Im normally not one to rant, but tonight while watching the idiot box I saw a commercial for Jacoby & Meyers, humbly offering their legal expertise to anyone who has had “stroke like symptoms” resulting from the use of PPA. The mission of this particular firm is to stand up on behalf of the average citizen whenever the schoolyard bully pushes his weight around. The FDA hasn’t even banned PPA, but that cant possibly stand in the way of the personal injury lawyer. Tomorrow I think I may study what people who’ve had congestive heart failure ate for breakfast and advise the FDA so I can sue someone every time my fruit loops give me heartburn. But for now I think I will just go down to my basement and drop a 45lb plate on my head.