T Nation

How Do I Go About Approaching an Attractive Girl?

#1

How do I connect with a girl I like and have a meaningful relationship with her, even if it means just being just good friends?

My problem is that I can talk and connect well with guys and girls who I am not attracted to and have a strong relationship. I am not afraid of what I might say. However, when I see a girl I have a crush on, I am never comfortable and always analyze her response. I am afraid I might say something stupid.

I am in high school right now. If I get rejected I will never live it down because everyone will find out and gossip about it. Asking her out during lunch break at school would just embarrass her in front of her friends. I don’t know how to approach her alone. How should I go about asking her out on a date?

#2

Talk to her a lot when you 2 are in group. Then, you can talk to her too when you 2 are alone and it won’t be weird.

Don’t ask her out directly, find an excuse, or ask her to help you out with something and when she does - repay her with lunch or drink… you know how it goes. Some lines that worked for me are “I’m in a hurry at the moment, can we finish this convo at a caffe this weekend?” Or, if girl helped me out with something “You are the best, I got to repay you for this somehow, I’ll buy you a drink at least!”

It worked for me so far.

#3

Oh, a fun question; however, I’m an old fart so things may be different. You’ve got balls to post this on here so there is some confidence in yourself, but if you really are that insecure and worried about gossip, that really sux, but it’s high school…so my question is do you have a mutual friend or a friend of a friend? You could ask them and they could feel her out and see if she knows if you are on the same planet or could talk you up. Besides, she may be shy, too…

#4

Look, being myself in high school too, even some years ago, I know exactly what you’re thinking right now, I had the same thoughts whenever I wanted to talk or get out with a guy, but believe me its not the end of the world, neither high school nor if you get rejected and then people talk about you.
So what? The point here is FOR YOU to create your life the way YOU and only YOU want, so my advice is go on her, ask her like a man, if she says no so what?
Move on! Do not waste your time thinking what might people say, believe me people have their own problems, maybe will gossip u for a little while, but eventually they will turn to their lives.
So get your life in control, the point is for you to get some experiences, learn to confront and beat rejection, cause its a part of our life, absolutely everyone has got rejected in this life, so what? Nobody can point fingers on you cause each of them have had or will surely have the same experience.
The key is to accept that in life not everything will be soft to you, you won’t get what you want by sitting and think about things like "but if they gossip? " you become pathetic and miss chances like that!
Go for it you are a man, grab chances everyday, not talking about romantic relationships only, and adopt a fighting way of life style and thinking, AND to make all the girls want you, GO LIFT.
My quick piece of advice that I also keep giving to my younger brothers :joy:

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#5

As a HS girl (rising senior), I say go for it 100%. You don’t know what she’s thinking unless you ask. Who knows, she might be waiting for you and takes your lack of action as a sign of disinterest. I’ve personally been in a couple of these situations and had the guy just asked, I would have definitely said yes.

Also, NEVER ask in front of her friends. Even if she really likes you, she’ll probably be too embarrassed. Snapchat is a pretty good option. Keep it short though

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#6

You don’t “ask” her anything. Ask yourself how you’ve formed any non-familial relationship up to this point and there’s your answer.

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#8

I recommend a series of escalating questions as the easiest way to get this done with.

“Do you have the time?”
“Oh, can I ask you a question as well?”
“Will you be my friend?”
“Will you cry for me?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Will you hold this for me?”
“Can I put it in your pooper?”
“Bear sized goose or goose sized bear?”
"Can I eat your for din…

Err… strike that last one.

Timing will be everything so practice with your mother or sister a few times.

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#9

You might want to be more specific about what he ought to be practicing with his mother or sister or things might get awkward real quick

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#10

Its not that big of a deal. Trust me, no one in High School really cares about you getting rejected. Sure they might say something, but after a couple of days that wont be an issue anymore. I’m sure you’re not the focus of your entire high school.

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#11

OP, ignore every other piece of advice you get. This is your answer.

#12

OP - everyone in high school is too busy dealing with their own shit to worry about your shit. And if their busy worrying about your shit, they’re leaving their festering pile of shit unattended - keep that in mind and try not to worry so much about those who’d rather focus on your shit than their own shit - it means they’re avoiding something that needs attending and it’ll eventually overtake them. So go take care of yo’ shit.

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#13

Such eloquence, truly said better than I ever could have.

#14

Why would you want a platonic relationship with a hot girl? You either have something in common with her or you don’t. If you have something in common, go be friends. If all she has going for her is she is hot, then what you want is to figure out some way to have sex with her and not embarrass yourself due to the high chance of her rejecting you.

Here is the low-risk, high success rate, approach:

  1. Observe her friends. Hot girls surround themselves with not-as-hot friends. They do this to make themselves look hotter. (Seriously, go google it.)

  2. Figure out her friends. Be friends with them. Shut the hot girl out of your advances 100%. Be polite, but dismissive. Decline to perform any friend or shit tests hot girl provides. Just say no. I don’t care if she is asking for a pencil and you have 10. Do nothing for her. Do nice things for the friends.

  3. Hot girl’s ego will not be able to handle this. She will establish dominance over her friends by giving you a drunken blow job one day.

This never failed for me in high school. Usually took about a month or so to work.

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#15

Well, your post was the inspiration - so part of that belongs to you … thanks bud

#16

I have an uncle who sells bear traps door-to-door, I can hook you up if you want. might help.

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#18

I can’t believe no one’s suggested a dick pic yet. You guys are fucking amateurs.

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#19

But on a serious note. Actually asking someone if they’d like to have a platonic friendship with you is about the creepiest thing you could ever possibly do.

Please don’t do it.

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#21

wait, what? Where did the child porn thing come from?

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#24

heh, if you ask a question in the off-topic forum then you’ll get a lot of smack talk. Don’t take it personally, and no need to apologise.

Honestly, the best thing to do if you want to go out with her is to ask her out. If she says no and people rip on you for it? Act like you don’t care, or better yet, don’t actually care.

Life’s too short to worry about what people think. Nothing worse than looking back on missed chances.

#25

…but if you do … post pics.