (Yeah, like we believe you eat like that when you’re alone.)
I’ve always had this sort of morbid fascination with the grossly obese. How much do they really eat? Do they have to pry their flabby cheeks apart to take a dump? How can they reach around to wipe their butt?
What are some other signs you need to lose weight? Maybe I’ll compile the list and put it on the fridge here at work!
I’ll kick it off: You might be too fat if you’re wider than the refrigerator.