Thanks. Yeah I am the guy in the red because I am a math person, I approach everything in life like an equation I need to solve.
I recommend reading something from the humanities for balance - specifically Iâm going to recommend âMeditationsâ by Marcus Aurelius OR âThe Enchiridionâ by Epictetus.
Iâm an analyst with a masters in stats - I know your approach - itâs isolating. Supplementing it with some biographies and philosophy goes a long way.
Donât read to read, read to understand. Context is key.
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I know plenty of engineers, actuaries, and accountants. They donât struggle in social settings (at least not so much that it shows)
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Attempting to treat humans this way wonât work, as youâve noticed. You even TRY to apply this approach to yourself (âtell me what about my personality is badâ), and when people do it to you, you are quick to refute, defend, explain or deny. Now imagine how any other human feels when you try to do the same to them (that is to say, apply an objective mathematical approach to a human matter).
Iâm a misanthrope, but even I understand that humans are far more psychological than they are mathematical. If you try to âsolveâ them, youâll offend them by nature of classifying them. Live humanity, donât try to solve it.
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You take obvious online jokes to heart. You seem to have a belief that youâre smarter than us (stating that child porn is illegal like if no one knows that.) Youâve posted just a few times on this thread alone and I already donât like you and I bet this girl wonât either.
Its an online forum yes, take everything people say with a grain of salt since none of us really know you. But know that your responses have come off as arrogant and hard headed.
BOOM!
Is it because you put on a fake persona?
You may have picked a hammer to drive in a screw on this one.
Iâve heard this a lot in life and have even said it a few times myself.
The thing is, it isnât true. The truth is that it is much harder to learn to listen and understand people than it is to just break someone down into factors that donât solve properly, thus making them easy to dismiss as irrational.
People donât like being âsolvedâ.
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Try to talk to this girl and let it sort itself out. There are so many other girls out there to talk to if sheâs not buying what youâre selling.
I think this all comes down to the fact that I have to be careful about what I say. I will keep that in mind next time.
Right, and I know I wonât look like a triathlete because I donât train that way.
Donât worry about looking like a bodybuilder because:
Youâre good at math right? 
Jeffs competiton lifts:
502 Squat
336 Bench
512 Deadlift
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Cool. I get your point. My lifts are far below most athletes, so I only need to worry about strengthening them.
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High school is weird. Iâve had much more success with dating and non-dating interactions with the other gender since not being in high school. Iâve actually made a couple of great friends from dating apps, which is kind of odd when I put it that way.
Just ask them about their life, find out what they like to do, ask them if theyâd like your company while doing something they like. Donât be scary or creepy, flirt if it seems appropriate but donât push hard if you arenât getting similar feeback.
As cliche as it sounds, be yourself. If they donât like you, any sort of interaction will be miserable to some extent.
Sadly, this is one of the few posts in a while Iâve actually tried to reply to helpfully rather than sarcastically. I was (and in a few ways, still definitely am) very socially uncomfortable for a long time.
You mean talk to them and treat them like normal people, thatâs ground breaking!
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It only gets you past the first stage though, ie. a person who doesnât outright disgust them (although that doesnât automatically rule you out for some lol).
You still need to offer something beyond being civil.
Agreed, I feel this guy may be putting the pussy on a pedestal. First step is just being normal and being able to be yourself, itâs hard to do that when you are treating attractive woman like aliens.
Dude just needs practice and not worry about rejection, better to do this whilst young.
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Or join a band. You can pretty much be a pig of a person and be treated like a God if youâre in a band, you donât even need to be good or successful.
In high school, we did a fake video music video clip to a Machine Head song for a media project and it got played to most of the school. We got all this female attention for months even though we couldnât play shit, it was clearly a backing track and we were clearly had no idea how to even pretend we were playing⊠but even that was enough.
I also remember one of my brotherâs friends, was about 35 and a washed up idiot who had nothing going for him. He was a terrible musician. Bump into him one night, he has a twenty year old under each arm, is drunk as anything and says he just finished a gig and wanted to know if we wanted to join the party⊠errr no thanks lol
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Thatâs usually when I show them the d
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Just to add to this, I was in the same position at college. There was this girl that I was very attracted too, the thought of even talking to her made me panick. I struggled to think straight when she was around, she was 100% out of my league. We exchanged maybe a few little conversations at most despite being in the same class for 2 years.
5 years past and Iâm out having a drink with a few friends, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and itâs her, I was surprised she even remembered me. We got talking over a few drinks, I had a girlfriend and it turns out she was engaged now. We was having a laugh and a joke so I decided to confess to her that I was head over heels for her at college. She said âOh, why did you never speak to me? I felt the same about you back then but I assumed you didnât like meâŠâ
I couldnât believe it. Donât be a pussy like I was and just ask.
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