I’m here at work and I just got stuck behind this morbidly obese (400+lbs) woman waddling down the hallway (2FAT2PASS) and – get this – HER WOODEN HEELED SHOES WERE CREAKING! That my friends, is a sign you need to lose weight. Every step she took I worried one was going to snap off and we’d have to call in a crane to get her back on her hooves. Of course this is the same woman who eats ridiculously small amounts of raw vegetables for lunch everyday. (Yeah, like we believe you eat like that when you’re alone.)
I’ve always had this sort of morbid fascination with the grossly obese. How much do they really eat? Do they have to pry their flabby cheeks apart to take a dump? How can they reach around to wipe their butt?
What are some other signs you need to lose weight? Maybe I’ll compile the list and put it on the fridge here at work!
I’ll kick it off: You might be too fat if you’re wider than the refrigerator.
I’m noticing more and more overweight people as I go about my business every day. I remember as a kid in school there were only a handful of overweight kids in the entire school. These days, when I see the kids waiting for the bus outside my house, at least half seem grossly overweight to me. When I see kids in the malls, I want to throttle the fat little bastards. Not only are they rude as hell, they’re fat and gross. I overheard this lady on the bus the other day lamenting how she went from 280 pounds down to 220, but then she got busy at work and went right back to 280 and she just laughed it off. Whatever happened to self respect?
CGB, so true. Whatever the fuck happened to self-respect?
When did people stop caring about being healthy, looking good, enjoying sex, enjoying the confidence that comes with looking good...
When was the last time we had a fat ass president? How many successful executive CEOs for big name companies do we know that are grossly overweight?
Successful lawyers who are grossly overweight? VERY successful people in general? Marines, Army servicemen?
Very few. And all of those were lawyers. It certainly says something, doent it...
Compare that to how many disgusting pieces of blubber work at supermarkets, dunkin donuts, as janitors - heck most of those look as if they're overdue to deliver a baby.
Even jobs such as truck drivers, LOCAL police officers (not staties), plumbers and carpenters are to a large degree, grossly overweight.
My point being if you're a disgusting piece of blubber, I'd be hiring the thinner, healthier looking one.
Baseline is, if you're grossly overweight you have EVERYTHING TO LOSE: sex, confidence, a good career, more earning potential (unless you're the son of a milionaire). People will avoid hanging out with you because you always seem to take 2.5 seats, and they're afraid you'll go 'you gonna eat that?' over and over again (alright Im joking).
I too am baffled at this fat epidemic. And trust me, this is something that needs some doing about (you know, poke em with a stick, see if they move, then throw them some beef jerky)
I just heard on the news how much tax money is spent on obese people. I wish I could remember the numbers. I shall try to find them online somewhere, provided someone doesn’t beat me to it.
But bottom line, it pisses me off that I (and the rest of us) have to pay to keep these fatties alive.
Kind of funny diesel, but most of the “fat” occupations you listed were lower-paying occupations. It’s funny how being poor in America is more likely to make you obese now.
I think it's more of a vicious circle Jar.
If you're grossly obese, you're much less likely to succeed career-wise, and you're consequently more likely to settle for bad jobs, or somewhat undesirable jobs that dont pay much.
If you barely make enough to make a living, then you're less likely to care about things that are seen as more of a commodity than as a necessity - for exmple working out and staying in shape is, unfortunately, still seen as a commodity and a hobbie, rather than as a necessity.
Either way, you have to be pretty fuckin stupid, aimless, have no goals in life, have the utmost disregard for your own well-being, health, safety, prosperity, if you dont do anything to revert the situation and stop being a gross overweight fat-ass. Just my .02.
Diesel - now you did it! I’ve gone bulimic after seeing the pic cuz it was that gross! What a waste of a fab chicken breast!
Warhose - you’re too fat if you take more than one airline coach seat!!! I know some bbers complain about the smallness of the seat, but so far, I’ve never had a bber take up two seats. I only had fatties who took 1/4-1/2 of MY seat.
And to all those fatties – STAY AWAY FROM MY DAMN SEAT!
BTW – being fat doesn’t necessarily make you unsuccessful since I know some grossly overweight people who seem to make a lot of money and do well. But I wonder at their quality of life in general, outside of their career.
My parents lived in an assisted living facility the last few years of their lives. All the residents were in their eighties and nineties. My Mom commented to me that there were no fat residents at the facility. “Mom, all the fat ones didn’t live long enough to move here,” I told her. (Today would have been my Dad’s 94th birthday. He died two months ago.)
Synerjysm, I'd appreciate if you kept your comments about my girlfriend to yourself. No one needs to know about your boner.
"I'm an asshole yo-dee-yo yo-dee-yo." - Dennis Leary
I LOVE Dennis Leary, he is THE MAN!! I love that song 'I'm an asshole (he's an asshoooole), what an asshole (a fuckin asshoooole)
I couldn’t attend this thread over the holiday, some interesting responses! Thanks for the lovely pic diesel23.
It seems a bit paradoxical that the people who can least afford food seem to have the highest incidence of obesity. I’ve worked and traveled in several countries and I’ve never seen poor people in any other country who were fat.
Here’s another nasty fat story. I used to work with this lady (Her name was actually Bertha!) and one day we all went out to a little ethnic Mexican restaurant for lunch. Bertha was like 5’ nuthin and about 300lbs. She ordered a FRIED PORK RIND SANDWICH! Can there be anything less healthy? It was literally a fried piece of fat on a buttered bun. Watching her eat it was disturbing.
I don’t want to come off as categorically hating fat people or anything - In fact I’m helping a friend of mine come from 280 down to 200 (he’s at 260 after 3 weeks)- but when I see them do such stupid things it’s hard to feel sympathetic.
Oh, and Stella, your future husband might have a tough time doing bulking cycles if you padlock the fridge when he hits 12%!
