I got married and divorced so take what I say with a grain of salt.
Stop thinking about if she is the one. Really. If you go through the relationship with no expectations of the future, you are free. Your mind can only fuck it up.
I was a soldier when I met my wife. I got married and had life all planned out. Then I got my first call to combat, then the second, etc. Life is not ever going to be as you plan. I changed, she changed, we fought. Eventually we realized that we were living on expectations of a false reality.
Enter my current common law. After separating from my wife I had no intention of anything involving a woman other than the moment in front of her. i.e. If I was in a conversation, it was all I focused on. There was no agenda, only the conversation. That went well. Then we got to see each other a few more times by blind luck and the conversation went well again. At the time I was hungry and asked if she wanted to go for dinner. The dinner was great, she started to behave like she was starting to fall for me.
I was totally honest with her and said that I like you, but I have no intention of anything beyond the moment. She asked what that meant. Simple, if we are into each other, fine. If in the next moment we are not, fine. If we are so into each other that we end up in bed together, fine. That is not a commitment and I never will commit to anything other than what my heart tells me in that moment. She didn’t quite understand, which was fine.
We ended up in bed that night. Because of the honesty, there was no breakfast. There was no weird stuff at all actually. Over time (a few months) we ended up sleeping over a bit more and more. At one time I realized that I was no longer attracted to anyone else. No one. And I do get attention from hotties, not one of them attracted me anymore.
We are living together now and still have no expectations of the future. When the time comes that we have that need to have a family, we will get married then. To us, marriage is for family, nothing else. The funny thing is, we have been together for years and we don’t have any expectations for each other still. We have an emotional and physical intimacy that cannot be described. Note the whole way through, we were bruuutally honest with each other. We have never said anything to attack the other during a fight. Hell, we haven’t even really fought.
As for family, the itch is starting, and we both agree that we will know when we know. Maybe soon, maybe not.
The fact that you want southern girl tells me that you are not ready. Period. How do you know when you have the right one? Easy, when she places no demands on you, and you place none on her and you are deliriously in love. I mean no demands. If you both take the attitude that if I want something then I am 100% responsible for that want and I have no right to place any of that responsibility on my partner. Even dishes. If I want them done, I’ll do them. If I am tired or unable to do them, I have a right to ask for help, just no right to expect it. She may say no, fine. If I have any anger in response to her saying no, for any reason, the anger is a result of my not accepting her. If I work on that, all is well.
After practising this for some time now, I can say that you soon realize when you are in need of a change. How? Easy, you get upset and you find that it is justified. If you really do have a lazy girlfriend that never cleans, never does dishes, never works, and it bothers you, you have the problem. After working on it, you accept her for who she is, then the problem is gone. The problem was your acceptance. Now, you can dump her lazy ass, but not with any negative emotions, just acceptance.
You are not ready to marry this girl or any other. Don’t worry about that, worry about your own emotional maturity. When you are able to accept most anything without getting your buttons pushed, you will naturally be attracted to someone else who is ready.